RE: just curious, crying out vs. staying silent...

RE: just curious, crying out vs. staying silent... (Full Version)

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SlaveAkasha -> RE: just curious, crying out vs. staying silent... (12/23/2006 1:33:53 PM)
I will try this also, I seem to have a bit of trouble with it sometimes myself. If find myself crying and it's not from the emotional side, it's because it freaking hurts. Master is very good about comforting me afterward, but during it's pretty bad. I sort of like to go off into my own little world, which helps a lot..the problem is that Master talks to me and I am expected to answer, so I can't go there and find my "happy place"..in turn I feel every blow. Kasha

mnottertail -> RE: just curious, crying out vs. staying silent... (12/23/2006 2:06:41 PM)
You will be better at tuning him out in time.......(this is from the voice of experience) Ron My happy place never came till long after the beating and berating was over.

Focus50 -> RE: just curious, crying out vs. staying silent... (12/23/2006 3:00:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SlaveAkasha I sort of like to go off into my own little world, which helps a lot..the problem is that Master talks to me and I am expected to answer, so I can't go there and find my "happy place"..in turn I feel every blow. Don't mean to butt into your personal relationship but that'd be something you should talk to him about. Of course it hurts and sub-space is an obvious and natural remedy to counter it - allowing both to enjoy. For those who use physical pain as a punishment, keeping you "up" by making you answer questions etc seems quite effective but I learnt early that I'd generally rather her drift off to wherever it is you subs go.... lol Focus.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: just curious, crying out vs. staying silent... (12/23/2006 3:10:08 PM)
If I am puishing someone, I ask questions becasue I want to make sure they are not focused on tuning out what they are feeling. I do this to angel all the time, when we are in ANY kind of scene, becasue he gets so deep into his subspace that he tends to lose the ability to speak and just squeaks no matter what I do. That doesnt tell me if its a good thing or a bad thing, just a reaction. It is far easier for me to make him refocus, make him tell me if things are good or bad since we are still in the process of learning one another. Eventualy over time I wont need to get him back and have him tel me if somehting is good or bad. Then, he can wriggle and squeak to his little slave hearts content and I wont interrupt his headspace. Perhaps, Akasha, this is part of whats going on with you. You two are still also in the learning stages (if I remember correctly) so maybe he is trying to keep you in the here and now and not in your space so that he can learn how you react to things. I would most definately ask him. I am also figuring out that Angel likes to fight back, not because he thinks he might win, but becasue he enjoys the humiliation of being bested every time. I lvoe the learning stage, there are so many fun discoveries! DV

SlaveAkasha -> RE: just curious, crying out vs. staying silent... (12/23/2006 3:51:55 PM)
Ron: Lol, you make me laugh.. yes, I am sure that will come with time. Focus: I will talk to him about it. I think the "problem" is that Master is very vocal in how he gets turned on.. so asking me things, or having me say things works for him in a big way. I do love that wonderful subspace, though I don't get to visit much...but I hate to take any of his pleasure away. Kasha

mnottertail -> RE: just curious, crying out vs. staying silent... (12/23/2006 3:59:24 PM)
In this case I was serious, my father having whipped me with a heavy leather saddle cinch in my youth, I understand endorphins, the fact that at the first opportunity available I bounced the fucker thru a dining room table and then threading him thru a couple random windows indicated to me that I probably shouldn't check the submissive box. Endorphins are fanstastic little chemicals, I ain't about to go thru what it takes to encourage them. Ron

jthorne -> RE: just curious, crying out vs. staying silent... (12/23/2006 4:02:56 PM)
I can go either way, as I'm not much of a one for sadism in the first place. Just let me know you're having fun...and if that's stifling your reactions or letting them out, fantastic either way! Just be sure that I know that's how you tell me you're having a good time and loving it.

SlaveAkasha -> RE: just curious, crying out vs. staying silent... (12/23/2006 4:03:15 PM)
I assumed that you meant, women tend to learn to tune men out.... sorry about that. I like the pain somewhat, but I more like the pain that has a lot of pleasure with it. If I can't get into that subspace mode, it's just pure pain and before I know it..I am crying like a baby and pissed at myself. I do enjoy that Master is happy, so I suppose there is pleasure in it for me..it's all in how I look at it. Kasha

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: just curious, crying out vs. staying silent... (12/23/2006 4:14:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie I'll have to try this. Not having given birth, I can't relate to that part but it does make sense to pick a focal point and focus on breathing. Thanks for this! I am seriously struggling with handling pain better. I dunno, I just got to the point where I figured if I was still breathing and cognitively functioning after the scene, I handled it just fine. But I'm assuming you mean remaining in more focused and disciplined control while enduring pain. :)

mnottertail -> RE: just curious, crying out vs. staying silent... (12/23/2006 4:22:10 PM)
quote: I assumed that you meant, women tend to learn to tune men out. SlaveAkasha LOLOL, I like that better, that's what I meant, yeah...yeah...that's what I meant. Ron

KnightofMists -> RE: just curious, crying out vs. staying silent... (12/23/2006 4:56:53 PM)
I don't play to create noise. I play to create energy. My preference is for the bottoms that I play with to allow themselves to express themselves unihibitedly. This maybe screams and yells or just maybe moans and purrs. It is the natural uninhibited flow of express that opens the door to the energy that I seek to ride. However, there is occasions that I will restrict or control the expressions of my bottoms with various means. The motivations to controls these expressions is to ride the energy wave. Even as I control the expressions, I leave the bottoms open to express themselves uninhibitedly to the best of their ability. Interestly, a tied girl that wants to swing out... doesn't do so very well.... but yet... they still will try if they let themself go with the energy.

ownedgirlie -> RE: just curious, crying out vs. staying silent... (12/23/2006 11:37:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie I'll have to try this. Not having given birth, I can't relate to that part but it does make sense to pick a focal point and focus on breathing. Thanks for this! I am seriously struggling with handling pain better. I dunno, I just got to the point where I figured if I was still breathing and cognitively functioning after the scene, I handled it just fine. But I'm assuming you mean remaining in more focused and disciplined control while enduring pain. :) ~Chuckles~ yes that (bolded part) and remaining emotionally intact afterwards.

SoftTop -> RE: just curious, crying out vs. staying silent... (12/25/2006 1:27:19 PM)
Its been great to read all of these very candid answers. Thank you all! Softie

Celeste43 -> RE: just curious, crying out vs. staying silent... (12/26/2006 9:52:06 AM)
He wants feedback. If I don't tell him or show him through my responses, then how can he know where I am? If all he wants is to whip something that doesn't respond, try a pillow. But for us it's the connection that's of most importance.

marieToo -> RE: just curious, crying out vs. staying silent... (12/26/2006 10:06:11 AM)
Im not a screamer. It's more of a gutteral sound that comes out of my mouth with every stroke. It feels like some kind of channel through which the pain escapes. I cant even imagine having to remain silent. I think it would make it nearly impossible for me to endure the pain.

MmakeMme -> RE: just curious, crying out vs. staying silent... (12/26/2006 10:11:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied quote: My way of handling pain is focused silence That reminds me of lamaze and childbirth. I remember staring at a picture (my focal point). It really does work. You concentrate all of your energy on staring and breathing and tune everything else out. I'll have to try this. Not having given birth, I can't relate to that part but it does make sense to pick a focal point and focus on breathing. Thanks for this! I am seriously struggling with handling pain better. Heyyyy! That ~is~ interesting! I think I may have groaned a couple of times each labor but it was a definite controlled pain experience. I never considered this technique in handling a flogging. Sign me ... curious.

RUpainsmith -> RE: just curious, crying out vs. staying silent... (12/28/2006 9:08:27 PM)
I prefer in scenes for partners to respond as they naturally would; I don't want someone being deliberatly extra loud thinking that's what I like. I'm not looking for a theater performance, I'm with a lover. Don't be afraid to shout, but at the same time, don't be afraid to be quiet. As long as there's some kind of body language indicating "good" and "bad" the vocalizations aren't as important.

celticlord2112 -> RE: just curious, crying out vs. staying silent... (12/28/2006 11:14:06 PM)
As a general rule, I prefer to hear my subs cry out--mainly because I enjoy hearing their cries of pain. However, those same cries also let me know when the limits are being reached. Last week I had occasion to flog a new slave...it was her very first flogging scene. After one particularly loud cry, I realized that we were at her limits...and that it was time to wind the scene down. This being her first such scene, she wanted to impress...and would have endured as long as I persisted. Hearing her cries throughout gave me the input I needed to gauge when her limits were close at hand.

ownedgirlie -> RE: just curious, crying out vs. staying silent... (12/29/2006 12:27:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: marieToo Im not a screamer. It's more of a gutteral sound that comes out of my mouth with every stroke. It feels like some kind of channel through which the pain escapes. I cant even imagine having to remain silent. I think it would make it nearly impossible for me to endure the pain. I was pushed a bit tonight and this is exactly what happened (the part I bolded). I had been giving a lot of thought to pain lately, and this thread helped. I have spent a lot of time connecting with my center, and when Master was belting me tonight I did that - I found my center and focused on it, and the next thing I knew this strange sound was coming through me - low and constant - and it was as though the pain was flowing out of me through that channel. It was really amazing. Until one big whack which sent me reeling and then so much for that. [sm=tongue.gif] But hey, it's a start...

subsa -> RE: just curious, crying out vs. staying silent... (12/29/2006 9:02:35 AM)
sorry this is off topic but just wanted to comment on the focal point issue.... focal points are used for all sorts of things in meditation and yoga. in yoga your focal point is called a drishti. it can be anything really (a spot on the wall or floor will do in a pinch) but it tends to have more meaning if its something that is special to you. i also feel that your drishti can gain power over time. after all, think of the energy you pour into it. it has to go somewhere right? at points when i'm struggling in my life i make a withdrawl from my 'drishti bank'...it works for me anyway...

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