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pixelslave -> RE: Thoughts on Switching: Dom/Top/submissive/bottom? (12/24/2006 2:04:56 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy
quote:
ORIGINAL: pixelslave
What Lashra describes is probably the only conditions under which I could comfortably act as a top and feel as though I could enjoy myself at the same time.
Another analogy to some of what you've said that comes to mind is that I do like to flirt and to tease (I greatly appreciate the same in a woman as well [;)]). So I can readily see where I could possibly top a woman if I approached it totally from that perspective and point of view. But mentally and emotionally, if she were my Domme, she'd still be my Domme in my mind no matter what happened and I'd not be able to forget that. It would be more a case of satisfying her itch and hoping it wouldn't be returned in triplicate. [8|]
- pixel
This is kind of interesting to me -- I'm always curious about the overlap between sexual passivity and submission or whether or not sexual passivity is just a personality trait that can be deployed in different ways (read: flirtatious pursuit under heading of being the sexual act-or in this case)
I'm of the mind that it's the latter. There's nothing necessarily bottom-like about letting a guy or a girl do the flirtatious work and seeing what "stuff" you've got.
I'm not certain I follow you at all. To my mind, a submissive isn't necessarily sexually passive. Most Dommes, seem to prefer a sub that is creative and has some initiative as well, but also knows how to follow directions and when to "take his place" so to speak. Not to sound immodest, but I'm one who is talented in the area of massage, both therapeutic and sensual. To do that well, requires me to take the initiative and follow what my hands tell me when I touch a woman. It would be a great disservice to her if I stopped to ask permission every time I needed to move or touch a different area to continue to follow a line of tension and eventually relax her muscles.
I've touched enough women to know that I can easily tease and build a desire within them to want me to touch them more, harder, faster, a bit differently or someplace else nearby.[;)] I also know that I can flirt or tease with words to have the same kind of effect. That doesn't mean I don't prefer to be the one on the receiving end of this kind of treatment in one form or another.
When it comes to attracting and meeting women, Dommes are still basically women who like to be flirted with, teased to some extent, and in various ways be told they are attractive, usually without having a man bow down and begin to beg for their affection. Once they have him as their sub, the latter usually is of course another matter. Yet most Dommes, still like to have their sub continue to flirt with them, in some cases tease, and always to let them know in various ways how much they find them attractive!
So to tease a woman and make her beg (or demand as the case may be) for what it is that she ultimately desires, is something I could readily see happening. Perhaps the reason I can so easily relate, is that I get quite aroused when endlessly teased for hours, when a woman goes out of her way to build my desire for her in something of a similar manner. I could see it applied in many different ways. For me as one who will flirt and tease, usually in a verbal manner, but sometimes with my hands or with other body parts [8D], I can see how it could be extended to other ways and means if a Mistress wanted that from me in order to satisfy other needs she had for different kinds of play. So if placed in the position of a top by my Mistress, I could readily tease using sensations of a pleasurable kind. I don't know that I could easily apply sensations of a much stronger type without help and guidance from her. Fortunately, that's something I've never been in a position to have to try and do! [8|]
- pixel
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