Orgasm denial (Full Version)

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Missokyst -> Orgasm denial (12/19/2006 10:18:19 AM)

Ok, I have got to admit I just don't get it.  I LOVE orgasms!  They are relaxing, they make me content, give me a sense of well being, and when provided by someone close, I feel I could walk to the ends of the earth for them if they asked.
Having that body to body contact, exchange of fluids, hot breath and sweat is like a drug that keeps me in willing to do almost anything to please him for a long time.
Lack of that pulsing, throbbing relief, for me, makes me irritable and unhappy. 

Last night the topic of orgasm control came up in one of my chat rooms.  I said.. I just don't understand that.  And lol.. about half the doms immediately said; "It is about control!  How is it submission if we are giving you orgasms for YOUR pleasure?  If you enjoy it, it isn't submission."

Well.. I have done plenty I didn't particularly enjoy because I was with someone who made me mindnumbingly happy in other areas.  And.. actually, doing those things, even though they were not enjoyable.. became enjoyable because I really needed to please that guy who brought me such physical relief. 

I have to wonder if there is a need to control orgasms because they have so much fear of unabandoned sexuality.

What are your thoughts?  Do you enjoy orgasm control and if so, why?  Have you been denied orgasms?  What does it bring you?
Kyst




PoeticPrincess -> RE: Orgasm denial (12/19/2006 10:25:11 AM)

Im totally with you on this Miss. It baffles me that men wish to be denied and to actually have their cocks encased in metal or glass covers in order to offer that denial as their gift. Apparently it makes the subsequent orgasm overwhelming... but how they keep their hats (or these devices) on beats me. The most angry I have ever been has been as a result of too long without sex, or physical contact at least.

I know there are some really good relationships between dominant women and their denied subs. The men will move mountains for their Doms and even see her cuckolding them. Perhaps I have too much sympathy for the Alpha Male to understand the dynamic. To be desired beyond sanity by my Alpha is what I live for.




MasterFireMaam -> RE: Orgasm denial (12/19/2006 10:41:40 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst
"...If you enjoy it, it isn't submission."


I'm betting that these people believe that if you enjoy your job, it's isn't "real" work, too. Some people don't get the concept that life is supposed to be FUN. I'm a happy camper that the lover I bottom to feels a sense of control giving me orgasms (and he's GOOD at it, too!). I get to lay back and enjoy while he does all these wonderful things to me...he enjoys watching me respond. That works for us.

But, some people are much more infuenced by denial. It's the whole "dangle the carrot" thing. A lot of people need that kind of goal to keep in the submissive headspace. I've seen that many men simply loose their submissive headspace once they have an orgasm, so denial works really well in order to help them maintain it. It sounds like it might be true for some women, too. That doesn't work for me; it'd actually harm me psychologically as a bottom and I see it as too much work on my part to keep up with as a Master. But it works for a LOT of people.

Master Fire




YourhandMyAss -> RE: Orgasm denial (12/19/2006 12:40:10 PM)

Miso I refuse to do orgasim denial because orgasm * and sexual enjoyment an sex* are hard enough and emotionally triggering neough with out the added experince of being horny an then having someone triffle with that. It's to sensitive and difficult an area, and my focos with my partner is to get me to be able to come and enjoymyself, org denial would mess that goal up.




MagiksSlave -> RE: Orgasm denial (12/19/2006 12:47:00 PM)

How is it submition if it makes you happy.

since when is beeing a sub/slave about suffering and unhappyness??

Magik's slave




hejira92 -> RE: Orgasm denial (12/19/2006 1:48:49 PM)

Master often says to me that he doesn't know which entertains him more- watching me cum or watching me NOT cum. Orgasm control reinforces my place- I am participating in sexual activity in the first place because it pleases Him. And control doesn't just mean denial- he often tells me to cum after I think I've cum as much as I can, and I have to reach for it.
 
When I was first learning about submission, I was like- nobody is going to tell me not to cum. I had always been proud of the fact that I was responsible for my own orgasms. But as I let go and learned to trust and learned the freedom and beauty in being controlled and owned, I gave this aspect of myself, along with everything else, to my Master. Pleasing Him is so much more fulfilling than getting an extra orgasm or two. I guess it's a spiritual fulfillment rather than just physical.
 
 
 




thompsonx -> RE: Orgasm denial (12/20/2006 2:43:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hejira92

Master often says to me that he doesn't know which entertains him more- watching me cum or watching me NOT cum. Orgasm control reinforces my place- I am participating in sexual activity in the first place because it pleases Him. And control doesn't just mean denial- he often tells me to cum after I think I've cum as much as I can, and I have to reach for it.
 
When I was first learning about submission, I was like- nobody is going to tell me not to cum. I had always been proud of the fact that I was responsible for my own orgasms. But as I let go and learned to trust and learned the freedom and beauty in being controlled and owned, I gave this aspect of myself, along with everything else, to my Master. Pleasing Him is so much more fulfilling than getting an extra orgasm or two. I guess it's a spiritual fulfillment rather than just physical.
 
 
 



hejira92:
To each his or her own but for myself if I want spirituality I will go to church.  When it comes to sex the more orgasims the better[:D].
thompson




hejira92 -> RE: Orgasm denial (12/20/2006 4:48:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: thompsonx


To each his or her own but for myself if I want spirituality I will go to church.  When it comes to sex the more orgasims the better[:D].
thompson


Oh, please. I'm not talking false god let's-pray-to-the-statue spirituality. I'm talking the fulfillment a sub gets from knowing she has pleased her Master. When I see the gleam in His eye as He watches me struggle not to cum as He's doing something He KNOWS is sending me over the top......it is soooo worth not cumming. That is what feeds my soul.




Nexo -> RE: Orgasm denial (12/21/2006 7:33:14 AM)

Very nicely worded...you express yourself well.

I was trained in orgasm denial by a cyber-Dom I once served, and it taught me a lot about myself. It pushed me to exercise my will power, especially since we played on the honor system and I wasn't placed in any sort of chastity device. Learning how to exercise my will that way has carried over into my everyday life.

I was teased and denied for years, and it actually got easier as the months passed. I noticed a pattern of breakdown and surrender each time...the first few days were the most difficult when being teased right to the edge of climax then denied. Afterwards I would go through a stage of irritation and sleep deprivation as my body awakened me at all hours of the night begging for relief. Then a natural high ensued, and my central nervous system buzzed with energy. After about 7 to 10 days my body would begin to surrender, and the denial became easier to accept. At about two weeks sex didn't matter anymore, as my body had entirely relinquished itself to my Mistress and wasn't expecting to receive an orgasm.

From that point on it became easy to withold, and the challenge was to actually let go and accept an orgasm when it was finally permitted. It would be difficult to ejaculate the first couple times as my body readjusted. These orgasms were more release than enjoyment for me...it usually took a couple days worth of ejaculating for pleasurable orgasms to return, then Mistress would start the cycle all over again.

Sometimes she'd tease and deny me for about a month, but the most effective amount of time to keep me high and on edge was to let me ejaculate for a few days every two weeks or so.

It's obviously not for everybody, but I personally find orgasm control, teasing & denial, and chastity to be hot hot HOT.

Just my 2 cents,
Nexo





Sardaxia -> RE: Orgasm denial (12/22/2006 3:21:26 PM)

Strange this is in the humour section, though I hope at least one of the parties practising Orgasm Denial gets a (cruel) laugh out of it. I'm just about to try a chastity device for the first time that I've actually bought quite some time ago but have never used. After a trial (sleepless & painful night- locked it too tight!) I took it off but I gave the keys to my partner so I could lock it on again in my own time. Luckily I didn't have the balls (pun intended) because that was a month ago and she only remembered where the keys were two days ago! I will take the plunge and I think the idea of having the key visable on the key holders person (i.e on a chain or braclet) is important as the psychology of the power the have over you is obviously important (and I know I won't be for ever locked hopefully!) It will be interesting to see how long before I'm set free too...better behave.




ShreveportMaster -> RE: Orgasm denial (12/24/2006 11:58:23 PM)

Personally I practice orgasm control just the oppossite, to train a slave to cum whenever You desire (and wherever You desire) is a delicious method of control. Once it has been acomplished, You can have much enjoyment (especially if the slave happens to be rather noisy when cumming) triggering her in checkout lines, etc. girls can easily become addicted to these experiences, and in certain girls, it can reach a point where it is exceedingly difficult for them to cum without Your active involvement/approval. The more often You have Your girl cum, the more she will respond, it's like a positive feedback loop. I completely don't get denial, except for a short time, as punishment.

                                                             I wish you well,
                                                                                    Shreve




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