RE: Is it better to be dommed and lose, or not to be dommed at all?

RE: Is it better to be dommed and lose, or not to be dommed at all? (Full Version)

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NoPinkBalloons -> RE: Is it better to be dommed and lose, or not to be dommed at all? (2/25/2005 8:55:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MidnightWriter Am I being stupid for waiting for someone clearly headed toward 24/7 to date, or is it really better that I hold off until I see great potential before I ask someone out? Are the subs out there waiting for someone who is potentially "the one" (or "one of the ones", as I'm poly), or do they prefer to date with no expectations of long-term relationship, just because it's more fun than sitting home alone on Dungeon Night at the VFW? Personally, I don't ever consciously "look". I find that its like putting blinders on - suddenly I only see a portion of what's there. The best relationships I've had have landed on my doorstep when I wasn't "looking". I think there's a logical reason for that. When you're actively looking for "the one" (or the ones, as the case may be), it puts all kinds of pressure on both of you - pressure to be who it is that the other person is looking for, pressure to "fit", pressure to decide if this really is "the one" or not. Without all that pressure relationships have much more room to grow and develop naturally, without being forced into the little boxes we all tend to have lined up in our minds. Sometimes that works it's way into something wonderful and sometimes it doesn't, but at least eveyone has an interesting time along the way, without the stress and pressure of all those expectations.

chainedgirl -> RE: Is it better to be dommed and lose, or not to be dommed at all? (2/28/2005 4:38:03 AM)
There are plenty of submissives out there who are seeking the 24/7 thing. i was when i met Master. i was upfront about that too, that i was looking for something that would eventually lead to 24/7. He didn't run away (obviously), not sure that He knew if He wanted 24/7 then, but i went with my intuition about this man, and i was proved right. Many people want 24/7, just not in the first 10 minutes of meeting. You gotta wonder what this person is really wanting if they are willing to settle for 24/7 when you haven't even told them what you do for a living!! As has already been said, a relationship is a journey. It takes time to develop, to grow. It certainly takes time to work out if that person who attracted you to begin with is actually right for you. i mean, damn they may look good in pvc, but what about in the morning? Can they cook? Will they hold your forehead while you throw up? Will they cope with that cute, quirk you have of clearing your throat just before bed, which everyone else has said is bloody annoying? Do you feel you can drop your mask and just be with this person? You won't know any of this until you have started the journey and have been around the first bend and over the first hill. Master and i have only been together 2 months when He broke His ankle. He needed to rely on me to not only live with Him, but to see Him at his most vulnerable and still see Him as Master. It was a testing time for both of U/us, and He didn't know if i would cope or would run away screaming. W/we had only just started out and already the D/s had to be put aside and plan old nilla stuff was all W/we had for 6 weeks. But W/we both stuck with it and it worked out to be one of the best things that ever happened for both of U/us. Its because of this shared experience that He knew He could do 24/7 with me, but He didn't know that to start with, and i didn't know if i could do it with Him at the start. That took time. As has already been said. Be honest, be open and be Yourself. At the end of the day they can't ask for more than that.

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