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Slavery without physical discipline?? - 2/22/2005 3:45:25 PM

boyinminnesota

Posts: 3
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline

i view myself has being extremely submissive, but i am not really
into receiving pain. i guess i have a very low threshold level for
pain. When I attended a club event it seems like the main focus
of all activities is the Dom's physically disciplining the subs and slaves.

I am wondering if there are enough dom/mes out there that are not
into physical discipline that i should pursue finding an owner. What
do you all think.

thanks

Post #: 1

RE: Slavery without physical discipline?? - 2/22/2005 3:50:51 PM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

When I attended a club event it seems like the main focus
of all activities is the Dom's physically disciplining the subs and slaves.

What you saw at the club was actually play and not discipline. There are many people in this lifestyle who are not into pain at all. You just need to be upfront about what you are looking for. If someone states that they are looking for something different than you are, then just move along to the next. I am sure there is someone out there who is compatible for everyone.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to boyinminnesota)

Post #: 2

RE: Slavery without physical discipline?? - 2/22/2005 4:01:25 PM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

What you saw at the club was actually play and not discipline.

While not always true, I think this is a very apt statement.

Up until very recently, I had a great deal of difficulty assimilating what I saw at play parties and clubs into what I enoyed about the lifestyle. I am not a pain player and really enjoy the psychological aspects of wiitwd. et, I really enoy th epublic nature of the clubs and worked on finding a way to merge the two.

Last weekend, I did my first public scene using my style of play. It involved no pain, just a willing submissive and two talented dominants. It was very well recieved by those who watched and I really feel that I have found my place in the 'scene', though it isn't as a master single tail expert.

Speak your mind and you will find someone who will enjoy playing with you how you enjoyed being played with. You have to remember that some dominants get off on giving their submissives the kind of dominance they want...one of the awesome paradoxes of this stuff. *smile*

Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 3

RE: Slavery without physical discipline?? - 2/22/2005 4:02:38 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

boy in MN,

Keep in mind that many if not most of the people who attend club events do so because their residences may not allow them the privacy of corporal play. Even if they are a committed couple living together there could be other people or children living in the home. One of the reasons we moved from a condo apartment to a house was to have some privacy. Consequently we aren't at a club every weekend as we were.

Not all submisives are "into receiving pain". What you are referring to often called a 'service' submissive. Pain can still be a part of it as punishment but a club style scene is not necessarily a key element of the relationship.

As you pursue your partner make sure you communicate your desires clearly so neither of you will be disappointed or surprised. Are there enough doms and or dommes out there? Hell, all you need is one! I'm sure there is at least that many!

(in reply to boyinminnesota)

Post #: 4

RE: Slavery without physical discipline?? - 2/22/2005 4:07:35 PM

domtimothy46176

Posts: 670
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Dayton, Ohio area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: boyinminnesota

i view myself has being extremely submissive, but i am not really
into receiving pain. i guess i have a very low threshold level for
pain. When I attended a club event it seems like the main focus
of all activities is the Dom's physically disciplining the subs and slaves.

I am wondering if there are enough dom/mes out there that are not
into physical discipline that i should pursue finding an owner. What
do you all think.

thanks

Not every dominant uses physical pain to enforce discipline. There are those who do wish to incorporate S & M play in the relationship but not everyone has that desire. I think you have a chance of finding what you need as long as you are able to express it.
Timothy

(in reply to boyinminnesota)

Post #: 5

RE: Slavery without physical discipline?? - 2/22/2005 4:10:58 PM

RosaB

Posts: 852
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline

<I am wondering if there are enough dom/mes out there that are not
into physical discipline that i should pursue finding an owner. What
do you all think. >

We're out there. I myself am not really that much into inflicting pain unless it's a real need of my sub/slave. My personal preference is for service type sub/slaves. However, I'm not adverse to giving a good spanking now and then. : ) Cisipline and or punishment can come in many forms that have absolutely nothing to do with pain.

This is one reason I think those negociation check list come in real handy.

Rosa

< Message edited by RosaB -- 2/22/2005 4:12:30 PM >

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 6

RE: Slavery without physical discipline?? - 2/22/2005 4:42:55 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: boyinminnesota

i view myself has being extremely submissive, but i am not really
into receiving pain. i guess i have a very low threshold level for
pain. When I attended a club event it seems like the main focus
of all activities is the Dom's physically disciplining the subs and slaves.

That's because you can serve drinks and kneel just bout anywhere and do those service things and feel the dynamic all the time. Most people like to play and having toy rooms and equipment at houses isn't always convenient, so they pay money to go to a club to do more than sit around- they play.

It's not "discipline" usually, it's just play. It's just a scene together, most often involving impact play.

quote:

I am wondering if there are enough dom/mes out there that are not
into physical discipline that i should pursue finding an owner. What
do you all think.

thanks

There's always a lock to fit your key. Masochism and sadism aren't the same as submission. Many relatinoships do not "scene" or do bdsm play at all, they are solely service based. Trust me, if you can IMAGINE a relationship, a lot of people out there are already living it, and very happy about it.

(in reply to boyinminnesota)

Post #: 7

RE: Slavery without physical discipline?? - 2/22/2005 5:04:12 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

My pet isn't very much into reciveing pain either. So for her I use pain for punishment. Back talking, not washing the dishes, not answering my questions, and such earns her whippings.
Sessions and scenes can always be light. Feathers, Tickle Tourture, WAX, vibrator use, the kninky whip cream stuff and bondage is fun and sensual with very little pain to endure.

Attachment (1)

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to boyinminnesota)

Post #: 8

RE: Slavery without physical discipline?? - 2/22/2005 5:14:55 PM

MidnightWriter

Posts: 131
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline

BDSM - Bondage/Discipline, Domination/Submission, Sadism/Masochism

It's a continum, not a requirement. For many, the painplay (SM) is great fun. For others, the painplay is pointless, D/S is icky, but bondage is thrilling. Everyone has different things they resonate to.

At a club event or party, the spectator-oriented things are bondage and painplay - at least, they're the showiest. Lots of times, the audience will totally miss "that look" that makes the submissive's knees weak and heart race. Because of this, at public play, there's an unrealistic level of attention given to the non-D/S aspects. Don't let it fool you - there are plenty who are much more interested in the D/S than in anything else.

_____________________________

Power corrupts. Absolute power ... is really pretty nifty.

TIES - pansexual BDSM social group in MN, USA - http://www.ties-bdsm.org

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

Post #: 9

RE: Slavery without physical discipline?? - 2/22/2005 8:05:49 PM

Kinkypupper

Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline

I doubt very much there were being disciplined.. most discipline would occur in a non party environment. They were probably just playing.. or depending on the group the subs were painsluts and enjoyed the pain and the "sceneing"

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to boyinminnesota)

Post #: 10

RE: Slavery without physical discipline?? - 2/25/2005 11:12:10 AM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

While punishment can be made publicly to embarrass the sub, usually what goes on in clubs, as has been mentioned, is play. You're running into the problem that you're concentrating on the most obvious form of BDSM in the room. What about the boy rubbing his Mistress' back while she speaks to her friends, or the girl kneeling at her Master's feet holding his drink. There is more going on than you are noticing. Just because the service isn't as flashy as the corporal doesn't make it any less there or important to the participants.

If you expect to enter BDSM and never be punished, you should seek elsewhere. Not all punishment is corporal, though. Many subs would rather take a beating than bear the disappointment of their Dominant.

Also, not everyone is in to corporal punishment. I know a Domme who doesn't own a flogger. (She spanks with a hairbrush when she needs to punish.)

You need to be very clear in your limits and desires during the interview process, or you may end up with a mismatch. You might want to make your most feared form of corporal punishment a hard limit. That would pretty much get the point across.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to boyinminnesota)

Post #: 11

RE: Slavery without physical discipline?? - 3/2/2005 10:08:32 PM

outlawrider

Posts: 17
Joined: 3/1/2005
Status: offline

EmeraldSlave2:

quote:

That's because you can serve drinks and kneel just bout anywhere and do those service things and feel the dynamic all the time. Most people like to play and having toy rooms and equipment at houses isn't always convenient, so they pay money to go to a club to do more than sit around- they play.

*******this is i guess what "my" problem is, trying to understand "play", because "i" serve all-the-time, in a 24/7 domestics service and i guess "i" get "my" kick from THAT. thank you..you are the first to see that.

There's always a lock to fit your key. Masochism and sadism aren't the same as submission. Many relatinoships do not "scene" or do bdsm play at all, they are solely service based.

******yes yes........thats me. service servant. no sex/no play/no romance. i serve to serve.
yes, thank you. no one else ever understood.
outlaw
still iso a "One"

(in reply to boyinminnesota)

Post #: 12

RE: Slavery without physical discipline?? - 3/2/2005 10:38:57 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

I would probably be very close to what you seek. I don't have an overt interest in pain play. I do enjoy bondage, and I can spank, flog, cane, humiliate and more. And I can use these for punishment. I do love CBT, but I can get that whenever, and wherever, when I am in the mood. I state in My profile that I am not a sadist (ignore My CBT kink here). I would have no problem with a good boy who doesn't need alot of corporal discipline. In fact, that would be a dream come true.
Just keep looking.
Good luck!

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 3/2/2005 10:44:02 PM >

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to boyinminnesota)

Post #: 13

RE: Slavery without physical discipline?? - 3/4/2005 12:18:07 AM

MistressJadeMTL

Posts: 168
Joined: 12/18/2004
From: Montreal, Canada
Status: offline

You definitely sound more like a "service submissive" -- which is primarily the type that I own. Although some of them do enjoy various forms of percussion or sensory play; they only receive it as a form of reward for good service, behaviour and attitude.

Some service subs are not at all into the more sensory aspects and get their inner "thrill" simply from the service aspect and do not *want* or feel the need to play, unless their Mistress requests it. Some may even put pain as one of their hard limits -- and that is perfectly fine...

Contrary to how some in the BDSM community might like to portray it -- there is no "right way" or "wrong way". However, there are some guidelines in terms of general communication/expectations that will save you a lot of trouble. That is why there is the SSC.

Overall, it is simply a matter of being clear in what you are actually seeking in a relationship, as well as what you are *not* interested in. You'll find that being clear and explicit will avoid a lot of unnecessary complications and misunderstandings later on... (That is why I have such a detailed profile, it clears out a lot of the wannabes and cuts to the chase.)

Good luck in your search!

Attachment (1)

_____________________________

~ Mistress Jade Dragon

HeadMistress - FemDomme Society of Canada: http://FemDommeSociety.ca
Montreal BDSM/Fetish Calendar of events: http://ClubFetish.ca/calendar
Blog - Adventures of a HeadMistress - http://femdommesociety.ca/HeadMistress_Jade

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Post #: 14

RE: Slavery without physical discipline?? - 3/4/2005 9:14:15 AM

outlawrider

Posts: 17
Joined: 3/1/2005
Status: offline

i often feel i have missed something.
i am a play virgin. and have never had punishments or disciplines.
i wonder about all this.
some day if i find a real life serious non pro domme i have-to-ask what it is all about.

but then?...i do as i am told, when i am told, how i am told, the way i am told.
that's why i am a virgin to the punishments.
have a good day, huh?
outlaw

(in reply to boyinminnesota)

Post #: 15

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