24/7 slavery (Full Version)

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birdie7015 -> 24/7 slavery (12/22/2006 6:08:06 AM)

I am at the stage when a face to face meeting is about to take place but now I am getting cold feet.  Is this normal?  The problem is that although the 24/7 real slave situation will be in my country the interview is going to be in another european country as the mistress will not be residing here until March.
 
We have briefly discussed issues but not in any great detail and she is very loath to give me the information I need.  I am now getting really cold feet at spending a total of £350 on something that isn't at least got good prospects of happening.
 
The issues concerning me is that the following issues have not been discussed as yet:
 
How will I be treated
Will I be able to maintain family connections and visits
I have a pet and can he still be accommodated
Will I still be managing my own purse as I do have family responsibilities and also to my pet.
 
These are the sort of question I believe should have been discussed and the face to face meeting should be used to tidy up the loose ends.
 
Perhaps I'm wrong in expecting these things.  Another thing that is bothering me is that when she inflicts mental chastisement on me and I apologise, I never get the compassion of forgiveness from her and that then turns it into a believe it is called mental torture.  I find that my emotional makeup cannot accommodate this and it is now disturbing my sleep at night.
 
HELP!!!!!



GrizzlyBear -> RE: 24/7 slavery (12/22/2006 6:35:40 AM)

If she won't communicate to you about your expressed needs now, why would she do so once she has you at her mercy?  If you are uneasy about this, trust your gut.  I think you have good reasons to be hesitant.

If she is moving to your country in March, perhaps this meeting should wait till then at least.  If she is pressuring you into an expensive meeting immediately, perhaps there are other reasons for her behavior.  Or, perhaps, she wants you to demonstrate that you are desperate and can afford to finance her whims.  She wouldn't be the first to desire that.

Time is on your side here.  Her reaction to a decision to go a bit more slowly should give some insight into her character.  Do you want to be owned by a noble Mistress, who views her property as something of value that needs to be properly kept and cared for, or do you want to be owned by a cold-hearted bitch that cares nothing for your welfare but only wants to exploit you?    Certainly there are some who prefer each type.  Examine your own needs, and choose your owner wisely.

Good luck.



onestandingstill -> RE: 24/7 slavery (12/22/2006 6:41:14 AM)

Hi birdie,
I personally would not go if she couldn't answer your living arrangement questions.
I also think if you're already uncomfortable with the level of compassion you're seeing her exhibit it would not be something I'd recommend.
Trust your gut and don't go if you have these strong negative feelings about going.
If you're uncomfortable now and thinking she;s emotionally abusive to you how much worse can it potentially get once she has full control?
suzanne



ShiftedJewel -> RE: 24/7 slavery (12/22/2006 6:52:46 AM)

Absolutely... I agree, trust your instincts. If she is worth her salt then she'll be willing to wait as well. Communication is so important in all relationships and at this point she doesn't seem willing to talk about some of you concerns... and they are legitimate concerns that really DO need to be talked about. I say hold your ground and save the money for something else.
 
Jewel



Archer -> RE: 24/7 slavery (12/22/2006 7:09:23 AM)

Don't expect anything to change in the way someone communicates, treats you, holds or gives information.
If communication is weak to begin with, expect it to get even weaker, (general trend is for it to be great at first and then fall back to good)




Heinz -> RE: 24/7 slavery (12/22/2006 7:25:30 AM)

If their is no trust , then stop this relation.

Heinz



afeathr -> RE: 24/7 slavery (12/22/2006 8:21:10 AM)

I agree with the others - if there are unanswered questions then those questions need to be answered before any meeting takes place.

If she is "loathe" to give any details then save you money until she is willing to talk.

It's not the end of the world if you have to wait a few months to meet.

You are *not* wrong to expect to know how your life will be altered in this relationship.  Being a sub/slave is a choice on your behalf - if things are not going to be to your satisfaction, then you need to reconsider the relationship.

(edited to make myself more clear)



diamonddreamlove -> RE: 24/7 slavery (12/22/2006 8:35:26 AM)

I understand cold feet but think this is more than that.  Trust does not seem evident and i would not meet someone i had this much distrust for.  Also it sounds like you are one that needs compassion and it does not sound like the Mistress in question has that ability to give it.  Perhaps i am wrong but when we consider this is a life decisions and you do have others to consider perhaps waiting and meeting her when she moves to your country is a better idea.  Get to know her better and if the communication and trust do not happen i would recommend reconsideration of joining her as a slave.  Remember as slave you are giving your all within certain perimeters and she is not even discussing those with you now which is the negotiation period.  Slow things down and if she is unhappy perhaps it will be for the best that you learn what she is truly like now.  Best wishes.



MasterFireMaam -> RE: 24/7 slavery (12/22/2006 11:56:30 AM)

If you are uncomfortable with the situation in any way, don't go. Talk to her about it. If she is unwilling to explain what will happen and calm your fears, she's not the match for you.

Master Fire



birdie7015 -> RE: 24/7 slavery (12/22/2006 12:31:52 PM)

I would like to thank everyone for their messages and it seems that the dominant in this case is not being supported at all.  On the other hand everyone has not read all the correspondence relating to it but I have as far as I am aware I have been honest about my worries.
 
I would really like to try and save it before writing it off totally.  I believe she is geniune and can be caring but she doesn't seem to grasp my end of it and has done nothing to relieve the worries I have, even though I have asked her to give my emotions some consideration. 
 
I love the comments and I don't quite know how this will end up.  It's difficult to find a vanilla partner these days so why I should I be surprised that there is difficulty in finding a match in the bdsm lifestyle.
 
I am now wondering if I should just spend the money and go and see if a face to face can resolve the issue.  I would have preferred more correspondence but I think there has been so much damage done that only a face to face could repair the damage.  I haven't decided yet.
 
Thanks again everyone.



hejira92 -> RE: 24/7 slavery (12/22/2006 12:44:36 PM)

I realize you have put a lot of time an emotional energy into this already and feel you don't want to waste it by just ending it now, but, please, be very, very careful. As many have said above me, the relationship will continue as it starts. If you sense a red flag- 9.9 times out of 10 your gut is correct.
 
If you do go, and I don't think you can be stopped, I would recommend writing all your concerns and questions down. We tend to forget the specific issues in the excitment of the moment.
 
But don't invest your emotions too heavily- be prepared to say no if those red flags are not addressed.
 
Good luck and take care.



birdie7015 -> RE: 24/7 slavery (12/23/2006 4:35:24 PM)

Well as it turned out in the end it wasn't possible for me to go.  I did get over my cold feet problem and in the end was looking forward to going.  However then when I said I would she told me not to bother.  Great, so I cancelled the flight and lost £60 in the process.  Obviously I was a bit upset over this having got over my fright only to be told I wasn't to visit.
 
I have discussed this with a couple of domme friends and I think the general opinion is that it wasn't me that freaked out but her.  They thought it quite bad of her to allow me to lose that amount of money when she knew I was supported by the state.  They have both concluded that she had a change of plan where I am concerned and didn't like to tell me.
 
Well I have always thought she was very straight with me but it does seem an awful thing to do knowing the flight had been paid for.  She has said that we may be able to meet after she moves to the UK in March.  Whether that will happen though we will just have to wait and see.  It just seems an awful lot of work to have put in in building up a relationship even online just to throw it away because a few feeling I had in cold feet.  I did get over them but well, what can I say?



Wanderlusty -> RE: 24/7 slavery (12/24/2006 1:03:08 PM)

Find yourself another dom. She sounds arrogent and selfish. run away.



sicily -> RE: 24/7 slavery (4/27/2007 9:37:09 AM)

maybe its not the right place to ask, but do Y/you think that a 24/7 relation with a disabled person is possible ?
Are there Doms or subs who have such a relation, and what is their experience ?



NakedGirlScout -> RE: 24/7 slavery (4/27/2007 9:57:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sicily

maybe its not the right place to ask, but do Y/you think that a 24/7 relation with a disabled person is possible ?
Are there Doms or subs who have such a relation, and what is their experience ?


I think this belongs in an entirely new thread, but yes I am in a 24/7 relationship as slave to a master who is disabled, and although it interferes in the normal ways of doing things it doesn't interfere with my being his slave and perfectly happy together.



RavenMuse -> RE: 24/7 slavery (4/27/2007 10:01:08 AM)

RED FLAG!

Got your attention yet? The situation is moving too fast given the distance and lack of communication. Too many BIG issues that should have at least been touched on for ANYONE to go jaunting off to another country on the back of.

Your ass on the line, your choise to risk it. I however do NOT recomend doing so, not till a lot more communication has taken place.



RavenMuse -> RE: 24/7 slavery (4/27/2007 10:05:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sicily

maybe its not the right place to ask, but do Y/you think that a 24/7 relation with a disabled person is possible ?
Are there Doms or subs who have such a relation, and what is their experience ?


24/7 with a disabled Master? I AM a disabled Master, have been registered as disabled for the last 15 years, It wasn't My disability nor the Dynamic that brought an end to the 10 year live in TPE 24/7 that I married during that time, wasn't the disability that ment My last attempt to get something going with a young lady last year didn't quite work dispite having much benifit to us both..... isn't an Issue with the wonderful young lady I now Own that I've been building toward 24/7 since the beginning of the year.

It is no more a problem than any other limitation real life hits You with, You adjust, manage and control to minimise any negative impact it has.

Next question?



imthatacheyouhav -> RE: 24/7 slavery (4/27/2007 10:11:56 AM)

quote:

she doesn't seem to grasp my end of it and has done nothing to relieve the worries I have, even though I have asked her to give my emotions some consideration.

HUGE red flag...actually a deal breaker  in my opinion only........



SirDominic -> RE: 24/7 slavery (4/27/2007 10:15:32 AM)

Proving, yet again, that getting to "know" each other over the internet is an exercise in futility more often than not. You are very lucky she told you not to come, and are only out £60.

If you learn from the experience, that was £60 well spent.

Namaste, Sir Dominic



littleone35 -> RE: 24/7 slavery (4/27/2007 1:11:46 PM)

I feel bad she did that to you.  At least it happened before you got more emotionally imvolved.  I think you should not speak to her again even if she does come to the UK.  She proved that she is not to be trusted.

Matt's littleone



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