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Question from a sub with a switch male - 12/14/2006 4:37:13 PM

Violetblushes

Posts: 6
Joined: 7/10/2006
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Hi, I'm a submissive female, and I'm currently in a relationship with a switch. More often than not he's dominant, but he also enjoys being submissive and having me take the reigns. The only problem is, I'm not really sure how to pleasure or punish him. I've never really thought about being on the dominant side, and I'm completely lost when he withdraws all control.

Could anyone please give me some ideas?

< Message edited by Violetblushes -- 12/14/2006 5:34:28 PM >

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RE: Sub with a switch male - 12/14/2006 4:59:06 PM

BDSM05478

Posts: 417
Joined: 10/27/2006
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well the first thing I would say is why not do to him what he does to you but also you really need to look inside yourself to see if it is even in you to do that. I'm a switch, I have my *D* 24/7 to him I'm always his baby, yet to my pet I am equally always his Mistress but I can't flip in the sense I could never even imagine topping my Daddy nor bottoming to my pet. at one point in my life I was w/ another switch and for me it was alot of fun but no real substance, no real submission nor domination. So do some soul searching and ALOT of reading, not only the usual information stuff I mean some erotic stories about Femdommes and see if it does anything for ya, that is the most fun research you'll have have. best of luck to you.

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RE: Question from a sub with a switch male - 12/14/2006 7:47:53 PM

BalletBob

Posts: 1645
Joined: 7/14/2005
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Well as a Male Sub, I love a lot of C&BT. Cock Harness or whatever. Tie him Spread Eagle, and play with his Nipples or whatever, but don't stop and make him beg for youto relieve him, and the don't. I love to be Tormented.

Or maybe do what would make you happy? Would you like to dress him up? Would you like him to do something, you wanted to do? Experiment, and try new things. How about Plastic Wrap? A Diaper? Gags? Dress him in some of your clothes, or a Leotard and Tights? How about using a Penis Gag on him, tied Spread Eagle and Blindfolded, and the you can have sex with the Penis Gag, sticking out his mouth.

Having to take a cold Shower, while looking for a Cyber Mistress, BalletBob

< Message edited by BalletBob -- 12/14/2006 7:50:28 PM >

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RE: Question from a sub with a switch male - 12/16/2006 5:56:19 PM

Violetblushes

Posts: 6
Joined: 7/10/2006
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Thanks to both of you for your help. I'll take both or your advice to heart.

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RE: Question from a sub with a switch male - 12/17/2006 4:33:41 AM

DiannaVesta

Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
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I have an idea sine the two of you are a couple and both enjoy submission. First of all I want to say that scenes like this should always have a beginning and an end. It works better this way and allows a platform to be set.

Both of you sit down and outline your perfect submissive fantasy day. It doesn’t have to be specific, just general. It should include a list of hard limits.

Now play a game. Cards, scramble, any game and the loser becomes slave for the day. I know it sounds silly but it sets another platform because the winner now takes liberties and that can be anything YOU want. The list/guide acts as a template, so to speak, not that you are serving their fantasies but considering them in scope of your own. It also gives him permission in an unconscious way to relinquish control on another level. It may seem silly, at first, but it’s also fun and will evolve the more you do it.

The most important thing is to tap into the dynamic and that will set the stage for all types of kinky play.

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