Too cynical

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Too cynical

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Too cynical

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Too cynical - 12/21/2006 7:47:01 PM

sublizzie

Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline

I know this has probably been discussed to death but I'm curious about current posters comments.....

Is it possible to be so cynical about the veracity of people who contact you that you actually drive away the ones you'd like to get to know?

I don't have a lot of people contacting me so I try to answer most of them but I tend to look at all of them with a very jaundiced eye. I'm not sure if I'm assuming that some people are inappropriate matches for me because they truly are or if I'm jumping to inappropriate conclusions due to bad experiences.

I am, by nature, an honest, accepting person. I tend to believe the best of everyone until I'm proven wrong. But I've also been burned badly enough that I'm not as open and accepting of people who contact me anymore.

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Too cynical - 12/21/2006 7:53:35 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sublizzie
Is it possible to be so cynical about the veracity of people who contact you that you actually drive away the ones you'd like to get to know?

It's as bad to make decisions based on burned feelings as it is to make them blindly.

Because inside you, there is a little one who longs to be touched and caressed- and a smooth talker will be able to wind their way past all your little "walls" and leave you just as damaged as before.

Make a decision based on strength and wisdom- based on understanding and perspective. If you're feelings are too raw, it's not the time to seek anyway.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to sublizzie)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Too cynical - 12/21/2006 7:53:45 PM

diamonddreamlove

Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline

Cant be open and accepting if you close them out before they get a chance to know you. Guess you have to decided if you want to live and take a chance or be wrapped in a cocoon and be safe. I tried living and found my Master here. Yep there were several false alarms but was worth it to find Him.

_____________________________

"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

(in reply to sublizzie)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Too cynical - 12/21/2006 8:00:31 PM

MaryT

Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sublizzie
Is it possible to be so cynical about the veracity of people who contact you that you actually drive away the ones you'd like to get to know?

Yes. Take a look at my profile.

I am not worried that I'll miss some knight in shining armor. There are a lot of people in the world, and I just don't have the energy to plough through all the initial stuff with everyone who wants to play.

MaryT

(in reply to sublizzie)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Too cynical - 12/21/2006 9:56:19 PM

acctonthelook

Posts: 245
Joined: 3/28/2006
Status: offline

Thanks LA,

i've been going through some hard times and this post helped me a great deal. the smooth talker did come, disturb my world, but i took it back and trying to move on. TY for always being out there with great wisdom and advice! You always reach out to others and I for one appreciate it!

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
It's as bad to make decisions based on burned feelings as it is to make them blindly.

Because inside you, there is a little one who longs to be touched and caressed- and a smooth talker will be able to wind their way past all your little "walls" and leave you just as damaged as before.

Make a decision based on strength and wisdom- based on understanding and perspective. If you're feelings are too raw, it's not the time to seek anyway.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Too cynical - 12/21/2006 11:41:44 PM

IvyP

Posts: 43
Joined: 10/28/2006
Status: offline

just look at the ratio, my dear

(in reply to acctonthelook)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Too cynical - 12/22/2006 4:27:18 AM

sublizzie

Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline

For myself, "looking at the ratio" is how I've become as cynical as I have. I don't like feeling that I have to examine everything every person says to me and trying to figure out if they're really male/female, if they're just looking for wanking material but are wise enough not to act like a "normal" wanker or HNG, if they're married looking for something on the side, and all of the other issues that make building a real-time, long-term, viable relationship improbable.

(in reply to IvyP)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Too cynical - 12/23/2006 11:51:12 PM

NaiveTempest

Posts: 345
Joined: 11/20/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

Sometimes I wonder this myself. But in the end all I can do is be myself and go with my judgements. I generally try to answer most of the emails sent my way, unless they're of the "let's get together for some fun/what's it take to get you off/I can't wait to get you to suck me/etc" variety. By two or so emails, you can generally tell if you click with that person or if there is nothing there. By "click" I don't mean that they are "the one" just that they might be someone that could become a friend or aquaintance. Basically in the end all you can do is go with your gut feeling and once you make that dicision accept that possibly you made the wrong one. After all, how likely is it that five years from now the prefect one for you is going to come up to you and say, "Yeah, I emailed you on CM once but you didn't reply (or you blew me off), so I found someone else and I'm really happy now."?

(in reply to sublizzie)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Too cynical - 12/24/2006 3:27:55 AM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NaiveTempest

After all, how likely is it that five years from now the prefect one for you is going to come up to you and say, "Yeah, I emailed you on CM once but you didn't reply (or you blew me off)...

Y'know, that's kind of what happened to me - except that I met him initially in person at a munch (not planned - he was just there and so was I) and when it appeared his interests were elsewhere, I blew him off and walked away. Never forgot him though. Always kept an eye out for him when I'd go places like munches and events. Saw him once, but he had someone with him, so I didn't approach.

Two years later we met again. He never even looked at me and could describe right down to my earrings what I'd had on the night we met two years prior. As he turned around, I realized he was the person I'd blown off back then, and that I remembered every single thing about the night we first met - and that he was absolutely right about what I'd been wearing. (I NEVER keep track of those things, but for some reason, I remembered that night.)

We've been together for three years now and are well into our fourth year.

It can happen.

I do have a release date though. He said he's going to release me on my birthday...

...when I'm 102

That way, I can go rob all the cradles of the 80 year old men and have my way with them. That's ok though, cause he'll be 111. I told him he has to stick around. I'm not in this for any one decade stand y'know.

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 12/24/2006 4:11:19 AM >

(in reply to NaiveTempest)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Too cynical - 12/24/2006 3:37:26 AM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

Very positive story to read :-)

(in reply to julietsierra)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: Too cynical - 12/24/2006 4:17:44 AM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

It's as bad to make decisions based on burned feelings as it is to make them blindly.

Because inside you, there is a little one who longs to be touched and caressed- and a smooth talker will be able to wind their way past all your little "walls" and leave you just as damaged as before.

Make a decision based on strength and wisdom- based on understanding and perspective. If you're feelings are too raw, it's not the time to seek anyway.

This is very good advice and stepped back myself when i was too "raw" to make a decision based on strength and wisdom.

To sublizzie

i also changed my profile...to almost no personal info and picture by request only. While i still received more inquiries than i thought i would, 90% of them were were at least one if not two decent paragraphs of information about themselves that was NOT based on info i had already put out there. During subsequent e-mails, i was able to narrow down the most compatible. Even at that stage, i used more discretion than in the past until the Master i now serve began to stand out from the rest. This is just something that worked for me...

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 11