Transitioning from one Master to another (Full Version)

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yoursubliminal -> Transitioning from one Master to another (12/16/2006 7:14:41 AM)

I was released by my previous Master some time ago and he has been assisting me in a search for a new one. He introduced me to a someone who appears to be suitable.

My problem...things are moving very slowly in getting to know this new Master.  No commitments have been made on either side.  I have been feeling very 'alone' and decided to have coffee with my old Master to discuss things. Well, it turned into a little more than coffee.  Now I feel like I have betrayed my prospective Master's trust.

Was what I/we did wrong?



SmokingGun82 -> RE: Transitioning from one Master to another (12/16/2006 7:30:41 AM)

Right and wrong are extremely subjective. No one can give you a definitive answer, so I'm going to guess you want opinions.

If there's no commitment between you and the new guy, implied or explicit, then there's nothing wrong. If there is a commitment, then it might have been wrong, depending on the terms. From the information that you have given here, though, it does not appear to have been "wrong."

It might throw a hink into things... especially since not telling the new guy WOULD be wrong.

As always, just my opinion.



yoursubliminal -> RE: Transitioning from one Master to another (12/16/2006 7:37:18 AM)

There is one other small detail...my previous Master is mentoring my prospective new Master.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Transitioning from one Master to another (12/16/2006 8:15:13 AM)

You're having a rebound fling.  I think this whole thing is just too incestuous and complicated to be of much actual use to anyone.

Stand on your own for 6 months and then see how you feel about things.  Failing that, pick for your own damn self who you want to fuck and who you want to have a relationship with and then go do that- since that's pretty much what you're already doing.  Just be open with everyone about it now.



yoursubliminal -> RE: Transitioning from one Master to another (12/16/2006 9:22:57 AM)

Thanks for your help (NOT!) Ms. LuckyAlbatross.  I've been reading many of your posts and it must be wonderful to have the answer to all the world's problems.



LadyHugs -> RE: Transitioning from one Master to another (12/16/2006 9:35:20 AM)

Dear yoursubliminal, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
In my mind's eyes I see based on the original post and the one following where you added to the original post; I am rather disappointed that the Old Master took liberties of old ties.
 
In my mind's eyes I see, if I am mentoring another Master, I don't mess with his/her potential slave and or their toys.  In taking advantage of you in a non-committed relationship; is no different than some John Doe wearing a Mr. Dom suit took advantage of you.  However, the Old Master knew better and that is what is disappointing to me. The lack of respect to the New Dominant and to you.
 
Perhaps I am old fashioned; but if I was in the same position of having released a slave and in the phase of transfer to another, especially to a dominant I was mentoring, I would have the three of us meet as to comfort and re-affirm the commitment to you as a slave.  I want the dominant that will be taking you on; to see that this is about caring about the human side of things, not just the roles we embody.  In my mind's eyes, my behavior and conduct would be totally supportive and positive, such as a hug or more (being a hug type), spending as much time you need to talk and for me to listen and to exchange thoughts.
In addition, I would want to know as a dominant, how to best help you through the transition; just as much as I would want to know how to best help the new dominant to take you on.
 
That said, in my mind's eyes I see, you're in a mid-flight position in between to men swinging on the trapeze, as you really aren't home to any of the two swinging with arms spread ready to catch you as you are tossed back and forth.  If you do not like the one who is to catch you and or the one who has tossed you; just drop to the net and resume your journey independent of them both.  Take a break and when the time is ready, climb up the ladder and rejoin the trapeze experience until you have been caught, kept secure and resume in a new relationship.
 
It is hoped, that you follow your gut instincts of what is right for you, and do so without guilt or regrets.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
 
 



RiotGirl -> RE: Transitioning from one Master to another (12/16/2006 10:06:56 AM)

quote:

In my mind's eyes I see, if I am mentoring another Master, I don't mess with his/her potential slave and or their toys.  In taking advantage of you in a non-committed relationship; is no different than some John Doe wearing a Mr. Dom suit took advantage of you.  However, the Old Master knew better and that is what is disappointing to me. The lack of respect to the New Dominant and to you.


Thats excatlly what i was thinking.  I wouldnt actually place any "wrong" doing upon you, but upon your former Master.  Although you do have responsiblity here.  I would say, tell the new Dom what happened.  Does he deserve the truth? He's sort of been bamboozled by the both of you.  Then maybe again, he doesnt care.  If you do end up with the new Dom - you wouldnt really want to be 2 years down the line and THEN tell him the truth eh?



yoursubliminal -> RE: Transitioning from one Master to another (12/16/2006 10:25:11 AM)

Lady Hugs, you truly see the full picture.  I thank you for your insightful response. 



scratchingpost -> RE: Transitioning from one Master to another (12/16/2006 10:34:53 AM)

Taking the time to heal until you can decide where you want to be might prevent all parties involved a lot of future pain and suffering...consider that and be honest with yourself as well as the boys involved



feylin -> RE: Transitioning from one Master to another (12/16/2006 11:13:33 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: yoursubliminal

Thanks for your help (NOT!) Ms. LuckyAlbatross.  I've been reading many of your posts and it must be wonderful to have the answer to all the world's problems.


LOL, sometimes her posts are not easy to read because the truth often hurts, but she cuts right through to the chase, doesn't she?  Not saying her truth has to be your truth, its just my opinion.

Bottom line is that everyone is getting screwed, right?  Its just two are getting more enjoyment out of it than the other guy.

Despite the fact that you do not like how LA worded her post, you might consider her suggestion....step back, be honest with yourself (not to mention everyone else) and then choose your path.  (Lady Hugs offers the same advice, I think, she just gave blame to the old Master ~ if I read it correctly.)

Because if you have to ask,

"Was what I/we did wrong? "

you already know ~ and I don't mean from my perspective because what I think about what you all are doing should not matter a whit in your life.  I meant, if you have to ask that question, your answer has already been rolling around in your head and you came here looking for a different one.  (Personally, I do not think getting a booty call from an ex is a bad thing when you are feeling lonely. Comfortable pastures and all that.  It becomes an incestuous clusterfuck, though, when you add in all the other details:  mentoring, prospecting, secrets, misrepresentation.)

Just saying...and I've been wrong before. Good luck. 



BlueEyedSubinDE -> RE: Transitioning from one Master to another (12/16/2006 11:28:55 AM)

"Thanks for your help (NOT!) Ms. LuckyAlbatross.  I've been reading many of your posts and it must be wonderful to have the answer to all the world's problems."

Why?  Because you didn't like her answer?  Someone please show me in the posting rules where it says only responses that are what the poster wants to hear will be accepted. 



yoursubliminal -> RE: Transitioning from one Master to another (12/16/2006 11:33:16 AM)

RE:  Thanks for your help (NOT!) Ms. LuckyAlbatross.  I've been reading many of your posts and it must be wonderful to have the answer to all the world's problems.

I'm entitled to speak my mind as well folks.  I didn't find her answer helpful so I said so.  Free speech is free speech.



RedSavageSlave -> RE: Transitioning from one Master to another (12/16/2006 11:36:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: yoursubliminal

RE:  Thanks for your help (NOT!) Ms. LuckyAlbatross.  I've been reading many of your posts and it must be wonderful to have the answer to all the world's problems.

I'm entitled to speak my mind as well folks.  I didn't find her answer helpful so I said so.  Free speech is free speech.


Perhaps the reason you didnt find it helpful was because you didnt want honest responses...merely validation for what you did.

Sorry that we cant all accomodate..



BlueEyedSubinDE -> RE: Transitioning from one Master to another (12/16/2006 12:49:07 PM)

"Thank you for reply, I disagree is" or some version there of is stating you don't find an answer helpful. 

Snipping at someone is not.  Perhaps in the future when you post a question you could list appropriate responses?  As well as include a list of people you don't want to answer your question?  Then will life be sugar coated enough for you?



feylin -> RE: Transitioning from one Master to another (12/16/2006 1:47:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: yoursubliminal

RE:  Thanks for your help (NOT!) Ms. LuckyAlbatross.  I've been reading many of your posts and it must be wonderful to have the answer to all the world's problems.

I'm entitled to speak my mind as well folks.  I didn't find her answer helpful so I said so.  Free speech is free speech.


Too true!  I did not mean to jump on The LA Defensive Team ~ although, I hear they have cool t-shirts (the nipples are cut out).  My humble opinion is that she can cut to the heart (and sometimes through the heart with a rusty serrated steak knife) of the matter in 50 words or less depending on the topic.  I should have said "yeah! What she said!" and left it at that so we would have less posts about her? Because this is not her mess o' men,  is it?  It is your's, yes?

So...mmmm..yeah! What she said!  (But hold off until after the holidays, so you get more gifts. <grins>  I can say that 'cause I think your mind is already made up to blame the releaser for taking advantage of your lonely, needy moment as you struggled valianty to hold him off (sarcasm!) and shyster the new guy into thinking you aren't a wanton slut who (dammit!) needs to get your freak on once in a while as you await the perfect "One."  Just be careful if grand "One" rides in on a white steed...I'm thinking stable duty...ick.)

Random question of the day:  "If  I never had a man in my life, would I ever leave the house?"

Dear Abby's Slutty Sister,
Christine



Voltare -> RE: Transitioning from one Master to another (12/16/2006 2:03:15 PM)

Um,

Is it just me, or didn't LA and LadyHugs say pretty much give the same advice?



jblack -> RE: Transitioning from one Master to another (12/16/2006 2:13:54 PM)

I also think they said pretty much the same thing. It's just that their styles differ. LadyHugs provides, well, hugs, while LA calls a spade a shovel. As Feylin points out, LA cuts to the heart of the matter. Both are valid, but, editorially speaking, I'm drawn to the serrated knife style. Mmm, hurts so good.

P.S. Where do I get one of those cool nipple-less shirts? I'm dying for a nipple-less shirt!



yoursubliminal -> RE: Transitioning from one Master to another (12/16/2006 2:37:13 PM)

Just for the record, I ain't blaming anyone but me for what happened.  I am not waiting for the perfect "One" because there is no such thing.  I just think that certain responses take into account that humans are humans and emotional/physical needs sneak in and take control from time to time.

I would like to thank all who posted whether I agree with you or not.  If you took offense at my response to someone, that's your problem.  If that person wishes to take it up with me, they can.




Voltare -> RE: Transitioning from one Master to another (12/17/2006 12:59:58 AM)

It's one thing to reject someone's advice, quite another thing to take a pot shot at them.  If you find her posts irritating, there's a big red hand that's next to the word 'BLOCK' under her post.  You'll find it under mine as well.  Liberal use of both should make your world a happier place.



ShiftedJewel -> RE: Transitioning from one Master to another (12/17/2006 5:20:39 AM)

quote:

I would like to thank all who posted whether I agree with you or not.  If you took offense at my response to someone, that's your problem.  If that person wishes to take it up with me, they can.


You know... there was a point in time when I would have agreed with your statement to LA. It wasn't long ago enough yet that I'm even comfy simply stating that I agree with her yet...(but you know I love you LA...lol) But give credit where it's due... You got a clear cut, straight forward and to the point answer and being just as clear cut and straight forward at your age you should already know how to avoid the types of situations that end up causing you to ask that type of question. No, I don't think the ex is completely to blame... "no" could have come out of your mouth at any time.
 
Above and beyond that... I really don't think you wanna get into a battle of words with LA. She can state her point of view clearly and succinctly from at least dozen angles and you've already stooped to insults.
 
And I want my t-shirt to have nipples thank you.. it's a control thing.
 
Jewel



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