RE: Saying how you feel

RE: Saying how you feel (Full Version)

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Donnalee -> RE: Saying how you feel (12/30/2006 6:13:38 PM)
quote: You should be convinced its the right way to go. Anything else is delaying the experience you'll have to go through anyway. To avoid disclosing any clues or hints to the feelings you are holding back you'll end up holding back feelings that thoughts that don't even relate to the "held back" issues. You'll start hearing; "what's wrong?" and before answering having to censor yourself. Ultimately you'll avoid the issue, avoid the potential for slipping some aspect of the undisclosed feeling, you'll avoid the person. You're not ensuring success by keeping those thoughts a secret, you're just delaying failure. I never thought about it that way, but that is so true! That is so well said...thanks Mercnbeth. quote: But isn’t that why we are supposed to “master” ourselves in order to reign over another. Should a slave be deprived one her most remarkable and precious traits of all? I am of the mind that if you rob a woman of the gift she is most revered for; you have denied yourself the true essence of the woman. In her very service a woman in love displays her true feelings; a wiggle of happiness in her gate; a smile as she cleans the restroom and straightens the stack of his favorite literature. The passion in her love making; the selfless service that only a woman in love is actually capable of. When should she express it, this love; she should always express it. In the simplest of her tasks to those wonderful words that even the gruffest old man longs to hear. Don’t let these wall building men terrified to show their mortal weaknesses tell you that they don’t need love. Bull....I think your heart must be as big as your biceps. I especially love that line about the selfless service that only a woman in love can give. From the inside, I can tell you that being in love and service is a brilliant feeling, no matter what the task is.

natasha66 -> RE: Saying how you feel (1/9/2007 1:41:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: maybemaybenot For me, it is appropriate to say it when I feel it. Always. So for me, my Mom was right, you never know when you close your eyes if they will open again, make sure the people you love know it. mbmbn I could not have said it better.....

lighthearted -> RE: Saying how you feel (1/9/2007 7:41:29 PM)
I fell in love with Master rather quickly...in fact, he told me I would fall for him, and my immediate reaction was "who does this guy think he is?" I did tell him the way I felt, pretty much as soon as I realized it, but I have never been the type to hold what I feel inside, for better or for worse. if you feel regret over not expressing your true feelings in the past, then your best course of action is to learn from your mistake. you already know the consequence of not expressing your feelings - regret. try paying less attention to what you think is right and pay more attention to what you feel is right...easier said than done, I know. again, if you are trying to learn from your own past, it could be the key to the path you want to travel. I understand that getting other opinions is helpful in making a decision, but it seems to me like you are looking for permission to express yourself more than anything else. best,

FangsNfeet -> RE: Saying how you feel (1/9/2007 8:31:46 PM)
If you were a male telling a female how you feel, I would recomend a poem, love songs on a IPOD, and a delivered Message In A Bottle. However, you are a female expressing your feelings to a male. In this case, it's very simple. When he comes back home 1. Have food ready. Something beefy. 2. Have cold beer and frosted mugs 3. Wear almost nothing or just a silk like robe 4. Have an Action Movie or Best of Tyson/sports documentry in the DVD. 5. Have massage oil heated. After the massage and blow job, mention that all this was done just not out of service, but to show how much you care for him and then rock his world.

Shadows4Dom -> RE: Saying how you feel (2/15/2007 1:12:44 PM)
I'll agree with FangsNfeet on this one, but I would say go a few steps further. 1. Go on a getaway where he is in command 2. Clear your calendars for an evening an just be alone so u an him can be alone undisturbed ( dancing close, to slow dance music works well ), if you can't do this make your apartment over simply into a deserted isle . Gilligan style. 3. Meet him at work, wearing sexy clothes, greet with long sexy kisses. 4. When he comes home from work meet him at the door wearing only your birthday suit.Let him know he is in command.

MasterMataeo -> RE: Saying how you feel (2/15/2007 2:20:43 PM)
in my experiance the sub/slave shold be open in what and how she/he feels ,, but only if permitted by the Master/Dom, I encourage mine to be open with me in their likes and dislikes , thus allowing me the ability to make a better informed decision that will help benifit my house as a whole

Arastella -> RE: Saying how you feel (2/15/2007 4:46:18 PM)
I think any time is okay, personally.

andreaC -> RE: Saying how you feel (2/15/2007 6:19:36 PM)
I have never been afraid to discuss my feelings to my Master. He always knew i loved him, but just realized recently how much my love for him is really strong and real. We have made ourselves a promise to always be open, honest and say what we feel good or bad. Master wouldnt want it any other way, but to be upfront with him [:)]

NightWindWhisper -> RE: Saying how you feel (2/15/2007 7:30:04 PM)
For some of us saying "I love you" can be difficult. This may be hard to understand for many but I remember being told this: "My mother would pull me close to her face; she reeked of alcohol and cigarettes, and she'd say: 'tell me you love me." For this person saying "I love you," did not have the same connotation that it does to others. This is the words from a Blue Mountain Greeting Card that my submissive once sent me many years ago. It was one of the sweetest cards that I have ever received. She wrote: "I read this card and couldn't believe how perfectly it fit my feelings for you and what I have been going through. Since it is so hard for me to convey this to you sometimes I thought if you had this card you would perhaps read it again sometimes when the going gets rough." The words on the card: Thank you for being patient with my difficult Moods. I appreciate so much how you've been able to put up with my moods I try so hard but sometimes my moods get the best of me; I get sad because I think you should understand and comfort me. Yet I know you can't understand when I shut you out; You can't comfort me if I refuse to let you... Sometimes I feel like crying for no reason at all I realize that's hard to understand but it's my way of letting go of all the anger, hurt, and frustration that's inside me. I let things around me influence the way that I act; I let the past in, and my feelings from then get tangled up with my feelings now. I guess this has to happen sometimes, and I know it hurts you. But it's part of growing learning and giving. Thank you for understanding when I'm quite and for bing patient when you're frustrated with me because without you my life would be incomplete Always remember that I love you ~Kelly S. Murray. Is short, it's appropriate to express your love, in your own way, when you are ready and a wise dominant will always recognize it even if the words get stuck....

agirl -> RE: Saying how you feel (2/16/2007 10:15:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie I am required to tell him what I am thinking and feeling as it pertains to us at all times. This has been a rule from the start. So the answer to your question was already provided to me in the beginning. Having said that, I did not want to love him. I did not want to admit to loving him. I was scared to death to love him. And I can remember clear as day when I finally told him I did. It was a few months into the relationship and he asked what was on my mind. I said I was afraid to tell him. He said "Tell me" and reminded me that I am required to tell him. I said "I am afraid to tell you that I love you." Ha! There's a chicken-shit way of saying it. He asked what I was afraid of, and I told him - I did not want to be that vulnerable to someone. He said, "Well do you?" I said "Yes." He said "Then I think you should say it." I trembled and cried and was all dramatic about it, and then said it: "I love you, Master, I love you." He asked me if the world fell apart for having said it? Did lightening strike me down and kill me? And if I was still scared for having said it? I said no, none of those things; rather I was relieved. So, it was out of my system, and I have been telling him repeatedly ever since. The thing is, the emotion already exists. Not saying it does not deny its existance. Saying it brings it to light, and makes it ok and real. Saying it uncovered the big cloud I had placed over it, and made it not seem so ominous. It took the drama away. I also remember how afraid I was to say I loved M. I probably still have the letter. It wasn't so much the love word that was so difficult , but facing the fact that I was attached in a way that made me feel so extremely vulnerable. agirl

agirl -> RE: Saying how you feel (2/16/2007 10:56:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bosn quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie Being that "relationship" means the state of relating to another, a Master does indeed have a relationship with his slaves. The degree to which he chooses to relate is entirely up to him. Some Masters enjoy a romantic type relationship with their slaves. Mine, however, does not. Love does not equal romance, and I don't confuse the two. Have you never felt affection for a pet? Semantics again. But since you show that you do know what I'm talking about... Yes. Of course I develop some affection for my slaves. And they are rewarded for doing well. I am, however, very careful that it does not grow into anything else because it is my experience that once the "romantic" relationship starts, so do the expectations... the special perks... Bosn I also separate romance from love. I don't know what loving in a romantic way is, really. M has never, ever said that he loves me........but I feel loved. The way you're describing it, it seems that you're speaking about a potentially manipulative situation. Just because I feel I'm cared for, doesn't mean I want to exploit it nor does it mean I'd be able to. agirl

ownedgirlie -> RE: Saying how you feel (2/16/2007 6:22:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: agirl I also remember how afraid I was to say I loved M. I probably still have the letter. It wasn't so much the love word that was so difficult , but facing the fact that I was attached in a way that made me feel so extremely vulnerable. agirl Bingo. It was the vulnerability that scared me at the time. Not so much now though, lol. Now it's the opposite -- the more vulnerable I am to him, the safer I feel. Go figure :)

juliaoceania -> RE: Saying how you feel (2/16/2007 9:02:11 PM)
I find myself more open to telling all the people that I love this simply fact. It is really ok to love someone and not be loved back. I think that is the deepest fear of saying those three little words... they are ladden with a lot of baggage. I say them when I mean them. Here is the thing, the last time I said this for the first time, I told him I was not saying it to hear it back. I told him I was saying it just to let him know how much he meant to me... no expectations, because the expectation of having it returned is what hurts... release that, and it does not matter how they feel anymore.. it just matters that they know they are loved. In my case he did say it back... I am sooooo very grateful for that. Now I do not say these words as often as I should perhaps. I do not want them to lose their power, and when I say it I mean it, and if he feels like saying it back he will, if he doesn't he won't... because it is said without expectations... and that is soooooo very beautiful to me. I love him even if he were not my Daddy, but he knows this.

chrissyslave -> RE: Saying how you feel (2/17/2007 8:58:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania I find myself more open to telling all the people that I love this simply fact. It is really ok to love someone and not be loved back. Just to add another flavor to this topic, I don't have anyone in my life at all whom I love,.. friends, family or whomever, and haven't for a long time (nor they with me). And for myself I doubt that being a slave will mean I will love my future master, although think I can admire, adore and fully appreciate one in time. If that was my goal I would first find one to fall in love with and the submit to him. But if it were to happen so be it, and would share it as needed communication as with all significant thoughts and feelings.

JustUsTwo -> RE: Saying how you feel (2/19/2007 5:01:00 PM)
for the OP: I hesitated a long time before telling Him I loved Him, because I knew that He was not ready to say it back to me, and I didn’t want to tip the scales. But then there came a point where I was actively not saying it most of the time and it was getting in the way. I knew if I didn’t say it, I was getting in the way of what I knew was possible between us. By saying it, I knew I could ruin everything. But by not saying it, I would definitely kill what chance we had at great love. So I said it. And burst into tears! (oh so romantic, right?) And found a way to love him while He was still finding His way toward loving me. Now we are both deeply in love with our life and with each other, deeper and deeper in this dynamic. I believe the worst thing any of us can do is not be ourselves, is try to be what we think someone else wants, rather than live as close as possible to our deepest truth, moment to moment. I have found that when I live out loud, as true to my truth as possible, no matter what results, sorrow or joy, I can go forward without regrets. She

sugarcandy -> RE: Saying how you feel (2/19/2007 6:17:48 PM)
Bosn: Many times we women, especially, call affection, devotion, caring, being allowed to serve Master "love". Doesn't necessarily mean romantic love like hearts and flowers. sugar

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