RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared.

RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. (Full Version)

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Nosathro -> RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. (12/24/2006 8:36:17 PM)
Tal As for this "self-collaring" I find it offensive to the BDSM/Gor/Old Guard/ etc, it is a mockery of the Lifestyle. I wish you well Nosathro

MQFslavetonia -> RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. (12/24/2006 9:17:27 PM)
As one that has studied and researched many different sites trying to understand the lifestyle or "world" that i have entered into at this stage of my life, there are many conflicting opinions out there that it is hard to get to know just what is "proper" or "improper" procedures. This girl's advice would be to speak with many others in the lifestyle and get to know the procedures they bring to you. All in all, there are a few basic "rules" in this world and one of them is about collars. It has always been explained to me as a symbol that you have given the control of yourself to One for a lifelong commitment. This is true be it a wedding ring, a collar, or even some other agreed upon item. What matters most is the wading through of all the Ones who come to you under the guise of being a "Master" and yet not knowing the first thing about it. This girl accepted the collar of her One with great joy, trepidation, and longing to be the best she can be. There are many times girl gets impatient and yet He constantly reminds her that she is now under His control and therefore she will go as fast or as slow as He deems necessary. There are times He has to pull the "reins" back on girl to slow her down for she would rush headlong into many things without the proper instruction. To self collar, to this girl, means that a sub/slave is so anxious and impetuous that she or he does not wish to wait for the true meaning of the collar to be bestowed upon them. This is where many go astray is by trying to rush things just to see how it feels. A piece of advice, slow down, take the time to learn and grow, and let things progress at their own pace and do not rush this for to rush means that in the long run a girl can become overwhelmed with much misinformation and will be hurt either physically or mentally. Be strong in your convictions and do what is best for you and do not worry about the others.

subnstudent -> RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. (12/25/2006 2:28:06 PM)
I'm going to stand by my previous statement and say a symbol is just a symbol. In the case of any locking/screw-on/etc collars, they're made to be hard to remove. If both parties want that, then more power to them. If a person didn't want to wear one all the time, I should hope the Master in this relationship would understand, and choose something more suitable or come to an agreement about wearing it. If he wasn't amenable to this idea, then there might be communication issues between them. I say, "It's just a collar." Sure, it might be a symbol of ownership and commitment, but those can exist without a symbol. Likewise, the collar can exist without a meaning behind it. It's just what works for every individual person, and frankly if people disagree to the point where they start flaming one another, I'd think that they weren't going to get involved with one another so there's no point to bickering about it. If you're going to say, "I don't understand why," then pay attention to the posts that actually say something. If you just disagree, go ahead. Your opinion is duly noted and life will go on. That's it.

Celeste43 -> RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. (12/26/2006 9:49:07 AM)
Some just wear them because it's fashionable. Some to keep down the HNGs. Some because they aren't ready to start dating again and just come out to be with friends. Talk to them and ask. The symbols don't matter, the feelings do.

ImpGrrl -> RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. (12/26/2006 6:34:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Nosathro Tal As for this "self-collaring" I find it offensive to the BDSM/Gor/Old Guard/ etc, it is a mockery of the Lifestyle. I wish you well Nosathro Exactly how?

ScienceBoy -> RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. (12/26/2006 6:37:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Nosathro Tal As for this "self-collaring" I find it offensive to the BDSM/Gor/Old Guard/ etc, it is a mockery of the Lifestyle. I wish you well Nosathro Golly. I fail to think of a response to this that isn't rude, beyond "good" [:)] Go in peace.

slavemaia -> RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. (12/26/2006 7:23:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Unicorm2 In my community there are many uncollared slaves and quite a few selk-collared ones. The "self collared ones say that it keeps them in the mind-set and leeps preditors away, while the uncollared slaves say that wearing a collar keeps everyone away A self-collared slave???? Interesting. Personally i don't see the point. Before being collared, i didn't need a collar to tell anyone i was not interested in to leave me alone - i just simply told them to leave me alone and took whatever steps necessary if they didn't. A collar holds way too much significance for me to wear it for any other reason than as a statement of my commitment to my Master as His slave, His property, His possession. i would find it a very very lonely feeling wearing a collar that didn't actually belong to anyone. But to each his/her own.[:)]

Nosathro -> RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. (12/26/2006 9:17:15 PM)
greetings ImpGrrl Rather than get back on my soap box I sugguest you go back through these threads and read some of those who have stated their displeasure at this. I wish you well Nosathro

Nosathro -> RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. (12/26/2006 9:21:33 PM)
Tal SciencBoy *quote:* Golly. I fail to think of a response to this that isn't rude, beyond "good" [:)] Go in peace. A wise choice. I wish you well Nosathro

fingerman075 -> RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. (12/27/2006 5:10:09 AM)
im stuip what is this meaning of collars,all my slave girls after i came into there live only bar one has been with a other man sinice me,dose this mean i now got too buy 6 collars.i buy a new whip or new tool ,i go test it out on all of them one buy one,sure it takes 3 weeks too test or use it on all of them,ah you all think im braging but come too my list and not just this list and find out

Caitriona -> RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. (12/27/2006 10:57:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Archer AS someone who holds the idea of protocol and traditions dear, I have no problem with the idea of someone self collaring. They own themselves, who says they are active recieving advances to be their next owner, perhaps it is better for them that they not be chased around the community by every newbie who thinks they are hot. The thing is when a slave is not owned and not looking, (ie working on themselves, their education, their children, their whatever) then they own themselves. It's not a matter of multiple personalities, nor of them being the master and the slave at the same time, they own and have exclussive rights to their own body and their own time. The multiple levels of meaning people have thrown at "the collar" over the years has expanded already, it had expanded to include all sorts of new meanings, the idea of a training collar is relatively new,as are most of the ideas beyond the collar as a symbol of ownership. Which is the one historicly accurate meaning for a collar, (the existance of an iron slave collar dating back to Roman times at least and possibly other older examples can be found.) Thank you very much, Sir Archer - you've given me something to think upon.

AquaticSub -> RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. (12/27/2006 5:18:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fingerman075 im stuip what is this meaning of collars,all my slave girls after i came into there live only bar one has been with a other man sinice me,dose this mean i now got too buy 6 collars.i buy a new whip or new tool ,i go test it out on all of them one buy one,sure it takes 3 weeks too test or use it on all of them,ah you all think im braging but come too my list and not just this list and find out Huh?

Travelino -> RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. (12/31/2006 10:13:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Unicorm2 Mainly wanting other people's points of view. I am a newbie, uncollared and desperately wanting a collar. But am not sure a self-sollar will help me reach my goal of relationship Hi there Unicorm2! Generally speaking, when in the BDsM community, anyone wearing a collar indicates to me that they are currently taken, in one form or another. I will ask around to verify my initial impression. I realize that in some instances, one is wearing a collar for some scening that is about to transpire (usually at a playparty) and means that they are taken for that particular scene or the collar will be used during that scene. In a vanilla environment, however, anyone wearing any sort of collar means very little to me, although, if they peak my interest, I may inquire about that particular piece of accessory they are wearing. I would think that anyone wearing a collar may have their own reasons for wearing one, and the reason is very real to them. I, personally, revere a collar and the significance of it in the BDsM community, and would have a tendency to question the person donning such a item under false pretenses. Travelino.

asubmissiveheart -> RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. (12/31/2006 10:14:54 PM)
self-collaring? I have heard it all now.

Carrianna -> RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. (1/1/2007 4:41:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gypsygrl Forgive me, but I never heard of self collaring and am having a hard time wrapping my mind around the notion. Could someone give me some background? Thought I was the only one!!! Have had a sub say he spanked himself... But self collared...

beltainefaerie -> RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. (1/2/2007 6:02:13 PM)
wow, goodpet! That is the only good explanation of a formal-type self-collaring I've ever heard. While I would not choose it myself, it does actually make sense and I am glad it worked for her. Mastering yourself is the first step on this path.

RandomGAGirl -> RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. (1/2/2007 6:41:54 PM)
Collaring myself would seem kind of pointless to me and also take the joy out of it. I guess like wearing a wedding ring that you bought yourself knowning good and well you aren't married. I know some people want to keep the predators away and I've seen a few who got their own collars and collared themselves because they were secretly hoping for a collar from someone else sigh. As a sub I would prefer to just not have a collar on and deal with interest than misrepresent my status.

Adrenochrome -> RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. (1/2/2007 11:18:03 PM)
If a person wears a collar for aesthetic reasons, that's one thing. If it's for a metaphoric reason, that's another thing altogether. My slave has been told that she'll wear an actual collar as a symbol of my Ownership of her. That was non-negotiable, since it's what I prefer. However, I could have just as easily demanded that she wear a ring, or a belt, or a hanging necklace, or really just about anything else. Context is everything, naturally enough, since relationships are -- oddly enough -- always unique. In general, if I see a person wearing a collar (even at a munch or a fetish event or suchlike), I refrain from making assumptions about what it means or represents to them. Self-collaring for purposes of showing a symbol I personally think is a bit sketchy, since it doesn't attain similitude with my attitude towards D/s. I wouldn't hate somebody that did it, mind you, but I wouldn't think all that much of it.

jthorne -> RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. (1/2/2007 11:27:26 PM)
Not sure about everyone who says wearing a ring will make people back off. I wear a plain silver band on my left ring finger. It's from a relationship I had with a woman I'm still close to...actually, she got married but wears the match to my ring on her right hand, lol. But the point of the ring is to dissuade men on the prowl when I am in social situations. I don't want male attention due to my sexual orientation. However, if someone I'd like to know as a friend talks to me, then points out the ring, I say that it's my Ring of Disinterest and keeps the testosterone from splooging all over me all the time. I don't lack for attention because I wear what looks like a wedding ring, is what I am saying. And no, I do not take it off ever.

acctonthelook -> RE: Uncollared vs. Self-collared. (1/3/2007 7:02:58 PM)
ROFL.............[:D] quote: ORIGINAL: asubmissiveheart self-collaring? I have heard it all now.

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