RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out?

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RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/23/2006 11:00:19 AM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

I have just read your post, ownedgirlie.......I don't think I can remember a single time when my Master said he was *pleased with me*...........and barely a time when he expressed displeasure, either.

Sometimes I think I have a very strange relationship....lol

agirl

It certainly is different than mine, for sure, agirl. But strange? Hey if it works for you, which obviously it does, than who cares strange or normal? Just what is normal anyway?! I bet it's a bore, lol.

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RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/23/2006 11:35:24 AM

nikaa

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What do you do? Do your partner(s) prefer you to remain silent, or do they want to hear your agony/extacy?

It depends on if we actually have the house to ourselves or if our kids our in the next room sleeping.

I tend to be silent other than moans and occassional wimpers. He loves to be close to me when inflicting pain. He loves hearing my breath, feeling how my body reacts, and looking into my eyes.

It's amazing how he can tell the difference between a whimper of enjoyment and whimper of tolerance.

Edited to add: He loves it when I beg for him to do something harder even if they are whispered.

< Message edited by nikaa -- 12/23/2006 11:38:25 AM >

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RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/23/2006 2:16:54 PM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

I have just read your post, ownedgirlie.......I don't think I can remember a single time when my Master said he was *pleased with me*...........and barely a time when he expressed displeasure, either.

Sometimes I think I have a very strange relationship....lol

agirl

It certainly is different than mine, for sure, agirl. But strange? Hey if it works for you, which obviously it does, than who cares strange or normal? Just what is normal anyway?! I bet it's a bore, lol.

It's different to anything I've been accustomed to, also.....lol

I used to be a bit of a Princess,( I can already hear my Master saying * A BIT???*)...... I'm used to having things the way I want them.

It sounds like he's a bit of a meanie but it's more that he's pleased FOR me. I don't have to *please* him, and he doesn't expect me to do anything for him, either..... so it's just not something I can relate to, really.

I don't even know what it's like to *please*. How weird.

agirl

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RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/23/2006 3:07:31 PM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

I used to be a bit of a Princess,( I can already hear my Master saying * A BIT???*)...... I'm used to having things the way I want them.

I can relate. My family actually calls me Miss America. They have called me that since I was about 13.

quote:

It sounds like he's a bit of a meanie but it's more that he's pleased FOR me. I don't have to *please* him, and he doesn't expect me to do anything for him, either..... so it's just not something I can relate to, really.

I don't even know what it's like to *please*. How weird.

agirl

I never assumed he is a meanie. He seems to be exactly what you need so how can that be bad? But yep, I do set out to please my Master and as hard that is to do sometimes, it is most rewarding to me when I do. In fact, that aspect of our relationship played a huge part in boosting my self confidence.

So yeah, you're weird.

(kidding of course)

Edited to scratch my head and wonder why your colors changed when I quoted you.

< Message edited by ownedgirlie -- 12/23/2006 3:09:26 PM >

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RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/23/2006 3:19:27 PM

fireysub

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He loves to hear me making noises. Whether it's moans of ecstasy or whimpers and screams of pain. Although I have to admit I do tend to be quieter while receiving pain.

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RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/23/2006 5:39:47 PM

behindmirrors

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I'm one of those variable reaction types- I think it all depends on my headspace when the painful or pleasureable (or both, smiles) activities are occurring. Sometimes it takes me by surprise, and I cry out. Sometimes I just need to make noise, other times I am in a better place just being quiet and taking it. This is why I guess it's really important with us for him to be able to read the non-verbal cues- I will certainly be giving them. A lot more of my reaction to any kind of stimuli happens without words (or in addition to, depending), and always the best way to figure out what's going on with me at any given time.

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RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/23/2006 7:01:15 PM

pixelslave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SoftTop

How do you handle it?
I ask, because I have been asked if my silence is a sign of pride. In pain scenarios, I tend to stay very focused and quiet, only giving small grunts or sharp breaths.I am very much more vocal when receiving pleasure, but for pain (spankings, whippings etc) I do stay quiet, and in fact I would very likely pass out before I would make noise. I don't find myself thinking "I better not make noise" its just how its always been. What do you do? Do your partner(s) prefer you to remain silent, or do they want to hear your agony/extacy?
Thanks :)
Softie

I see most of the responses you've received have been from females, so I'll add a response as a male.

First, I'll say that my play with what I think of as intense pain has been somewhat limited. With the pain that I find pleasurable, I'd say that I'm usually vocal.

The pain I've experienced that was actually quite painful, if brief caused me to yelp, if extended soon caused me to breathe very hard just to work my way through it and to keep me from using my safeword. The Domme I was with at the time, was definitely a Sadist. She loved it when she got a response from a sub. So although I wasn't being especially verbal (I didn't have the spare breath to make much of a sound), she liked seeing the response she was getting. Most every Domme that I've spoken to since on the subject, have all said they prefer a sub that reacts to what they are doing with both a physical and verbal response.

- pixel

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RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/23/2006 7:09:55 PM

Bearlee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pixelslave
Most every Domme that I've spoken to since on the subject, have all said they prefer a sub that reacts to what they are doing with both a physical and verbal response.

Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... exactly!

edited to add; Yes, Tops likes it too! ...really! ...a lot.

< Message edited by Bearlee -- 12/23/2006 7:13:08 PM >

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RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/23/2006 10:30:36 PM

dawntreader

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i am still new to all this , but i tend to be stoic until overwhelmed. i am not allowed "subspace" by my Master because it pulls my focus away from Him. He is constantly talking to me during a session and expecting verbal replies but He has not stated a preference for my reaction. Tears will stop a session before begging will because He trusts my body signals as to when i have reached my threshold and He knows my current emotional "walls" will not allow me to succumb to tears unless the wall is cracking or broken. Whether this is from my pride or years of self-defense mechanisms, i don't know...

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RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/23/2006 10:41:43 PM

akbarbarian

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My last submissive was afraid to let anyone see her tears. She tried being stoic, but I am turned on by tears and sobbing so I pushed her to racking sobs whenever I wanted them. Even when in the middle of heaving sobs, she was still somewhat quiet so I'd have to keep on her until she was vocal to my satisfaction. She had no problem being vocal about pleasure, but sorrow and pain she kept locked up. I believe it was very good for her to shed that emotional wall and find release.

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RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/23/2006 10:49:20 PM

Grlwithboy

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As a do-er I find that I don't really have a favorite reaction beyond the one that's genuinely *yours.* If you're silent and you sink deep into your zone, I can usually get it, and go along, and read a little harder. If you're a screamer or you stomp your feet and curse me out, it's all genuine, it's all a reaction.

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RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/23/2006 10:49:46 PM

dawntreader

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You and my Master have this in common it seems~ Although i do not understand the "turn-on " to tears, He will not stop till He sees them. And ofcourse He wants to break down my walls so i can experience "release"...infact, i am writing this standing at the moment as i can't bear sitting!

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RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/24/2006 12:07:11 AM

darksdesire

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I have usually been stoic. It's easy for me to go inside myself when I'm in physical or emotional pain. It's the way I cope with most things. My Master prefers noise - lots of begging, and crying and squirming,. It's hard for me to let that out. It's not that it's not in there, but only that I'm accustomed to turning inward in response to pain. I'm trying to unlearn this whole going inward thing.

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RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/24/2006 1:03:51 AM

XxToadxX

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I've not had a master or a mistress that didn't want me to not make noise so... I'm very loud both in pleasure and pain and I make very .... odd and interesting noises.. I don't 'moan' I whimper, cryout and yelp all very high and expressive.. I can try and dull it down a little but I'm a very sensative and expressive person in most situations.. ball gag normaly helps with THAT though.

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RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/25/2006 1:33:12 PM

SoftTop

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quote:

ORIGINAL: untamedshysub

it may go deeper than pride, and you have to look within to see why you dont cry out in pain or at punishment. For me I learned as a child if I cried when beaten the beatings would stop and I decided that showing that to them allowed them ( my parents) to win and I would not allow them to win so I stopped crying or showing any emotion when beaten. I was an adult before I realized that I did not cry or show emotion when hurt would just withdraw within myself and allow another part of me to take over when in pain. I am learning how to blend me all into one person not an easy task but I have learned with the help of some very good Dom/mme friends its okay to cry when hurting.

I think I may have left out a detail...I'm specifically talking about pain for pleasures sake, not punishment. We don't use pain as a method of punishment, because I do enjoy it. I think for me, its not a pride issue, or a childhood hurt issue, but more of a focus issue. I can focus inward and receive the pleasure thats hiding in the pain, if I am quiet. When I become loud, allow myself to scream out, it feelsless pleasureable, and more painful. When I remain quiet, I get a different type of rush happening.

Softie

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RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/25/2006 3:18:14 PM

denika

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I'm very noisy and my Top encourages me to react naturally so there is usually a combination of screams, curses, moans and from time to time even tears. I have a very hard time crying, and doing it in public, mortifiying. Slowly I have come to let the tears come when they need to, I am a masochist like you, the pain is not ever given as a punishment so it is a positive experience. It is the place I can let go of my usual constraint and just react and it almost always vocal. letting loose with a good scream is amazingly primal and freeing. When I can go to the place where my language skills seaze to exist and it's just about sound, that is incredible.

denika

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RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/25/2006 3:22:06 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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I'm with the folks who prefer noise and movement.
I can't stand stoic types because they bore me for one, and I lose interest in whatever I'm doing because I start to feel like I'm being too inefficient to ellicit a response... I have gotten harsh in spanking on an occasion or two because the boy was being quiet (and I thought bored, which he later cleared up he was not

). M

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RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/25/2006 4:50:14 PM

Caitriona

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During play I am usually quiet but if the same place is struck repeatedly, I am more likely to cry out. It varies from whimpers to short bursts/yelps. Sometimes I cry out if the pain gets to be very intense. Crying out is usually what happens right before I use a "slow down" safeword. During sex I tend to be louder.

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RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/25/2006 5:51:34 PM

TexasMaam

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pssst...julia,
Did you happen to catch the Hilton Family Holiday on Ice show of whatever it was called, that aired on Xmas Eve?

Yeah, I know, you probably had more interesting things to do that afternoon, BUT, if you have a chance to snag a copy be sure to look for the female ice skater who ice danced to a tune "Want a Big Fine Daddy"....she even looked like you! You'd love it.

Sorry folks, for derailing the topic. Pretend I'm not here!
TM

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RE: Pain: Stay quiet, or cry out? - 12/26/2006 3:51:53 AM

andreaC

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I would say that Master wants me to be who i am.......very expressive. He doesnt want me to hold inside my emotions/feelings. So basically, i am a screamer for pain/pleasure and i am sure some days the ballgag will be used, He hates it when i whine or nag like He says.....that would only make it worst for me.

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