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proper protocol - 12/24/2006 3:12:54 AM   
patina


Posts: 493
Joined: 9/14/2006
From: no
Status: offline 		I may be meeting a Dom for the first time in a few weeks is there any kind of protocol that is standard?  He is more of what is temed old school kind of etiquitte sp? so is very particular in how one acts and speaks.  I think I have the speaking down decent but the other i am at a loss.  If know of any links that give the instructions on how to correctly do things.  All help appreciated.

Patina

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RE: proper protocol - 12/24/2006 3:18:16 AM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		I'd say, first and foremost, be yourself. But if you need guidelines as to how to act, the biggest suggestion I'd make is to read and believe in Emily Post. She has the right idea.

In other words, there is no "correct" way to act that is an across the board protocol, but nothing beats simple manners.

Good luck.

juliet

(in reply to patina)
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RE: proper protocol - 12/24/2006 3:24:17 AM   
CandleInTheWind


Posts: 347
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline 		yes say  hello My name is Patina, pleased to meet you.

and if he insists on you getting into anyting that you are not comfortable  then you say  it was very nice to meet your would you mind terribly leaving me alone? and say good bye

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It is better to be hated for something that you are
than it is to be loved for something you are not

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RE: proper protocol - 12/24/2006 5:24:38 AM   
Voltare


Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline 		I think you'll find through the course of the relationship, he'll take the lead and give you the right cues on when to do what.  From my own experiences, I find it easier to set my own expectations when the girl doesn't have a stack of her own.

At any rate, I don't think the first meeting should be fraught with stumbling and worries over not getting the pinky finger just right when sipping tea.  Do it like you normally would, so he gets to know who you really are.


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"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

(in reply to CandleInTheWind)
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RE: proper protocol - 12/24/2006 6:40:17 AM   
pixelslave


Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline 		In my opinion, you should just be yourself and not try to impress him.  If old school is his thing, he can train you in whatever he wants you to learn.  Just let him get a chance to get to know the person inside you and I suggest you focus on doing the same in regard to him.  That way you can decide for yourself whether or not you like him as a man and a human being, not as a Dom.  If you can't relate to him as a man, I'd hope you wouldn't want to go the the next level anyway.

- pixel

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Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

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RE: proper protocol - 12/24/2006 8:10:41 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		None other than the standard manners that one should always have when meeting someone in person for the first time.

If he has rules he wants you follow, he may give them to you and you may decide to follow them or not. 

Be yourself- if it won't work as who you are, there's not much point to it.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: proper protocol - 12/24/2006 8:29:05 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: patina

I may be meeting a Dom for the first time in a few weeks is there any kind of protocol that is standard?  He is more of what is temed old school kind of etiquitte sp? so is very particular in how one acts and speaks.  I think I have the speaking down decent but the other i am at a loss.  If know of any links that give the instructions on how to correctly do things.  All help appreciated.

Patina


I can understand wanting to make an impression the first time you meet someone, and we all do try to be well groomed, well dressed, look our best and put our best foot forward. I have to ask if this is his demand on you or if this is a self inflicted expectation. First time you meet someone you may or may not decide you want a power exchange with them. I think that learning good manners is important in life, but learning what he may or may not expect smacks of submitting before meeting... and that is something that I would not be interested in doing.

Like the others said, be yourself and you cannot go wrong, even if the date goes no where.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to patina)
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RE: proper protocol - 12/24/2006 9:27:48 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Um, in passing the only formal protocol that I am aware of is that you should neither accidentally or on purpose stick a fork in his eye.  Other than that, be pleasant, polite and use social manners as you would in any meet and greet situation.


Ron


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RE: proper protocol - 12/24/2006 9:35:51 AM   
whisperedsighs


Posts: 349
Joined: 11/12/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: patina

I may be meeting a Dom for the first time in a few weeks is there any kind of protocol that is standard?  He is more of what is temed old school kind of etiquitte sp? so is very particular in how one acts and speaks.  I think I have the speaking down decent but the other i am at a loss.  If know of any links that give the instructions on how to correctly do things.  All help appreciated.

Patina


Be yourself.  What is the purpose of someone getting to know a fake front you are putting up?  Any protocol he will want you to know he will teach you should things progress. 



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oh my god that was so wrong! .... again please!

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RE: proper protocol - 12/24/2006 10:05:30 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Um, in passing the only formal protocol that I am aware of is that you should neither accidentally or on purpose stick a fork in his eye.  Other than that, be pleasant, polite and use social manners as you would in any meet and greet situation.
Ron


What about sticking it in his belly button?  Cuz that could be fun...

To the OP, when I was to meet my Master for the first time, it was after months of conversation.  I went to him to present myself to him for service.  I had the same question - is there any protocol I should be aware of?  His response is "I will tell you and show you what you need to know." 

So really, just bring yourself.  If he is someone you are or will be submitting to, he will show you the rest.

(in reply to mnottertail)
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RE: proper protocol - 12/24/2006 10:08:54 AM   
ImpGrrl


Posts: 575
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: patina

I may be meeting a Dom for the first time in a few weeks is there any kind of protocol that is standard?


No, there isn't.

Be polite.  Go with what feels right.  If you're still unsure, ask *him* what he prefers.


(in reply to patina)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: proper protocol - 12/24/2006 3:06:57 PM   
patina


Posts: 493
Joined: 9/14/2006
From: no
Status: offline 		Thank you for your replies,  I will ask him.  It is just me being scared and wanting to know as much as possible beforehand.  I like to research everything to death.  I thought there was some sort of standard formal entry as I have read of a kneeling position of asking for perission to sit, talk, and such.  Didn't know if these were required at first meeting or not.

I do intend to be myself I am as I am.   


Patina

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a diamond in the rough

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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: proper protocol - 12/25/2006 3:05:30 AM   
sweetnsoftinpa


Posts: 19
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline 		i have met a Master who is old gaurd. i was myself and He rather enjoyed me just being who i am then trying to be someone i was not. we are still friends but we did not connect on a higher level which is fine. so to me there are no protcols at all, just be who you are and He will peobably like that alot better.

(in reply to patina)
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RE: proper protocol - 12/25/2006 9:25:49 PM   
maybemaybenot


Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: patina

I thought there was some sort of standard formal entry as I have read of a kneeling position of asking for perission to sit, talk, and such.  Didn't know if these were required at first meeting or not.

I do intend to be myself I am as I am.   


Patina


I do hope you are intending to meet him in a public place, such as a resturant or mall.  In which case it really wouldn't look good kneeling. . I would not even consider asking permission to speak, sit etc on a first meet. Heck, not even on subsequent meets/dates.

Think of this as a first date, just like vanilla dates. There is nothing magical or different. You should speak as you normally do, you should be relaxed, if you need to use the bathroom, you simply excuse yourself and go, you should have some questions of your own to ask him and answer his honestly. The goal is to get to know each other as persons, first, to see if there is that " click". And if you share similar interests that you may want to build further on.

Asking permission to speak, sit, and kneeling to meet him are very fictionalized/ fantasy like versions of  the reality of wiitwd. Having to speak in an unusal or foriegn way is also not anything I am familiar with in real life. <Old guard, new guard or any other tag that some one may chose to label themselves with.>

He may be a Dominant, but he is not your Dominant until you have both agreed to such. And since he is not your Dominant < at the moment>, he is just a man you are going to goout and meet. You behave exactly as you would with any other man you were interested in. I want him to get to know me, who I am and vice versa.

At least that's the way I have always done it, and how my friends have done it. Go and have fun, enjoy yourself. If you accomplish that, you are on pretty good footing.

                            mbmbn

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Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

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RE: proper protocol - 12/25/2006 9:47:10 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Quite honestly, on a first meeting I prefer not to be inundated in researched protocol.  It makes it far too difficult to meet and get to know the person I am with when they are spending half their energy remembering what they were told was "proper" behavior. Unless he has specifically told you there was something he wanted you to do for him, I would not concern myself with proper protocol.  Rather, be polite, well spoken, and let him take the lead.

An aside, public meetings do sort of make certain accepted protocols difficult if not impossible anyway.  I had jokingly told Angel that I wanted him on his knees in front of me minutes after meeting him face to face. Since he was meeting me in the airport, I knew that wasnt going to happen (or assumed it wouldnt... teach me to assume) but it was far funnier than it was taken seriously. I wouldnt concern myself with protocols until you knew what he actually wanted or liked, and then begin those in private when you move there rather than immediate public displays. 
My 2 cents, of course
DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to maybemaybenot)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: proper protocol - 12/26/2006 10:39:38 AM   
classykindasassy


Posts: 291
Joined: 12/13/2005
Status: offline 		This is a first meeting right? I would not go in with any assumptions - i'd want to get to know someone before giving my obedience...

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"The less I seek my source for some definitive, the closer I am to fine." -The Indigo Girls

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: proper protocol - 1/12/2007 6:52:36 PM   
blinkingababy


Posts: 34
Joined: 1/8/2007
Status: offline 		Be your self... i am in the same situaltion and i plan on just being me ...

(in reply to classykindasassy)
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RE: proper protocol - 1/12/2007 7:06:32 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Not only is there no required actions or postions, there should not be. You may meet him and be repulsed. He may turn out to be your third cousin once removed or an old teacher. Until you meet and have taken the time to get to know him well enough to decide whether or not you are willing to submit to him, you have the responsibility of taking care of yourself.

He may meet you and decide you look just like his least favorite sister in which case he won't want your submission. Just as it would be rude for a stranger to come and start ordering you around, it would be equally rude for you to start submitting to someone if they don't want your submission.

Don't overinvest in a 20 minute coffee meet. Go with the hopes, but not expectations, that you may make a friend. If it's more, great. If it's less, you still got to go out and have a latte.

(in reply to blinkingababy)
Profile   Post #: 18
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