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slavedesires -> RE: Doormats? (2/27/2005 11:06:00 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: urminenow
2. (figurative) A person who is habitually abused, taken
advantage of or humiliated; sometimes, one who is
physically weak; as, they used him for a doormat.
Those of us who choose to be a doormat kind of change Webster's meaning.. in some cases, it benefits us..[8D]
In a forum such as on Collarme, the use of the word "doormats" is taken in the context of generalized BDSM definitions/termology.
As a general submissive type of personality, all my life, i agree with many of the definitions already given ...lack of respect for one's self, low self esteem ...but how does one (anyone) get to this point?
urminenow i think, in my opinion, has given a realistic answer. A person who is habitually abused (emotionally, psychologically, physically, mentally), taken advantage of and humiliated because they are weak (emotionally, psychologically, physically, sexually, mentally) and allows themselves to be for some deep inner need or lack of "something" (of course this is different for every person).
i can tell you that i developed a passive reactionary aggressive approach to life in general cause i was deemed vulnerable to those in authority in my life, so allowing their "use" was taken advantge of. But when i became aware... and that is the key (IMHO) ... it was my chice to do something about who i was and would become.
Doormats or vulnerable human beings (i shall use that as my woking definition right now) are not only in this "lifestyle" but are also everywhere.
One can choose to continue to be vulnerable or they can choose to do something about it.
The choice is a personal one depending on awareness and need to change.
i work with medically vulnerable children and their families.
i know vulnerable people who choose to stay vulnerable and yes it frustrates me.
i am also a recovereing vulnerable person and it still frustrates me when i am a doormat and realize it only later.
If, within this lifestyle, doormat means i blindly obey only because Master requires that i trust and obey without question, then yes, i am a doormat.
i confess, obedience is a long process of bending to one's will no matter what the cost and for anyone to admit that it is easy, IMHO, is just not willing to admit they have a will of their own. i choose to make my will His will and so often i fail and taste the dust of bitterness, but it is how i get up and walk again that makes the difference.
Is this not true of teacher/student? Employer/employee? Mother~Father/child? Friend/friend? Abuser/victom? Medical system/patient? well, any relationship?
just my thoughts on doormats today.
shy
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