RE: Total Confusion

RE: Total Confusion (Full Version)

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theGuideGoddess -> RE: Total Confusion (12/19/2006 4:39:05 AM)
Innerslave, Ramboslave has certainly brought out a valid point. It could well be that the root of your problems with your potential owner lies in the definition process (as we had previously discussed). It seems that you define a slave who has knowledge of every aspect of his owner’s life. Not all owners are willing to share their entire life with their slaves. Again, this comes down to you ability to be happy and satisfied in such a situation. Another factor that I am considering here is the entire chemistry of on line vs. real time. I find it interesting that in advance of ever meeting you she has made a decision to never sleep with you. I would not be making that decision personally in advance of meeting someone. It is entirely possible that you could have that zap me now chemistry and then what? This causes me to believe that you may have different definitions of slavery. In your definition the slave is sexual with their owner and perhaps it is so simple that in her definition the slave is not. Did you ever let her know that you believed a slave was very much like a vanilla relationship with the exception of the servitude portion? Are you seeking monogamy? How intense was your relationship with her? Did you talk every day several times, once a day, once or twice a week, or less??? These are all unknown to us and so we can not really advise properly. I am still having a problem hurdling the idea that you have been moving into a slave position for years (please respond and let us know if that is the scenario) and not in all of that time had the subject of sex came up nor been discussed? If this woman has a couple of lovers then she is a sexual being. It seems peculiar that she would not have discussed this at all with you in several years. Or had you talked about sex and she had just failed to volunteer this information? Had you ever asked if she was involved with others? I really hate to see people bashed all to hell with little to no information to go on. Have you asked her about her definition of slavery? Have you been attempting to wrap your brain around this woman that you love being sexually satisfied by others? Was this ever in any way a part of that child hood fantasy? Have you imagined yourself watching or being involved? Have you ever imagined watching? How do these things make you feel? Do you like or dislike the idea of a woman with several/many other men? I think the root and key to your problem is still in the definitions. These are very important factors that must be weighed in this decision. Some people fall in love more easily than others. What kind of person are you? Are you quick to fall in and out of love? Or is love a rare thing in your heart? If you are the latter then this is another piece of information that is imperative in its weight. If these are not things you have thought of it is past time. This should give you some things to think about to help you clarify your confusion. Curious over here as to if there is yet a light at the end of the confusion. The Guiding Goddess

sophia37 -> RE: Total Confusion (12/19/2006 5:31:56 AM)
I see my post will not be at the beginning of this thread. So I'll have to say Im answering the first post directly. I think the woman you formed your on-line relationship with has just fed you a line. Thats just way too hokey to say she'll put you in a chstity belt and lock you up forever. Right. Sure. It was easy to say and be whomever, when she didnt have to see you in person. But when the get real time comes close, suddenly its a whole diffeent ballgame. Sorry this happend to you. You're not the only one whos been taken for a ride like this.

theGuideGoddess -> RE: Total Confusion (12/19/2006 7:47:18 AM)
It isn’t any wonder there are so many ‘players’ found in the lifestyle! The fact that someone posts 4 sentences that does not give enough pertinent information to truly be informed and then the discussed party is immediately and without further response or information labeled as a player. Certainly it would be wise to label neither of them with no more than inexperience and poor communication. Anything more is speculation and name calling tainted by personalize experiences. IMHO not a good practice. Now this other individual may not be very responsible. Innerslave may have built a relationship based on his personal assumptions. Have we in our immediate labeling process given thought to the unknown: it is entirely possible that innerslave had orgasm denial and chastity as part of his profile desires when they originally met. Did he at sometime indicate to her that sex was not his foundational need in a relationship? There are such a myriad of quotients that go into the entire equation that unless innerslave gives more input we are left to merely speculate from unknown facts. I have had people cleave to me and claim close friendship when I personally would no more than call them a casual acquaintance. I have many men whom would love a personal relationship with me, some for 30+ years contacting me regularly. Some, in their minds do have a relationship with me. For most is no more than a one way street where they are allowed their treasured fantasies. Think first. Act second. Resist name calling and finger pointing unless you have achieved perfection personally. The Guiding Goddess

ramboslave -> RE: Total Confusion (12/19/2006 7:48:05 AM)
Innerslave! Hello, are you dead? Some of us are trying to help you here. Can you at least give us a sign that you still alive. Hope you did not try to hang yourself. I tried that once and the rope broke, I was worse after than before. (Joke) But seriously, Inner. The Guide Goddess has given you very profound reflecting material. I really like her wisdom. OH! Don't get me wrong, others have contributed great info to help you, but The Guide Goddess gives you something to build on. Like for instance: Did you ever ask this Lady that you love: What was her definition of slavery? You have to remember that you were kind of looking forward to be a slave and you did find her on a BDSM site. Like the Goddess said, not all Dominant women want to share every intimate aspect of their lives. I really don't think she cheated you, but that it more is a lack of communication on both parties involved rambo

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