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Is it wrong to ask for this..... - 12/26/2006 9:59:19 PM

DeLust241

Posts: 22
Joined: 12/23/2006
Status: offline

I am a proud collared sub with a question. I have been collared now for over a month and I have been trying to wait like a good lil girl, But I need to know is it wrong to ask for my first scene??? Or is this something I should bite my tongue and wait for? He knows how much I want it and am waiting for it, what should I do?

Any reply would help.

DeLust, collared sub.

Post #: 1

RE: Is it wrong to ask for this..... - 12/26/2006 10:05:30 PM

SmokingGun82

Posts: 575
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline

I'd have to suggest talking to your partner. I wouldn't think it could be considered wrong to ask about it.

Best of luck.

_____________________________

It frightens me, the awful truth of how sweet life can be.
- Bob Dylan

Proper capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my Uncle Jack off a horse" and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse."

(in reply to DeLust241)

Post #: 2

RE: Is it wrong to ask for this..... - 12/26/2006 10:15:44 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

Nothing wrong with asking in my book...I guess "how" you ask is gonna make all the difference as to whether it seems like a demand or....

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(in reply to SmokingGun82)

Post #: 3

RE: Is it wrong to ask for this..... - 12/26/2006 10:17:05 PM

glidewynd

Posts: 91
Joined: 7/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeLust241

is it wrong to ask for my first scene???

Uhmmm... define scene. Are you talking something public? Regardless, it's always good to keep the lines of communication open. I'll second what slavejali said... it's really more about how you ask.

< Message edited by glidewynd -- 12/26/2006 10:20:55 PM >

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glidewynd

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This is Kitty.. Copy and paste Kitty into your signature to help him gain world domination.

(in reply to DeLust241)

Post #: 4

RE: Is it wrong to ask for this..... - 12/26/2006 10:25:23 PM

DeLust241

Posts: 22
Joined: 12/23/2006
Status: offline

Ok by Scene I mean.....anything weather it be public ot not, I dont know he plans but it's the waiting that is killing me. But I understand what you all mean by "how I ask"
thank you.

DeLust Collared Sub

(in reply to glidewynd)

Post #: 5

RE: Is it wrong to ask for this..... - 12/26/2006 10:29:01 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

No harm in asking respectfully.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to DeLust241)

Post #: 6

RE: Is it wrong to ask for this..... - 12/26/2006 10:38:29 PM

DeLust241

Posts: 22
Joined: 12/23/2006
Status: offline

Ok my fear is that if I ask I will only have to wait longer........and man time is a mean mean thing for me.
Any ideas of who to ask for what I want?

DeLust Collared Sub

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 7

RE: Is it wrong to ask for this..... - 12/26/2006 11:09:27 PM

hisannabelle

Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline

i'm still not sure what you mean by scene...do you mean that you haven't explored bondage or s&m or, well, essentially "kinky sex" at all? this may be some ignorance on my part of what scene means to the general population, because if it's the inclusion of bondage, s&m, or even just domination and submission, whether public or private, then pretty much every time he and i have sex it is a scene - sometimes things are somewhat planned out but often they're not planned out at all and we go where the wind takes us.

anyway, assuming that i'm guessing right, i am honestly surprised it -hasn't- happened yet. but back to your question - as others have said, it's always a good idea to ask respectfully, and to assure him that you are not trying to be pushy in any way and that you don't want this to -delay- the first scene, nor do you -expect- an answer, but that you're curious. maybe that will assuage whatever might cause him to want to delay it because of your asking. another idea would be to tell him that you know that he knows how much you want it and are waiting for it, but to ask if there's anything you can do to prepare yourself for it or to help him plan for it. :)

best of luck to you. i notice that we are around the same age (i just turned 19 on saturday, actually, not sure if that's reflected in my profile yet) - i don't know what your experience in bdsm is, but if you ever wish to chat with another submissive in the same age range, feel free to message me :)

< Message edited by hisannabelle -- 12/26/2006 11:14:57 PM >

(in reply to DeLust241)

Post #: 8

RE: Is it wrong to ask for this..... - 12/27/2006 1:11:52 AM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeLust241

Ok my fear is that if I ask I will only have to wait longer........and man time is a mean mean thing for me.
Any ideas of who to ask for what I want?

DeLust Collared Sub

Please see my response to your thread in the other forum.

To that, I'll add - because it's already occurred to you - that what you're concerned about could very well happen. If you ask, it very well could wind up being the last thing on his list of things to do.

So...what're you supposed to do?!

Try this:

Make it short, not drawn out at all.

Tell him how you feel - NOT what you want him to do.

Do not ask for a thing.

And then... wait.

That's it. Nothing more.

(When you tell him how you feel without asking for anything, you are, in effect, asking for something but you leave everything - including the idea of when, where, how, and even if to play itself - up to him. You leave him in charge.)

good luck.

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 12/27/2006 1:23:35 AM >

(in reply to DeLust241)

Post #: 9

RE: Is it wrong to ask for this..... - 12/27/2006 8:03:25 AM

onestandingstill

Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeLust241

I am a proud collared sub with a question. I have been collared now for over a month and I have been trying to wait like a good lil girl, But I need to know is it wrong to ask for my first scene??? Or is this something I should bite my tongue and wait for? He knows how much I want it and am waiting for it, what should I do?

Any reply would help.

DeLust, collared sub.

You took a collar from someone you've never played with yet!!!Why???

(in reply to DeLust241)

Post #: 10

RE: Is it wrong to ask for this..... - 12/27/2006 8:06:00 AM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeLust241

Ok my fear is that if I ask I will only have to wait longer........and man time is a mean mean thing for me.
Any ideas of who to ask for what I want?

DeLust Collared Sub

Being a sub means you have to wait til your Dom says it will be so. You talk to your Dom about your needs.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to DeLust241)

Post #: 11

RE: Is it wrong to ask for this..... - 12/27/2006 8:06:53 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

I am trying to reconcile this thread with your profile, and color me stupid, but it just don't connect with me, young soul.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to onestandingstill)

Post #: 12

RE: Is it wrong to ask for this..... - 12/27/2006 8:11:48 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I am veddy confused.

And the thread has me puzzled also.........

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 13

RE: Is it wrong to ask for this..... - 12/27/2006 8:14:15 AM

daizy

Posts: 13
Joined: 3/30/2006
Status: offline

May i suggest that you two just enjoy each other for the moment, and keep doing the hard core stuff that you do. That hard core stuff you two do is probably what most of us consider a scene.

I read in your profile that you are already looking for a bi male or female to join the two of you. May i suggest that your relationship is way too new to be adding another so soon. Get your own relationship strong. Seems that more communication is needed between your and your Dom. You are both very young. You have time to concentrate on just the two of you before trying to add another.

(in reply to DeLust241)

Post #: 14

RE: Is it wrong to ask for this..... - 12/27/2006 8:29:56 AM

MsBearlee

Posts: 1032
Joined: 2/15/2006
Status: offline

Let's see: you're both very young yet he's a master. You've been collared for a month, but never played with him; yet are (according to the profile) into some very hard core stuff? You've been together a month, never played...and are looking for a third? You want to play, but come to a chatroom to ask how to talk to him?

Dang, girl... This ain't no game. I think you should sit down and have a chat with the guy about what the heck it is you two are doing.

...but that's just me,
B

(in reply to DeLust241)

Post #: 15

RE: Is it wrong to ask for this..... - 12/27/2006 8:39:12 AM

FemWillUseYou

Posts: 14
Joined: 9/10/2005
Status: offline

I think something smells fishy about the whole thing myself

(in reply to MsBearlee)

Post #: 16

RE: Is it wrong to ask for this..... - 12/27/2006 9:00:27 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Well who is the guy supporting her MacGuffies, I wonder? Some social worker or what?

Curiously,
Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to MsBearlee)

Post #: 17

RE: Is it wrong to ask for this..... - 12/27/2006 9:55:50 AM

DeLust241

Posts: 22
Joined: 12/23/2006
Status: offline

wow before this goes on.

Our relationship is a year old but I have only been Collared a month. And I havent had a scene as a Collared sub. Do you understand now what I mean?

DeLust Collared Sub.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 18

RE: Is it wrong to ask for this..... - 12/27/2006 11:21:07 AM

onestandingstill

Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeLust241

wow before this goes on.

Our relationship is a year old but I have only been Collared a month. And I haven't had a scene as a Collared sub. Do you understand now what I mean?

DeLust Collared Sub.

Again if you have not played with him why would you take his collar???
You do know a collar is like unto a wedding band don't you?
Do you know him enough to have married him if you two don't even play?
What was your reason inside your heart that made you decide to accept his collar ?

Enough berating you, I'd say mention how much you desire to play as his collared sub and leave it to him to play or not.
Now it's about his pleasure more than yours since you're collared.
If it pleases him to play with you you mentioning how much you want to will prompt him to play. If he does not want to you'll just have to wait till he does.
suzanne

(in reply to DeLust241)

Post #: 19

RE: Is it wrong to ask for this..... - 12/27/2006 11:35:40 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I am left wondering if perhaps inexperience and insecurities have anything to do with all of this.

"I wanna do something but I have no clue what the hell to do. I am scared I will do something wrong." stuff like that.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to onestandingstill)

Post #: 20

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