classykindasassy -> RE: am i a sub or not? (1/1/2007 4:44:58 PM)
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I know for myself that I'm a sub because I am not motivated to want the kind of control my Dom wants. I am not motivated to be a strong top, even though i possess a lot of sexual and sensual power. It is WORK for me to take charge, more work for me than it would be for him. I am content to let him control things. I do get testy from time to time, but it's more of a test than a fight. The degree of control he enjoys over me I find makes me feel cared for and protected, not suppressed. As far as how much of your life is defined by this, you should feel free to have that go how you want. Some people live for 24/7, for some it's just about the scene and real life in the relationship is another compartment that has nothing to do with bdsm or power exchange. I am a sub, yet in social arenas outside my relationship, I am often looked to for leadership because of my self-assurance in life. You will find many subs that share this quality, and plenty that are shy and meek in public life. Takes all kinds to make the world go round.
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