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4 questions of a perplexed guy - 2/21/2005 11:17:25 AM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

First, the situation then the questions.

In my journal I have been upfront about my health. I have not closed the door: if a domme reads my profile and thinks I’d be perfect, I’m open to discussion. (or should i say i’m open to discussion.

)

Anyway I get a one sentence note from a pink name. She says she is looking for a workhorse and asks if I’m interested.

She submissive and into some Gorean thing. I assume I’d be washing dishes and stuff while she’d be having sex with her Master or something.

I tell her I’m not interested, and since we’re both submissive I’m not hitting on her but she is very pretty. (She was over 40. I can’t speak for everyone, but I think over 40 people don’t get complimented on that enough. [I know no one say I’m pretty.

])

She writes back to say she is a Domme.

I tell her I’d be interested, but we’d need a vanilla talk first, mostly about my health.

I am not sweating my not hearing back from her, since she probably just read my journal.

Now the questions.

Ladies, is it now normal to avoid the submissive male mail deluge by posing as a sub or was that just a screw up?

Second, is a workhorse a technical term for an unpaid butler who will never get anything sexual? (By "not anything" I mean tying his hands and leaving the room would be at least be something.)

Third, I’ve read many complaints here about how applicants don’t read profiles. Should I be upset she did not read mine?

Fourth, I know lurkers are asking, how long should I await her response? (I, personally, am not awaiting her response, but I know that question is going to be asked by readers.) Keep in mind she contacted me.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

Post #: 1

RE: 4 questions of a perplexed guy - 2/21/2005 11:28:26 AM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

1 - I would never pose as anything other than what I am, you can't have a relationship of any kind without trust and if you are lying about something right off the bat, then you can't be trusted. However, I have talked to a few people who seemed to honestly not realize that they had clicked the wrong thing on their drop-down list, so it's possible that it's a mistake. As for avoiding the trolls ... femsubs get just as many as Dommes, trust me.

2 - not a clue, never used it ... sorry ...

3 - yes, you should. Especially if anywhere on her profile it says anything about people not reading. I am always upset when people don't read ours and really ... you have put the effort to actually put things in your profile, which is far better than most on here, so people should take the time to read it.

4 - eh, who knows ... not much help on that one either, am I? lol

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 2

RE: 4 questions of a perplexed guy - 2/21/2005 11:37:55 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu

Ladies, is it now normal to avoid the submissive male mail deluge by posing as a sub or was that just a screw up?

I agree with Sweet on this, my guess is the person is either a switch or just didn't realize what they clicked. You can ask the person directly if it really matters.

quote:

Second, is a workhorse a technical term for an unpaid butler who will never get anything sexual? (By "not anything" I mean tying his hands and leaving the room would be at least be something.)

How I've heard it used is simply as a beast or burden- you do the physical stuff and you get fed and cared for in return. If that's all you are, then no I wouldn't expect sex or any real emotional intimacy. You certainly can be a workhorse AND more if that's what they want.

quote:

Third, I’ve read many complaints here about how applicants don’t read profiles. Should I be upset she did not read mine?

Being upset about what others do or don't do is usually wasted energy. Don't expect others to do things like that, be happily surprised when they do!

quote:

Fourth, I know lurkers are asking, how long should I await her response? (I, personally, am not awaiting her response, but I know that question is going to be asked by readers.) Keep in mind she contacted me.

You don't. You're dating, so start talking and dating. If she comes around, she can start dating too.

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 3

RE: 4 questions of a perplexed guy - 2/21/2005 12:38:15 PM

SecretDomme

Posts: 152
Joined: 1/21/2004
Status: offline

1) When someone like a Dom (as stated on his profile) emails me, but indicates that he is submissive and seeking a Domme, I email back telling him that his profile indicates otherwise and that he should amend it to reflect his position. If someone is posing as something they aren't, just to increase their chances of making contact, I would be wary.

2) I'm not sure what a workhorse is, but it appears to indicate that "work" will be done. The other conditions would have to be explained by the person using the term.

3) I suppose you could always ask her what she found interesting about your profile and see what she says. For the most part, if I receive an obvious "Domme mass mailing" or get the basic "I am looking for a Domme to serve", I tend to lose interest.

4) I don't have a timeline for response, but if I don't usually hear from someone, and it's obvious that they have logged on to the site since emailing me, and they have read my email, I assume they are no longer interested.

Be well,
Julie

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 4

RE: 4 questions of a perplexed guy - 2/21/2005 1:57:14 PM

happypervert

Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline

quote:

Ladies, is it now normal to avoid the submissive male mail deluge by posing as a sub or was that just a screw up?

I'm not a lady, but seems to me that the submissive male mail deluge is probably smaller in size and obnoxiousness than the HNG mail deluge a female sub would get. So, the explanation lies elsewhere.

_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 5

RE: 4 questions of a perplexed guy - 2/21/2005 4:04:12 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

It sounds to me like she was told by her Dom that she could have a sub to do her housework for her. I think your estimation of them off humping like bunnies while you do dishes is a fairly accurate rendition of what they'd expect. Since she contacted you from a submissive profile, her claim of being a Domme is suspect. I'd go for Switch, but I have a problem calling someone who is in an active submissive relationship a Dom/me. I do not think her profile was a screw up. I suspect she really is a sub and they're using her as bait in looking for a male to do the housework (because male subs are easier to find.) I'm sure some idio.. excuse me, sub, will take them up on the offer. I've never understood entering a total user relationship, although I know there are some who desire such. I hope they find each other and live happy ever after.

I'd say don't wait on her response at all. Be pleasantly surprised if it shows up. It is more likely that she'll just write you off and move on to the next. While it would be nice to think everyone would send a thanks-for-your-time note, especially when they instigated the contact, the sad reality is that common courtesy is no longer common.

I suspect that work horse is a term for someone who will get nothing out of the relationship other than the satisfaction of working. Since I've never heard it used before in a BDSM connotation, I'd get her to write out what it would entail if she ever does write back.

You can be upset about her not reading your profile, but I'd think it is a counterproductive emotion. People who complain on here do so out of frustration. If it does truly frustrate you and make you angry, acknowledge that. If it doesn't, don't accumulate any more frustration then you must.

Oh, and by the way.. nice bod. :-)

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 6

RE: 4 questions of a perplexed guy - 2/21/2005 6:02:49 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

iwill -

I think you've been punk'd

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 7

RE: 4 questions of a perplexed guy - 2/22/2005 5:06:02 AM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Oh, and by the way.. nice bod. :-)

Thanks!

Nice eyes.

What I could see of your body through the weird camera angels was nice.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to BeachMystress)

Post #: 8

RE: 4 questions of a perplexed guy - 2/22/2005 5:07:31 AM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I think you've been punk'd

I hate to show my age, but what is "punk'd"?

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 9

RE: 4 questions of a perplexed guy - 2/22/2005 5:09:53 AM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Thanks to all who replied and I was to lazy to respond individually too. (Hey, I'm probably going to take a nap after posting this. A wee bit o' laziness might be expected.

)

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 10

RE: 4 questions of a perplexed guy - 2/22/2005 5:11:16 AM

quietkitten

Posts: 1082
Joined: 2/5/2005
From: Alberta, Canada
Status: offline

punk'd is a kind of nasty joke

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 11

RE: 4 questions of a perplexed guy - 2/22/2005 5:23:17 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu

quote:

I think you've been punk'd

I hate to show my age, but what is "punk'd"?

It's kind of a nasty prank. See Ashton Kutcher's MTV show Punk'd.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 12

RE: 4 questions of a perplexed guy - 2/22/2005 5:51:07 AM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

punk'd is a kind of nasty joke

Thaks for the info.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to quietkitten)

Post #: 13

RE: 4 questions of a perplexed guy - 2/22/2005 5:52:01 AM

iwillserveu

Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu

quote:

I think you've been punk'd

I hate to show my age, but what is "punk'd"?

It's kind of a nasty prank. See Ashton Kutcher's MTV show Punk'd.

- LA

Thanks for the info.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 14

RE: 4 questions of a perplexed guy - 2/22/2005 6:08:27 AM

quietkitten

Posts: 1082
Joined: 2/5/2005
From: Alberta, Canada
Status: offline

anytime

(in reply to iwillserveu)

Post #: 15

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