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What men wish women would tell them.. and WHEN to tell them


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What men wish women would tell them.. and WHEN to tell ... - 12/19/2006 2:15:54 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		Women would LOVE to tell men what they need.  A lot of times, the women don't even know themselves.  So here we sit (figuratively speaking) waiting for the other one to take us to heaven and neither one knows how to get there and each not knowing when to ask/tell the other person.  None of us are born knowing these things.  Instinct can only get you in the proximity.  One of the wonderful things about D/s is the explorations of things :)
 
I have realized that it APPEARS THAT most of us got our education by watching the overacting on the porns or kissing pillows at slumber parties.
 
So in this thread- I'd like both sides to  share what they would LIKE to know/understand and when it would be the best time to approach the topic.  Such as..if someone is a lousy kisser.. would you take offense if someone  were to  mention a way they would like to be kissed?  If you are giving head.. would you be upset if the person  gently stops you and explains what is working and not?
 
It would be a wonderful holiday gift :) So, Dom/Dommes . how can your sub help and would you take offence?  
 
The same for the Subs.. but then..they expect to be given direction.
 

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 12/19/2006 2:47:51 PM >

_____________________________

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RE: What men wish women would tell them.. and WHEN to t... - 12/19/2006 2:31:20 PM   
PONYSEEKER


Posts: 364
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		Actually I prefer it if a woman speaks out and says something like ... kiss me like this kind of thing and it really ticks me off that woman dont do that. The best time to talk about it I think is durring conversation times and if we are talking about a particular session.  To me feedback is a good thing and I hate it when I am going at it with a woman in a session that I think is great but its not really doing it for her and she never says anything... I really hate that.  As far as things I like to know... well I guess what tiks me off is when I am talking to a sub and the sub cant explain to me the base things that need to feel fullfilled. Like for example if a woman really likes to get fisted and I dont know it then she might not get fisted as often as she likes for example. So If there are hard limits than I figure there must be a mirror to it like must haves. 

(in reply to LotusSong)
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RE: What men wish women would tell them.. and WHEN to t... - 12/19/2006 2:31:20 PM   
Michaelat92544


Posts: 52
Joined: 8/21/2005
Status: offline 		It's not what men wish women to tell them. It's women being as voracious as a man. "I'm the one with the penis and you are not."

Michael

(in reply to LotusSong)
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RE: What men wish women would tell them.. and WHEN to t... - 12/19/2006 2:45:23 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		I have experienced circumstances were the guy would just bout swallow my face in an attempt to kiss.  After the first couple of times, I realized that it wasn't an accident.  I just held my finger to his lips, and told him gently.. try this..just let me show you..  I'll interrupt right in the middle of an act that isn't "working for me".  BUT I do it with the knowledge that I KNOW what to tell him...
 
I remember the fist time I was French kissed. (this story will make you all go awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww :)  I drew my tongue so far to the back of my throat he pulled away and very perpexed..he asked "don't you like me?"  I said "I've just never been kissed before".  He showed me then :)  A very gentle tip of the tongue caress on my tip of my tongue,,then other variations, I have shared this knowledge with joy and enthusiasm since then :)

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 12/19/2006 3:14:11 PM >

_____________________________

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I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


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RE: What men wish women would tell them.. and WHEN to t... - 12/19/2006 2:55:57 PM   
mbes


Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline 		While I wouldn't object to someone speaking up, I'd much rather hear what they WOULD like me to do, than what I do that they DON'T like.
If I get positive response when I get it right, believe me, I'm going to do it that way again.

(in reply to LotusSong)
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RE: What men wish women would tell them.. and WHEN to t... - 12/19/2006 4:07:34 PM   
diamonddreamlove


Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		I love performing a bj but have tmj a jaw joint disorder.  I absolutely hate being pulled around where i have to fear not only the dislocation of my jaw joint but that i may lose the ability to keep from hurting my partner.  Smiles~dont think that would be a happy ending to an energetic meeting at all.  Best time to disclose this information is to say it early in the relationship so that no one gets hurt unintentionally lol.

< Message edited by diamonddreamlove -- 12/19/2006 4:09:10 PM >

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RE: What men wish women would tell them.. and WHEN to t... - 12/19/2006 4:43:56 PM   
sophia37


Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline 		The only way to learn is when someone tells you what they like or dont like. We tend to talk about it afterwards not during.

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RE: What men wish women would tell them.. and WHEN to t... - 12/19/2006 4:52:41 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Michaelat92544

It's not what men wish women to tell them. It's women being as voracious as a man. "I'm the one with the penis and you are not."

Michael
I'm kind of lost as to what you mean.. are you saying  the woman isn't enthusiastic enough?

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


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RE: What men wish women would tell them.. and WHEN to t... - 12/19/2006 4:57:00 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		I can be killed for this, so I cannot reveal my true identity, but it is convienient that Ron doesn't airtight security on his computer----

Here goes:

Don't go grocery shopping when you are hungry.  Your eyes are way bigger than your stomach.

When men have just had some world class head, they don't feel like killing anyone for a few minutes afterword, so this would be a good time for you to ask calm but insightful questions.


Barrabas


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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: What men wish women would tell them.. and WHEN to t... - 12/19/2006 5:02:09 PM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

When men have just had some world class head, they don't feel like killing anyone for a few minutes afterword, so this would be a good time for you to ask calm but insightful questions.

Barrabas


ROFL .. you are a hoot mnottertail. 

(in reply to mnottertail)
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RE: What men wish women would tell them.. and WHEN to t... - 12/19/2006 5:07:22 PM   
MmakeMme


Posts: 682
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NC
Status: offline 		Yah, he's a stitch.

(And usually right too.)

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RE: What men wish women would tell them.. and WHEN to t... - 12/19/2006 6:48:32 PM   
ThinkingKitten


Posts: 447
Joined: 6/15/2006
From: Ontari-ari-o
Status: offline 		My my Barrabas, what big eyes you have! LOL!
 
Insightful as usual ... trouble is that from a sub standpoint when he's all stretched back and off in happy la-la land for those few minutes I just don't want to risk disturbing the peace, of bursting that glowing bubble of euphoria.... it would seem such a shame!

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Thinking Kitten

If you can't stand the heat... tell the chef to get out of the kitchen.

(in reply to mnottertail)
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RE: What men wish women would tell them.. and WHEN to t... - 12/19/2006 6:59:17 PM   
LTRsubNW


Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline 		(Where my damn keys are)

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Small deeds will always mean more than large intentions.

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RE: What men wish women would tell them.. and WHEN to t... - 12/19/2006 7:05:24 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I have to dance very carefully around the line between giving direction and insulting. Angel is very new, and being very new to most things... he is understandably not quite talented.  I am working on figuring out how exactly to tell him what I want, preferably without having to demonstrate, so that we can both enjoy.  I do wish, however, that he would tell me when he was uncomfortable doing something I had asked of him (sexually or not) BEFORE he completed it, ratehr than doing it so that he doesnt disappoint me and then afterwards tell me that he really wasnt comfortable trying it.

DV

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I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

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VampiresLair

(in reply to LTRsubNW)
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RE: What men wish women would tell them.. and WHEN to t... - 12/19/2006 7:31:53 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		See my bit on grocery shopping, that should cover that.  Ain't gonna happen till after. Deal with it, it is what it is---

Take you a glass of water;
make it agin the law;
see how good that water taste;
when you cain't have any a'tall............

Commotion CCR


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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: What men wish women would tell them.. and WHEN to t... - 12/19/2006 7:35:49 PM   
Devilslilsister


Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		As for him suggesting what he would like different.... well he pretty much just leads as it is.  He gives - i recieve / he takes - i give.  He leads/i follow.  He leads pretty well so i havent any suggestions and he wants something he makes it happen. 


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My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

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RE: What men wish women would tell them.. and WHEN to t... - 12/19/2006 8:00:15 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I asked my sub what turned him on and I experimented with variations of what he told me. I also found some new turnon's he never knew that he had because I'm very open and aggressive in the bedroom. I am almost always willing to try new things as long as they don't go against my/his limits. I've never had the problem of speaking up and saying what I wanted and how I wanted it. Some men didn't mind it, some seemed taken aback but complied.

Sex is a big part of who I am and why should I waste that on bad sex, when I can have good sex by communicating with my partner. Showing/telling him what it is I want and vice versa. Both of us are happy and we are constantly striving to make things hotter and expand both our horizons. Isn't that what its all about?

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to LotusSong)
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RE: What men wish women would tell them.. and WHEN to t... - 12/19/2006 8:03:58 PM   
MsBearlee


Posts: 1032
Joined: 2/15/2006
Status: offline 		 <sigh>  Long before I discovered WIITWD...I'd been dating a fellow for about 3 months...and we were still chast!  Soooooo... I took matters into my own hands, and...while he sat in my overstuffed chair, proceeded to unbuckle his pants and have my way with him.
 
When he came, I swallowed and continued to hold him in my mouth a bit.  When I swallowed again, and moved up to look into his eyes and tell him how much I enjoyed that experience…
 
He proceeded to stand up, dump me on the rug, pace the floor and bemoan the fact that I had, in fact swallowed and  encouraged me to get right up and ‘go brush your teeth or something!”.
 
Yup…there is a right time and a wrong time to tell your preferences…
 
<sigh>

(in reply to mnottertail)
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RE: What men wish women would tell them.. and WHEN to t... - 12/19/2006 8:12:14 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		3 months?  You suck off a fag and don't expect an unexpected reaction?  Is it any wonder why women fake orgasm?

You guys had like priests come in and take you outta class (to tell you about girl things) when the rest of us had to look at the tv and the fuckwad that explained grackle mating to us for 6 weeks...........

What did those bastards tell you anyway?

Ron

Jesus Christ!!! they killed Kenny, those Bastards!!!


< Message edited by mnottertail -- 12/19/2006 8:14:35 PM >

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: What men wish women would tell them.. and WHEN to t... - 12/19/2006 8:12:38 PM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail
When men have just had some world class head, they don't feel like killing anyone for a few minutes afterword, so this would be a good time for you to ask calm but insightful questions.


So what you're saying is that she should wait till after she's given you a blowjob to ask you if her ass looks fat in those pants?

(in reply to mnottertail)
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