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RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. - 12/17/2006 5:20:13 AM   
FrankAr


Posts: 817
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Unicorm2

In my community there are many uncollared slaves and quite a few selk-collared ones.  The "self collared ones say that it keeps them in the mind-set and leeps preditors away, while the uncollared slaves say that wearing a collar keeps everyone away


Greetings unicorn2,

If people are going to self-collar themselves, then they really do not know what a collar really is, do they?  They really don't know what it feels like to have it placed around your neck by the ONE that you trust implicitly, to have it there by the ONE that you love and adore, that you would do anything for, that you want to spend many a years around them.  The self collar defeats the purpose, and if I started to talk with someone whom had done this, I would just walk away.

Be well and take care.

Master Frank Ar.


< Message edited by FrankAr -- 12/17/2006 5:22:01 AM >

(in reply to Unicorm2)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. - 12/17/2006 6:03:46 AM   
ScooterTrash


Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Unicorm2

In my community there are many uncollared slaves and quite a few selk-collared ones.  The "self collared ones say that it keeps them in the mind-set and leeps preditors away, while the uncollared slaves say that wearing a collar keeps everyone away

Apparently there is some misconception of what a collar means vs. what it is as a fashion statement. This reeks of wearing a wedding ring to ward off predators and then slipping it off if there is some mutual interest. Granted, it's merely a physical item used to denote being collared, but wearing one if you are not "nilla" and acting as if it is a meaningful object is nothing more than dishonesty in my book. Not a trait I (or most) would be looking for. Now if one was simply wearing it as fetish wear and was quite open about using it only as an accessory, that's a whole different ball of wax, although I still wouldn't get the point. I take collars fairly seriously, some perhaps don't...I guess it's the same in the nilla world when it comes to rings...c'est la vie.
 
Food for thought; If it would be determined that wearing one for no reason is acceptable (thus it "means" nothing), doesn't it sort of negate the whole concept of being collared.

_____________________________

Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
-Albert Einstein

(in reply to Unicorm2)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. - 12/17/2006 6:58:04 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ScooterTrash
Food for thought; If it would be determined that wearing one for no reason is acceptable (thus it "means" nothing), doesn't it sort of negate the whole concept of being collared.

No.  Symbols are not universal.  Even the same person and the same physical object can be used in multiple ways.  A symbol means whatever we choose it to mean.

Now, they should recognize that they may be perceived the way you describe here and it might limit their options in ways they might not necessarily desire, but one can certainly have a collar they wear as meaningless and then one day wear it for a particular meaning.

I'm more against this because it lets the person rely on some object rather than being directly accountable.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ScooterTrash)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. - 12/17/2006 9:11:57 PM   
embersMaster


Posts: 24
Joined: 6/12/2006
Status: offline 		Self-Collared?  Does that mean that they are multiple personalities and the submissive personality is collared by the Dominant personality?!?

Self-collaring sounds like a cheap imitation and quite frankly as if someone is wanting the status of being collared more than the experience of earning it.

A collar is a gift and an honor that is bestowed upon a worthy submissive by their Master. 

_____________________________

embersMaster

(in reply to Unicorm2)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. - 12/22/2006 7:58:13 PM   
acctonthelook


Posts: 245
Joined: 3/28/2006
Status: offline 		Frank, finally someone is stating something intelligent and according to collar protocol!  People study the lifestyle not the trends.......geezzzz!  No respect in this thread for the actual meaning of a training, consideration, and commitment collar.  STUDY PEOPLE, STUDY b4 you enter this lifestyle.  This is what people like me find irritating.  A commitment or any other collar is like marriage and NOT to be taken lightly. Period.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FrankAr

quote:

ORIGINAL: Unicorm2

In my community there are many uncollared slaves and quite a few selk-collared ones.  The "self collared ones say that it keeps them in the mind-set and leeps preditors away, while the uncollared slaves say that wearing a collar keeps everyone away


Greetings unicorn2,

If people are going to self-collar themselves, then they really do not know what a collar really is, do they?  They really don't know what it feels like to have it placed around your neck by the ONE that you trust implicitly, to have it there by the ONE that you love and adore, that you would do anything for, that you want to spend many a years around them.  The self collar defeats the purpose, and if I started to talk with someone whom had done this, I would just walk away.

Be well and take care.

Master Frank Ar.



< Message edited by acctonthelook -- 12/22/2006 8:05:41 PM >

(in reply to FrankAr)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. - 12/22/2006 8:01:13 PM   
kittensmailbox


Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline 		WOW, self collaring, ???  That is something that i have never heard of...  Truly do not see how that works... Who are they collared too, themselfes? 

_____________________________

~softly smiles

~lowers her eyes in respect~

~kitten

(in reply to acctonthelook)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. - 12/22/2006 8:23:06 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		A collar, like a ring, is a piece of jewelry. It is nothing more and it nothing less.

I wear one ring currently. My dominant gave it to me and I wear it on my right hand. He wears one from me on his right hand.

I do not have a collar from him. But I do have a collection of collars that I have bought for myself and one that was given to me by my ex-fiance. I wear them when it pleases me and when it pleases my dominant.

I wear them around lifestyle people because I can enjoy someone just understanding what it means and not asking questions. Sometimes I will wear one to mark that I can owned, though he has not yet collared me as we regard that as like an engagement ring. Sometimes I wear one because I look damn good in black leather! 

In the end, it's just jewelry and it's importence is only what the person wearing it gives it. If someone wants to self-collar, then I say go for it! All they are saying is "I belong to myself right now. I am a submissive but I am currently calling the shots in my life." Frankly, I think that's a good thing. It's difficult to be a single submissive, particularly when some dominants think they can claim us without our consent if there isn't some "collar of protection" on us.

Like the ring I wear, there are many different reasons to wear a collar. Be it pretty, be it to mark ourselves as taken, be it because it is a cherished gift, be it a symbol of being owned - all of them are valid.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to kittensmailbox)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. - 12/22/2006 8:32:14 PM   
Kirei


Posts: 146
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		  Wow I didn't know you could self-collar yourself.....I wish to know more!

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. - 12/23/2006 7:54:39 PM   
ImpGrrl


Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: acctonthelook

Frank, finally someone is stating something intelligent and according to collar protocol!  People study the lifestyle not the trends.......geezzzz!  No respect in this thread for the actual meaning of a training, consideration, and commitment collar.  STUDY PEOPLE, STUDY b4 you enter this lifestyle.  This is what people like me find irritating.  A commitment or any other collar is like marriage and NOT to be taken lightly. Period.



Study what?  The stuff you talk about are only *some* people's way of doing things.  If it doesn't work for someone else - so be it.

Personally, I find the stuff you mention to be almost as silly as "collars of protection". 

I'm with LA on this one, all the way.

(in reply to acctonthelook)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. - 12/23/2006 9:38:02 PM   
MasterRocky


Posts: 3
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		As a master you is or you aint. Being self-collared means you are playing a game with
yourself and other people around you. A collar has one purpose only and that is to show
you are a slave collared by a master. I like to know how in the word can you be your own
master if you are the slave that is the master that not the slave that want to be the slave that
not a slave, ect. If that kinda got your going around think of what it would feel like if you
was a dog with your collar on your tail. That would sure get you going around!

(in reply to Unicorm2)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. - 12/24/2006 12:43:19 AM   
acctonthelook


Posts: 245
Joined: 3/28/2006
Status: offline 		your belief system is what has turned this lifestyle into gamers and players.   bottom feeders for those of us who hold a collar in their heart with the upmost respect and dignity, not some 'thing' to do with what we please or when it suits us. 

what would you do if you were given a screw down collar? hmmm would you respect it then?  would you hold honor and respect the Master/ Dom who gave it too you?  i wonder.  but maybe one day you'd just remove it anyway because for that day it did not suit you or your desires. like many vanilla men and woman do, oh today i don't feel like wearing it, the oath and honor i took means really nothing.  it should mean everything.  it should be held in high regard.  it is a symbol of true submission, trust, honor that he the Master/ Dom offers and you except it because of that submission, trust, honor and a bond. 

as to another poster, how could you even think of wearing a collar from another Dom/ Master with your present Dom/ Master??? 

this lifestyle is about much more than making up your own rules as you go along.  just like certain religions.  oh that ruling is too rough so i'll be this and do that and all will be well with the world. 

are you looking for real honest D/s or just kink?  there is protocol with D/s.

imo, you have no honor or respect for D/s.  your attack on my personal feelings of  respect and honor regarding collaring and for D/s just shows how little you do respect the lifestyle and honor, respect D/s. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: ImpGrrl

Study what?  The stuff you talk about are only *some* people's way of doing things.  If it doesn't work for someone else - so be it.

Personally, I find the stuff you mention to be almost as silly as "collars of protection". 


(in reply to ImpGrrl)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. - 12/24/2006 7:06:34 AM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

this lifestyle is about much more than making up your own rules as you go along.  just like certain religions.  oh that ruling is too rough so i'll be this and do that and all will be well with the world. 

are you looking for real honest D/s or just kink?  there is protocol with D/s.

And just who wrote those rules & protocols, and where can one find them.....at least the "certain religions" you mentioned had the decency to put them in a book and to make said book freely available to all and sundry.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to acctonthelook)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. - 12/24/2006 7:26:01 AM   
ImpGrrl


Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: acctonthelook

your belief system is what has turned this lifestyle into gamers and players.   bottom feeders for those of us who hold a collar in their heart with the upmost respect and dignity, not some 'thing' to do with what we please or when it suits us. 

what would you do if you were given a screw down collar? hmmm would you respect it then?  would you hold honor and respect the Master/ Dom who gave it too you?  i wonder.  but maybe one day you'd just remove it anyway because for that day it did not suit you or your desires. like many vanilla men and woman do, oh today i don't feel like wearing it, the oath and honor i took means really nothing.  it should mean everything.  it should be held in high regard.  it is a symbol of true submission, trust, honor that he the Master/ Dom offers and you except it because of that submission, trust, honor and a bond. 

as to another poster, how could you even think of wearing a collar from another Dom/ Master with your present Dom/ Master??? 

this lifestyle is about much more than making up your own rules as you go along.  just like certain religions.  oh that ruling is too rough so i'll be this and do that and all will be well with the world. 

are you looking for real honest D/s or just kink?  there is protocol with D/s.

imo, you have no honor or respect for D/s.  your attack on my personal feelings of  respect and honor regarding collaring and for D/s just shows how little you do respect the lifestyle and honor, respect D/s. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: ImpGrrl

Study what?  The stuff you talk about are only *some* people's way of doing things.  If it doesn't work for someone else - so be it.

Personally, I find the stuff you mention to be almost as silly as "collars of protection". 




Don't you go making asumptions about me and my life, and my belief systems.

My point was,   there is no universal over-arching protocol, there is no universal over-arching meaning of collars, there is no One True Way.

Be a dear, and get your head out of your tuchus please?

(in reply to acctonthelook)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. - 12/24/2006 7:38:19 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Chill

(in reply to acctonthelook)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. - 12/24/2006 7:42:19 AM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		Is there a universal symbol other than a collar that a sub can wear to show she is available and not vanilla?

(in reply to ImpGrrl)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. - 12/24/2006 7:47:06 AM   
ImpGrrl


Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Is there a universal symbol other than a collar that a sub can wear to show she is available and not vanilla?


Not really - just go, be yourself, and talk to people :)

If you want to *try* to be symbolic (Most people won't get it, but ...) you can wear a leather wristband - on your right wrist.  In gay leather "flagging" system, at least the one I'm familiar with (I know that even that wasn't universal to start, but it's become a bit ore homogeneous today), right = bottom, left = top.  That works for d/s too.

Then again, as I said - only a few select will get it.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. - 12/24/2006 8:05:46 AM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		AS someone who holds the idea of protocol and traditions dear, I have no problem with the idea of someone self collaring.
They own themselves, who says they are active recieving advances to be their next owner, perhaps it is better for them that they not be chased around the community by every newbie who thinks they are hot.
The thing is when a slave is not owned and not looking, (ie working on themselves, their education, their children, their whatever) then they own themselves.
It's not a matter of multiple personalities, nor of them being the master and the slave at the same time, they own and have exclussive rights to their own body and their own time. The multiple levels of meaning people have thrown at "the collar" over the years has expanded already, it had expanded to include all sorts of new meanings, the idea of a training collar is relatively new,as are most of the ideas beyond the collar as a symbol of ownership. Which is the one historicly accurate meaning for a collar, (the existance of an iron slave collar dating back to Roman times at least and possibly other older examples can be found.)



(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. - 12/24/2006 8:07:36 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: acctonthelook
your belief system is what has turned this lifestyle into gamers and players.   

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO

A sure sign that he has no idea who you are or what he is talking about.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to acctonthelook)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. - 12/24/2006 9:21:42 AM   
Voltare


Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Is there a universal symbol other than a collar that a sub can wear to show she is available and not vanilla?


You mean you don't know the secret BDSM handshake?  Haven't received your power BDSMer decoder ring?

Seriously, I've found that most women (and men, for that matter) who are available and non-vanilla have little trouble making that fact known and circulated within the local BDSM community.  As for spotting BDSMers in a vanilla crowd, there are sometimes tell-tale signs; double meaning jokes, 'play' collars, handcuff earrings, corsets, etc etc can all be an indication.  Of course, it never hurts to ask (discreetly, of course.)

_____________________________

http://www.vv3b.com/

"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. - 12/24/2006 9:51:57 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Voltare

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Is there a universal symbol other than a collar that a sub can wear to show she is available and not vanilla?


You mean you don't know the secret BDSM handshake?  Haven't received your power BDSMer decoder ring?

Seriously, I've found that most women (and men, for that matter) who are available and non-vanilla have little trouble making that fact known and circulated within the local BDSM community.  As for spotting BDSMers in a vanilla crowd, there are sometimes tell-tale signs; double meaning jokes, 'play' collars, handcuff earrings, corsets, etc etc can all be an indication.  Of course, it never hurts to ask (discreetly, of course.)


Does the BDSM decoder ring come with x-ray goggles to see who is carrying handcuffs?

Honestly, it's like trying to figure out if the other girl is giving me the eye... or she just has something in her eye. You have to ask discreet questions and see how they respond to "in" jokes. Someone who responds badly to "Sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me" is probably not a BDSMer.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Voltare)
Profile   Post #: 40
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