When will a dom/me know when he/she has a slave/sub that will met their requirements?

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When will a dom/me know when he/she has a slave/sub tha... - 2/21/2005 3:32:56 PM

BlkMSubneedsspnk

Posts: 15
Joined: 9/16/2004
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Here's a question I'd like to ask any and all experienced dom/mes:
When will a dom/me know they have a slave/sub that will meet their requirements?
I ask this because recently I had to inform a potential slave that we could not meet in real time due to distance and her lack of financial support. I personally believe that any potential live-in sub/slave should be able to do their part to support not only thier master/mistress, but themselves also. Too many of the profiles that I have read from those who want to be slaves are from those who have no job or any means of financial income whatsoever. I'm not greedy nor a golddigger, but I'm inclined to believe that any live-in sub/slave should have a way of helping pay their share of the rent, food, bills, etc. and not have this idea that this is going to be a free ride. Thanks to all who will reply to this post!

Post #: 1

RE: When will a dom/me know when he/she has a slave/sub... - 2/21/2005 3:42:36 PM

PaintedLady

Posts: 35
Joined: 2/19/2005
Status: offline

if they are your requirements, wouldn't you be able to tell if they were being met? i mostly did want to say from one noob to another- noone around here seems to require any sort of this/that-him/her sort of spelling

_____________________________

"beware the fury of a patient man"
-John Dryen

(in reply to BlkMSubneedsspnk)

Post #: 2

RE: When will a dom/me know when he/she has a slave/sub... - 2/21/2005 4:13:18 PM

Voltare

Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkMSubneedsspnk

When will a dom/me know they have a slave/sub that will meet their requirements?

If the sub or slave in question doesn't have bit flashing neon lights saying 'made especially for Stephan' I tend to look for the same sorts of qualities that I look for in all of my friends and potential relationship type people. Obviously, you will have to ask yourself what you actually expect out of a sub/slave, be it for casual play, phone sex, or a long term, live in, committed relationship. If I was just looking for someone to practice bondage with, I wouldn't be overly concerned about her political interests or her religious affiliations. On the other hand, her taste in music, movies, clothes, and sense of self worth are all vital for a committed relationship.

Using these guidelines, it becomes a lot easier to answer questions that you posed, like "should I expect to pay for a slave 100% or is it ok to expect her to contribute to the house?" In a perfect world, money wouldn't matter - but for most of us, one income is unlikely to cover all the expenses. Besides, would you really want to own a slave who didn't have a job, and spent the day scrubbing floors or other tasks... or just laying around all day eating chocolate bon bons?

Good luck!

Stephan

_____________________________

http://www.vv3b.com/

"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

(in reply to BlkMSubneedsspnk)

Post #: 3

RE: When will a dom/me know when he/she has a slave/sub... - 2/21/2005 4:16:10 PM

Guest

quote:

When will a dom/me know they have a slave/sub that will meet their requirements?

Not sure anyone could answer that question FOR you... except YOU.

If you have an ideal for a potential partner, you simply need to prioritize the characteristics you're looking for. Determine which are negotiable, compromisable and which are firm. Then start fishing. Like any day fishing, some are good and some are bad. I would bet that most who are sincerely looking for something in particular are running into the same issue: An abundance of people who don't fit your ideal (bisexual switches may have a small advantage there lol) Don't despair, keep trying, and remember the bigger rush you are in the more you may have to compromise.

good luck on the other side
Mod 5

(in reply to BlkMSubneedsspnk)

Post #: 4

RE: When will a dom/me know when he/she has a slave/sub... - 2/21/2005 4:21:41 PM

Gemeni

Posts: 255
Joined: 2/19/2005
Status: offline

To my way of thinking, a slave should be useful and do her share.

I would ultimately prefer a long term live in arrangement. I've had my share of "play partners" in the past, but I have outgrown that dynnamic over the years.

I'm very honest with any potential kajira I speak with... Even to say that for the next couple of years,I'm not looking to keep a slave.

Outside of that,I set the qualifications for what will be acceptable-and if they can't be met,nothing will happen until one comes along that does. I don't mold to anyone else's expectations,they mold to mine in this sort of a dynamic. Or they find another Master who better suits them.

(in reply to Voltare)

Post #: 5

RE: When will a dom/me know when he/she has a slave/sub... - 2/21/2005 5:30:59 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

First off, and totally irrelevant to the topic, you had me totally confused while reading the post. Your post seemed like a male, but the avatar is female. I realize the avatar doesn't always represent the person, but when it is a photo, it is usually of the person in question. Just wanted to give you a heads up to my confusion in case you encounter it in the future.

Why don't you sit down and write a list of what you want in a potential mate. The list will probably include financially secure and local. It may also include things like honest, good sense of humor, likes books, enjoys nature, wants children. When you're done with that list, make up one of what you will NOT do without in the BDSM realm. All relationships are a compromise of sorts. Often, people end up not with the person who is perfect for them, but with the person who is "good enough." Once you figure out what your criteria are for the person to serve you, you can go from there to figure out which one is good enough for you. Good Hunting!

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to BlkMSubneedsspnk)

Post #: 6

RE: When will a dom/me know when he/she has a slave/sub... - 2/21/2005 7:37:05 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

Your post seemed like a male, but the avatar is female. I realize the avatar doesn't always represent the person, but when it is a photo, it is usually of the person in question. Just wanted to give you a heads up to my confusion in case you encounter it in the future

Profile says male switch.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to BeachMystress)

Post #: 7

RE: When will a dom/me know when he/she has a slave/sub... - 2/21/2005 9:03:26 PM

MidnightWriter

Posts: 131
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkMSubneedsspnk
Here's a question I'd like to ask any and all experienced dom/mes:
When will a dom/me know they have a slave/sub that will meet their requirements?

As others have said, it's pretty much up to the dominant. For me, it's when they've shown their will/skill at obedience to my satisfaction, and I know them well enough to want them as a friend if they're not collared. Everything else can be worked on.

quote:

I ask this because recently I had to inform a potential slave that we could not meet in real time due to distance and her lack of financial support. I personally believe that any potential live-in sub/slave should be able to do their part to support not only thier master/mistress, but themselves also. <snip>

Distance is an issue for me, as well - it'd take an exceptional slave to pique my interest if I'm going to have to exercise that much patience between visits - I don't much like cyber d/s.

But the financial bit - that may be one of the differences between a slave and a sub, but when claiming/collaring a slave, I've never thought of it as an issue.

The last slave I claimed and collared was in financial straits, but was quite employable, and in fact, already had a job. When I placed them in my collar, I also took responsibility for their outstanding bills, health, etc. They turned control over to me, totally - when the paycheck came in, I determined how much went to what bill, how much remained available for pocket money, and what to buy for groceries. When bills were caught up and a surplus became available, it was at my disposal.

When he petitioned for manumission, there were no outstanding bills with his name on them, there were 4 figures in the account that had his name on it, a longstanding medical issue had been dealt with (and treatment paid for) and his Yule/Xmas trinket had been ordered - and we both had a sense of accomplishment for turning those finances around. Had I chosen, that account could have been stripped bare, but those outstanding bills became my responsibility when I collared him - doing other than paying those off simply was not an available option. They'd become my debts, in everything but name.

When we parted ways, I was gracious - I let him keep that part of my money that had been stored in his name. But as my slave, all of the fruits of his labor belonged to me, just as much as the debts that came with him did.

I cannot imagine dealing with a slave in any other fashion. Your mileage, of course, may vary.

_____________________________

Power corrupts. Absolute power ... is really pretty nifty.

TIES - pansexual BDSM social group in MN, USA - http://www.ties-bdsm.org

(in reply to BlkMSubneedsspnk)

Post #: 8

RE: When will a dom/me know when he/she has a slave/sub... - 2/22/2005 6:13:41 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

Maybe you should start reading differences between Doms and Masters, Submissives and Slaves. There are differences.

If you want a Slave you better be ready to pay for everything as you own her and in charge of her. This dosen't mean you buy everything that she wants but you do pay for the nescessities. You aren't providing a free ride to a slave. Think of chours and ways she must serve you. Don't forget that they are giving up the place where they live and such to live in what ever shit hole you may be dwelling in.

As a Master or Dom you to have requirements that you must full fill that varies from sub to sub and slave to slave.

MN Writer makes a valid point as well as the others.

Other than that don't forget you're male and being a Man comes first before being a male Dom/Master, Sub/slave.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to BlkMSubneedsspnk)

Post #: 9

RE: When will a dom/me know when he/she has a slave/sub... - 2/23/2005 12:27:30 PM

MasterEbonyDlite

Posts: 6
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline

Thanks, Stephan, for your advice! For the record, my slave/sub would not be eating bon bons, though scrubbbing floors wouldn't be a bad idea.....as long as she was wearing a
Frech maid's uniform! Lol

(in reply to Voltare)

Post #: 10

RE: When will a dom/me know when he/she has a slave/sub... - 2/24/2005 10:51:13 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub

quote:

Your post seemed like a male, but the avatar is female. I realize the avatar doesn't always represent the person, but when it is a photo, it is usually of the person in question. Just wanted to give you a heads up to my confusion in case you encounter it in the future

Profile says male switch.

You think he switches from male to female? LOL, that's a new take on a switch for me!

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 11

RE: When will a dom/me know when he/she has a slave/sub... - 2/25/2005 6:09:00 AM

Darthbetta

Posts: 314
Joined: 12/16/2004
Status: offline

Too many of the profiles that I have read from those who want to be slaves are from those who have no job or any means of financial income whatsoever. I'm not greedy nor a golddigger, but I'm inclined to believe that any live-in sub/slave should have a way of helping pay their share of the rent, food, bills, etc. and not have this idea that this is going to be a free ride.

Once they are "stable in a household", then those things can be secured. Then again, some are there to provide a "service" and their payment for being in servitude is to have bed, food, clothing, etc etc.

If that is the case, then you had better not be "dead weight"..... nothing worse than a lazy underachieving slave.

(in reply to BeachMystress)

Post #: 12

RE: When will a dom/me know when he/she has a slave/sub... - 2/28/2005 10:50:28 AM

Voltare

Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline

Heh... I strongly recommend black high heels and a very short skirt to boot. Maybe a nice corset to finish the ensamble.

Stephan

_____________________________

http://www.vv3b.com/

"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

(in reply to MasterEbonyDlite)

Post #: 13

RE: When will a dom/me know when he/she has a slave/sub... - 3/1/2005 6:52:33 AM

BlkMSubneedsspnk

Posts: 15
Joined: 9/16/2004
Status: offline

Sound advice, Stephan! Why not throw in some fishnet thigh highs while I am at it? Lol Thanks for the tips!

(in reply to Voltare)

Post #: 14

RE: When will a dom/me know when he/she has a slave/sub... - 3/1/2005 7:46:06 AM

ruffnecksbabygir

Posts: 412
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

you mean i am suppose to be your slave AND work too!!

i don't like people who smooch off others...no matter if they are dom sub slave switch or whatever else they want to be, they better earn their keep! wether it's working in the home or if need be out of the home to help Master provide for the family, no one should get a free ride.

_____________________________

~hugs~
Babygirl

:Disclaimer: The above is only this slave's opinion:

"And Those Who Danced Were Thought To Be Quite Insane By Those Who Could Not Hear The Music" -- Angela Monet

(in reply to BlkMSubneedsspnk)

Post #: 15

RE: When will a dom/me know when he/she has a slave/sub... - 3/5/2005 8:39:39 AM

BlkMSubneedsspnk

Posts: 15
Joined: 9/16/2004
Status: offline

Let me assure you that:

A) I am a STRAIGHT, BLACK MALE
B) I am very serious about this lifestyle
C) I didn't find your comments about me to be amusing; in fact, I found the, to be very insensitive.

If you aren't going to provide some POSITIVE advice, then please reserve your comments. Thanks!

(in reply to BeachMystress)

Post #: 16

RE: When will a dom/me know when he/she has a slave/sub... - 3/5/2005 10:36:12 AM

onceburned

Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline

quote:

you mean i am suppose to be your slave AND work too!!

Yeah... that doesn't sound right. I bet it is a violation of union rules.

Oh, BlkMSubneedsspnk... a bit of humor is par for the course in these forums. It helps to break up the deadly seriousness and add a bit of fun.

(in reply to ruffnecksbabygir)

Post #: 17

RE: When will a dom/me know when he/she has a slave/sub... - 3/6/2005 7:07:27 PM

BlkMSubneedsspnk

Posts: 15
Joined: 9/16/2004
Status: offline

What union rules?! There is no such thing in BDSM (well, at least not in my domain)! Lol

(in reply to onceburned)

Post #: 18

RE: When will a dom/me know when he/she has a slave/sub... - 3/11/2005 9:18:45 AM

MasterEbonyDlite

Posts: 6
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline

Thanks fotr the tip and I'll certainly keep it mind!

(in reply to Guest)

Post #: 19

RE: When will a dom/me know when he/she has a slave/sub... - 3/11/2005 10:24:00 AM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Voltare

Heh... I strongly recommend black high heels and a very short skirt to boot. Maybe a nice corset to finish the ensamble.

Stephan

In repeating myself (from a recent thread, I can't remember which):

I'm partial to plugs held in by rope corsets that are anchored to posture collars for domestic duties (if I'm of a mind to pay attention). <grin> Sometimes they even cry while they work.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to Voltare)

Post #: 20

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