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Gentle Reminder About Unsolicited Mail - 12/19/2006 3:32:53 AM

Voltare

Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline

This is an old argument, but it serves a good purpose in a reminder of netiquette. I don't write a lot of people, but as part of my voyeur experience, I like to browse the profiles. A lot of folks seem to get very irritated when they receive emails from individuals outside of their requested age/sex/weight/height/gender/interest/zodiacsign/numberoftoes. Instead of letting the 90% of unwanted emails drive you crazy, it helps to be thankful for the 10% (or even .001%) of emails you do get that are desired.

I'm 29 years old. If I was looking to start a dynamic, and I saw an interesting woman who only wanted mail from men 32-37, I would probably still write her. I wouldn't expect anything back, and honestly wouldn't be surprised if I even got a nasty note. Lots of people are disrespectful in their emails and expectations. Try chalking it up to the filthy, unwashed masses and leave it at that.

This has been a public service announcement from the Mr Friendly, the Smiling Sadist. Back to your regularly scheduled morning.

_____________________________

http://www.vv3b.com/

"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

Post #: 1

RE: Gentle Reminder About Unsolicited Mail - 12/19/2006 3:41:10 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

I try to respond to all emails sent to me..even if it's a yup or nope reply.

I get irritated at those that solicit me for domination when I clearly state what I'm about in my profile. But I'm nice- I just remind them that I'm married and not looking. It takes, like, two seconds.

I also don't do the yahoo thing nor go into private chat with strangers. But I'm asked.. and I just say no -AGAIN.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to Voltare)

Post #: 2

RE: Gentle Reminder About Unsolicited Mail - 12/19/2006 3:46:48 AM

catfood

Posts: 52
Joined: 11/30/2006
From: new jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

I try to respond to all emails sent to me..even if it's a yup or nope reply.

yup. ;)

_____________________________

constitutionally incapable of using the shift key...

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 3

RE: Gentle Reminder About Unsolicited Mail - 12/19/2006 4:06:47 AM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

I try to respond to all but have to admit i sometimes use the pre-written messages provided by CM. Some people hate recieving them and i have had messages of abuse about being bothered to write a reply etc etc. Sometimes though i just havent the time to write to everyone and it seems politer to send a pre-written than to ignore someone.
I don't tend to get irritated by mail people send me - i just try to laugh it off if they are rude or insulting. Since i have not really set any requests i dont find this to be an issue.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to Voltare)

Post #: 4

RE: Gentle Reminder About Unsolicited Mail - 12/19/2006 4:14:57 AM

Voltare

Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline

To be honest, I'm not advocating for anyone to write anyone back. Sure, it's nice to get a 'thanks, but no thanks' email if you write someone. It's reading this sort of profile that puzzles me:

NO MEN NO MEN NO MEN NO MEN
Hi. I'm new to this site.
I AM INVOLVED! CANT YOU SEE THAT?? DONT WRITE ME UNLESS YOU"RE A FEM SUB

----------

Journal: WHY DONT YOU GET IT? I"M NOT INTERESTED IN MEN!!!

That's pretty common, I think - but exchange the men thing for age, married, etc etc.

To be honest, I really don't personally care what people put in their profiles. I mention it more because it deters people you'd actually want email from writing. People with big, loud statements about what they hate aren't likely to get thoughtful messages. As a result, they wonder why the only emails they get are the canned cut & pasters, one line 'how are u 2day?' or 'show me ur tits.' - leading them to complain more, complain in the forums, and eventually leave the site with a bad taste in their mouths.

_____________________________

http://www.vv3b.com/

"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 5

RE: Gentle Reminder About Unsolicited Mail - 12/19/2006 4:17:24 AM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

I treat email like I do my own letterbox sitting out in the front yard. It's really easy to scan a few lines and see if its something I want to read, if it turns out to be junkmail(everyones trying to sell you something these days), I just throw it in the garbage with no emotional attachment, it not having effected me in the slightest. I really don't get all the concern that goes on over unwanted email...surely people are "masters" at what to do with junk mail RT....whats so different with email?

< Message edited by slavejali -- 12/19/2006 4:19:50 AM >

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 6

RE: Gentle Reminder About Unsolicited Mail - 12/19/2006 4:44:56 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

Voltare, you may be taking too many of those profiles seriously. Certainly, some of them are genuine and simply already involved in relationships and are simply sick of the overwhelming email. However, a discerning eye will reveal that a good portion of them are almost certainly not genuine, and are likely men (submissive men?) pretending to be women in hopes of manipulating a woman into an online relationship (reminds me of the old joke about being a lesbian trapped in a man's body).

The fact is that they're probably not fooling too many women, and it's likely that the "woman" they hook up with is also a guy pretending to be a woman, each thinking they've landed the real deal. I wonder what that realization would do to their erections as they cyber.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Voltare)

Post #: 7

RE: Gentle Reminder About Unsolicited Mail - 12/19/2006 5:25:07 AM

sophia37

Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline

I probably shouldnt say this. But I have to say it anyway. I put in my profile that I was searching in the say, 35-45 age bracket. And got back a reply from a 32 year old. Which I immediately disregarded. But the 32 yr old refused to be disregarded. Turns out in the end, its the 32 year old I wanted. Sometimes we need to push even our own boundries. And that realization came as a big suprise to me. So I see where you're coming from.

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 8

RE: Gentle Reminder About Unsolicited Mail - 12/19/2006 5:25:52 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

I try to respond to all but have to admit i sometimes use the pre-written messages provided by CM. Some people hate recieving them and i have had messages of abuse about being bothered to write a reply etc etc. Sometimes though i just havent the time to write to everyone and it seems politer to send a pre-written than to ignore someone.
I don't tend to get irritated by mail people send me - i just try to laugh it off if they are rude or insulting. Since i have not really set any requests i dont find this to be an issue.

You missed a step

Right after you send the Not interested, no thanks or the auto-reply created by CM you follow up with clicking the block & hide options.

You won't get a nasty reply (well unless they are some kinda nut & contact you from a 2nd account) & they won't show up on your screen again.

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 9

RE: Gentle Reminder About Unsolicited Mail - 12/19/2006 5:33:22 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

sophia37

I know exactly what you are talking about. I never for a second thought about considering a woman as a life partner/submissive but I have one now.

The only thing I have to say about search criteria & where you draw the line with someone is be darn sure that these are areas that you wholeheartedly know you don't care to explore. The two I stand firm on is
1) married & that even includes people who claim that their significant-other is ok with it
2) people from great distances... I truly believe that you need to see how the other person lives in order to really get to know them. You need to be able to visit their neighborhood, go to some of their favorite spots, etc. If they live far away it makes it really difficult to explore this about them. Someone would have to be pretty gosh darned perfect for me to break this rule.

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to sophia37)

Post #: 10

RE: Gentle Reminder About Unsolicited Mail - 12/19/2006 6:36:25 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

~quick reply~
Why do people get so upset over unsolicited mail? Do you actually answer every piece of junk mail that arrives at your house? I certainly don't. And I treat pm's that are silly the same way. My Dom likes to play with 'em sometimes.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 11

RE: Gentle Reminder About Unsolicited Mail - 12/19/2006 8:34:21 AM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

I also never have understood why people get so upset over messages from people who are not a match or obvious losers and scams. Delete and be done with it. Certainly for women on these sites no matter if you write every one back politely or just delete you are going to get plenty of hate messages. I cannot believe the two seconds and two clicks is so intrusive to a person that they feel the need to rant about it in their profile to the point of potentially turning off potential matches with a bad attitude.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 12

RE: Gentle Reminder About Unsolicited Mail - 12/19/2006 9:15:45 AM

cjklyn

Posts: 35
Joined: 11/9/2004
Status: offline

Before I email someone out of the blue, (whether on this site or elsewhere on the net), I always read what they' are looking for , and will usually only email if I fall within the boundaries they've set, although there are a few exceptions. I guess there are 2 types of things I look for. the Black/white yes/no sort of things. If someone states couple or female, no single males. I would never email them. If someone states subs only, again I won't email (I'm a dom). But if they state a range, lets say an age range, or height range. It would depend on the wording. If someone is so strict over age or height, it means something important to them, so I won't write unless, its just one condition out of many I meet, then I might write if I wasn't to far out of the range, ( if they say 35-45, I'm a young 49, I might write. But wouldnt if it said 20-30.). So in effect I've set my own rules/boundaries about when to email.
But, I don't expect an answer from ANY Email. I have to admit, it does slightly annoy and suprise me, that people don't reply, to genuinely sincere emails (which mine are). It's not as if an email saying thanks, but not thanks , takes an inordinate amount of time, but hey, it's not for me to judge or question others. I always reply to every single email I receive, usually within minutes or reading it, but hey, maybe I'm the one out of step. The WORSE for me, is when people do reply to an email, when you swap a few emails, or chat online for a while, then they just dissapear, without even a goodbye, to be honest thats what really windse me up.
the key to sanity online is just accept the online world for what it is. I continue to be much as I am in real life, honest, polite, courteous. Would be nice if everyone was.

(in reply to toservez)

Post #: 13

RE: Gentle Reminder About Unsolicited Mail - 12/19/2006 9:21:57 AM

Voltare

Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline

Rover, no question it happens. I'm not personally bothered by any of the activity, but rather thought I'd offer a tip to folks, as many wonder why they never get email from people they'd actually be interested in.

_____________________________

http://www.vv3b.com/

"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

(in reply to cjklyn)

Post #: 14

RE: Gentle Reminder About Unsolicited Mail - 12/20/2006 8:21:01 AM

pixelslave

Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Voltare

To be honest, I'm not advocating for anyone to write anyone back. Sure, it's nice to get a 'thanks, but no thanks' email if you write someone. It's reading this sort of profile that puzzles me:

NO MEN NO MEN NO MEN NO MEN
Hi. I'm new to this site.
I AM INVOLVED! CANT YOU SEE THAT?? DONT WRITE ME UNLESS YOU"RE A FEM SUB

----------

Journal: WHY DONT YOU GET IT? I"M NOT INTERESTED IN MEN!!!

That's pretty common, I think - but exchange the men thing for age, married, etc etc.

To be honest, I really don't personally care what people put in their profiles. I mention it more because it deters people you'd actually want email from writing. People with big, loud statements about what they hate aren't likely to get thoughtful messages. As a result, they wonder why the only emails they get are the canned cut & pasters, one line 'how are u 2day?' or 'show me ur tits.' - leading them to complain more, complain in the forums, and eventually leave the site with a bad taste in their mouths.

I agree 100%! These kinds of negative profiles are a huge turnoff to me! Its rare that I write to anyone that has a profile that is full of all the negative messages about who they don't want to have writing to them. It tells me they get too wound up about the little things in life and would probably be miserable to be around (let alone to try and please)!

- pixel

_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to Voltare)

Post #: 15

RE: Gentle Reminder About Unsolicited Mail - 12/20/2006 8:26:26 AM

cuddleheart50

Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

I write to anyone who I think is interesting, funny, sad, stupid, whatever strikes my fancy..hehehe...dont expect anything back at all....and I reply to all who write to me no matter if they are in my parrameters or not...

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.

(in reply to pixelslave)

Post #: 16

RE: Gentle Reminder About Unsolicited Mail - 12/20/2006 8:38:56 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

IMO- if a profile is too negative, people will move on.

I have a female friend that was bemoaning lack of dates,, so I redid her screen name and profile and with in a day she had a bite. You see the her I know was not in that blurb. She changed the password and maintains that profile. [this was on a site in Canada] but hey she is in the mall, so to speak.

An observation I see is that men are picky to the point of tuning out all females. If you are 44 a 19 yr old isnt going to jump into bed. Therefore is is pretty much ladies choice. No matter how big the males ego- there is usally 2-3 that can out do his expertise, so gentlemen, you have competetion.

To the ladies, men dont want to be remodled. If they always throw the socks on the floor chances are you are stuck. His momma put up with it, so must you.

To all, if you are over 25 you have baggage, be polite and brief, honest- then move on the positive sales pitch that sells the goods. [you]

There are a few men that forgot what x rated movies are, rediscover them if you are online to stroke.

I see the prepetual hopelessly singlite and potential mates every day. I wish it was easier.

To summarize per the OP, negative will beget negatives. [IMO]

-regards

(in reply to pixelslave)

Post #: 17

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