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whats better - 2/21/2005 2:36:16 PM   
WCCouple


Posts: 12
Joined: 2/21/2005
Status: offline 		a submissive who has it naturally or one you have to fight for?

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RE: whats better - 2/21/2005 5:39:55 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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Neither is "better." It depends upon what you personally want... Maybe did you mean your question to be what is our preference? I'm going to assume that is what you meant to ask.

My preference is someone who is naturally submissive, yet secure enough in themselves to not need to submit to everybody and anybody. They tend to be natural caretakers and sweet. I like the extras they think up to please.

I personally do not like drama and the subs who feel that every part of the journey must be a fight leave me rolling my eyes. I like when someone is secure enough in what they want and need to be able to acknowledge it and seek it without needing to resort to histrionics to keep themselves feeling in control. My life is not a battle ground, and I refuse to let it be turned into one.

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(in reply to WCCouple)
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RE: whats better - 2/21/2005 6:59:17 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Well I have yet to meet those plastic, artificially flavored submissives, but I definitely prefer the ones who accept who they are without the guilt, prodding andpassive aggressive "Yes its what I really want but I CANT admit it" types.

That being said, hey we all hit our roadblocks and sometimes need some shoving. I don't consider that not being submissive, I think it's just being human. As long as you don't make a career out of it!

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RE: whats better - 2/21/2005 8:45:29 PM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WCCouple

a submissive who has it naturally or one you have to fight for?


Personally, I want a submissive who, when she meets the right dominant, is willing to fight for the chance to submit...

Taggard

< Message edited by TallDarkAndWitty -- 2/21/2005 8:46:05 PM >

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RE: whats better - 2/22/2005 3:51:51 AM   
Jayxkes


Posts: 138
Joined: 7/8/2004
Status: offline 		It depends on the person! How naturally submissive someone is makes little difference, it's who they are and how they are that matters.

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RE: whats better - 2/22/2005 3:32:03 PM   
Gideon147


Posts: 25
Joined: 1/7/2005
Status: offline 		I don't think submission is something that can be squared off neatly in a box or grid. I feel that it is a character trait. Like being witty, or wise, or sarcastic, or intelligent. Everybody has these things in different levels. These are a part of the individual. It would be incredibly difficult for a Dom/me, or anybody for that matter, to increase or decrease these traits. However, they can be developed between two understanding individuals.

So submissiveness is natural. How much of that they want to give to Another, is their decision to make. I think that the Dom/me should earn whatever level of submission they have been given, but to have to 'fight' for seems to make it a little harder than it needs to be. It's like fighting for love. A Dom/me should not have to pry submission from a slave, but earn it through the development of trust and mutual respect.

The whole matter to Me sounds like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. Several times I have met people that thought being a submissive was 'the thing.' But it was not their nature. And when their Dom/me attempted to help develop that submission, there was always problems.

So this one, like so many questions that I have been asked, can only truly be answered by Yyour own heart on the matter.

Gideon

(in reply to Jayxkes)
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RE: whats better - 2/22/2005 4:25:42 PM   
Alexander


Posts: 159
Joined: 12/10/2004
Status: offline 		They are the same with one major distinction.

One is more likely to end before the other one.

It may actually be easier to find a woman in "normal" dating and introduce her to the life then it is to hunt down a natural submissive. It will be harder to maintain the dynamic for a long term relationship however.

Gideons got some words of wisdom on the matter.

Alex.

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RE: whats better - 2/22/2005 5:48:51 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		Take one of each at the same time and see what works best for ya. Maybe you should make the mud wrestle and you take the winner.

NEXT!




Attachment (1)

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RE: whats better - 2/23/2005 7:08:57 AM   
aliljaded1


Posts: 121
Joined: 6/20/2004
Status: offline 		*personally* ive always adored "the takedown" :o)

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RE: whats better - 2/23/2005 1:16:06 PM   
lacyann


Posts: 45
Joined: 11/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: WCCouple

a submissive who has it naturally or one you have to fight for?


Personally, I want a submissive who, when she meets the right dominant, is willing to fight for the chance to submit...


If I could only find the Dom who sees this in me. lacyann
Taggard


(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)
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RE: whats better - 2/23/2005 3:09:36 PM   
Voltare


Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline 		How about natural submissives who still need you to fight for it?

Seriously, it's like comparing blonde hair to brown, green eyes to blue, tall people to short. They're different, some people prefer one to the other, and most likely the complicated circumstances surrounding both are far more interesting then the short description.

Stephan

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RE: whats better - 2/25/2005 12:30:06 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
Gideon has some good points. My sub (who is one of those naturally submissive people) feels that the amount one is Dominant or submissive is a sliding scale. I think he also said that it changes from situation to situation.

The sliding scale also explains why someone submits conditionally at first, then more so as they gain trust. They may naturally be very submissive, yet need to trust and respect the one to whom they give themselves. Naturally submissive doesn't mean anyone's meat. It just means they're willing to slide that scale over and give you more
authority over them as time goes on. I very much agree that for me, I want submission to be given, not pried from the sub.

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Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to Gideon147)
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RE: whats better - 2/25/2005 1:07:28 PM   
willing2serve


Posts: 385
Joined: 4/6/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Personally, I want a submissive who, when she meets the right dominant, is willing to fight for the chance to submit...


Very profound and very understood....

Respectfully,
Willing2serve1

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