SirDiscipliner69
Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
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Number One Idiot of 2006
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in
toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman
called in very upset because she caught her little
daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants
are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and
at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she
gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill
the ants. I told her that she better bring g her daughter
into the emergency room right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
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Number Two Idiot of 2006
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided
To steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were
successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly
after they took it for a float on the river, they
noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It
turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency
locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might
run.
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; Number Three Idiot of 2006
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into
The Branch and wrote this. "Put all your muny in this bag."
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the
teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and
might call the police before he reached the teller's window.
So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the
Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to
the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors
that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could
not
accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit
slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip
or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said,
"OK" and left. He
was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of
America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
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Number Four Idiot of 2006
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that;
Measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.
He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car.
Instead
of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days
later, he received a letter from the
police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs.
He immediately mailed in his $40.
Wise guy........ but you still get a sign
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Number Five Idiot of 2006
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put
the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he
wanted behind the counter on the shelf.
He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the
cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21."
The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give
it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the
robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave
it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over er and agreed that
the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber
then
ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly
called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got
off the license.They
arrested the robber two hours later. This guy definitely needs a sign.
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Idiot Number Six of 2006
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers.
The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled
first bandit shot him. This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
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Idiot Number Seven of 2006
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
he'd
just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze,
and
run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the
window. The
cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor
store
window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.
Yep, Here's your sign
(Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote)
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IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the
Local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer
Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!
I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
From Kingman , KS .
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IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked
the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said
he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. He was a Chef?
Yep...From Kansas City !
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IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
asked,
"Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
knowledge? To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how
would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to cross
the Street I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of
mine.
She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals
blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people Doing driving?!"
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS
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IDIOT SIGHTING:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the
company due to" downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is
fun. We should do this more often." Not
another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that
deer-in-the- headlights stare.
This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and
for
the sake of her own life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn
on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office no less.
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IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our
car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We
went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to
unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I
instinctively
tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I
announced to the technician, "its open!" His reply, "I know - I already got
that side."
This was at the CHEVY dealership in Canton , Mississippi !
Warm regards,
Ross
Bon D' Age' : BDSM
http://tinyurl.com/ygblqt
Designermite :
http://tinyurl.com/ueov5
Soul of Motorcycle Art
http://tinyurl.com/ybg73a
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