Weighing Heavily on my mind

Weighing Heavily on my mind (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive

Message

fufured -> Weighing Heavily on my mind (12/30/2006 6:02:14 PM)
i am new to this l/s but as i find out more i am drawn more as a sub. i met a Dom on this site - the first one who actually spoke to me as a person and we hit it off. i even took my profile off. To get to the point, He said something that has bothered me, He said that when he owns me that he can make good money with me at play parties, etc. is it me, maybe i don't know enough, but this really sent a red flag up and now i am just so emotional over it.

crouchingtigress -> RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind (12/30/2006 6:07:40 PM)
red flag for me too ....unless you like that sort of thing. *talk to him, feel it out, there is definitely a difference between a pimp* and a kink.....one is fun, the other could be deadly.**

liljoy -> RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind (12/30/2006 6:10:50 PM)
sounds like he is not right for you unless you want to be pimped out. at our play parties no money is allowed to exchange hands so this doesn't happen

junecleaver -> RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind (12/30/2006 6:11:17 PM)
I think it's interesting people pick up on our internet lingo/abbreviations before they grasp half of the rudimentary concepts behind it. Talk to him about it. It would suck to go to a play party where you have to pay to play with everyone...

fufured -> RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind (12/30/2006 6:12:45 PM)
i did try to say something and His reply was that i would have no say once i am His - it is Hisdecision. made me feel like i would be going into the prostitution business. i really like Him but i also have to respect myself first and foremost and i feel like i'm being torn apart right now. Of course i am a big baby and take everything to the heart.

bandit25 -> RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind (12/30/2006 6:13:41 PM)
Red flags are there for a reason, dear. When he owns you? That should tell you something as well. BLOCK the sucker.

crouchingtigress -> RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind (12/30/2006 6:21:15 PM)
i am with bandit.....BLOCK....my thoughts are that if it was a kink he would want you to share in the experiance of it with him...but he is seeming very selfish with his motives .....he is also not taking into account (or so it seems) your discomfort. 2 big red flags.....[image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m23.gif[/image]

MrrPete -> RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind (12/30/2006 6:23:17 PM)
RED FLAG If he won't discuss it prior to collaring don't continue with him. I wonder what kind of partiies he goes to that he can "make money" with you. I've never been to a play party where anyone can make money. I'd move on to the next one [wildly waving hand to attract attention][:)]

MasterNdorei -> RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind (12/30/2006 6:24:20 PM)
It can be easy to fall hard for the first person who appears to understand you and your need for submission, but please rest assured he is not the only one who will understand these needs in you. If you are not open to being handed around to others, there is nothing wrong with that, it is just not your kink. There is nothing wrong with him that it is his kink, but it certainly shows a difference between the two of you. Like the others who have posted before me, i know of no parties nor dungeons that allow payment for services of any kind. This makes the exchange illegal, unless you are in certain counties of Nevada. It makes me wonder where he really thinks he will be taking you, or if he has any experience at all. He could be just shooting off his mouth about some fantasy he has, but has no idea how to make it a reality. In any event, you need to clarify how you feel about this with him. You may have chosen to submit to him for now, but even slaves have the choice to leave if the going gets too tough. Please be careful with yourself. You have a sweet disposition, and there are wolves everywhere... Master's dorei

bandit25 -> RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind (12/30/2006 6:25:26 PM)
Only you can decide to be his and, well, if I were you, the answer would be a big NO. Now, he can say that he was joking, but it's not a laughing matter...especially since you are so new. Stuff like that is funny after you've known each other for awhile. And don't forget, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING YOU DON'T WANT TO DO. Don't let ANYONE (and I mean anyone) tell you differently. You may not be with that person any longer, but you will be able to look at yourself in the mirror. Block him.

crouchingtigress -> RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind (12/30/2006 6:25:44 PM)
*quote:* I think it's interesting people pick up on our internet lingo/abbreviations before they grasp half of the rudimentary concepts behind it. i think she was attempting to abbreviate lifestyle...not doing a slashy thing

wm -> RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind (12/30/2006 6:30:32 PM)
Regardless of what anyone may think of his intended use for you, he is letting you know now. Nobody can tell you what to do, but it seem obvious to me that this is not a good match. Save both of yourselves a lot of wasted time. My advice is to let him know that you simply do not agree to this and move on.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind (12/30/2006 6:34:34 PM)
I think you got in too far and too fast. Any time someone brings up something you aren't sure about, immediately and directly ask them for clarification. Then decide if it's what you want for yourself or not. There are plenty of people on this board who would love to get used for money at parties, and plenty who won't.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind (12/30/2006 6:41:00 PM)
If you don't want to be pimped out (this is a fantasy for many), then you need to talk to your Dominant about it and set it as a limit. This should show you that there are many things that might be in his head that he is assuming he will get...as there are things in yours. Take it slow and wait for a significant period of time for a collar. Master Fire

YourhandMyAss -> RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind (12/30/2006 6:50:59 PM)
He's full of shit, There's no pay to play at play parties. He would not be makin money off of you at play parties.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind (12/30/2006 7:00:36 PM)
quote: He's full of shit, There's no pay to play at play parties. He would not be makin money off of you at play parties. LOL and you obviously have no idea what you are talking about. It's rare at public parties, although it can still occur in private between people or with auctions. And at private parties, it can most certainly be quite open.

juliaoceania -> RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind (12/30/2006 7:05:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fufured i did try to say something and His reply was that i would have no say once i am His - it is Hisdecision. made me feel like i would be going into the prostitution business. i really like Him but i also have to respect myself first and foremost and i feel like i'm being torn apart right now. Of course i am a big baby and take everything to the heart. Reading what you posted here, he is letting you know in no uncertain terms what will be expected of you as his property. I do not think this makes him "bad", but it is definitiely at odds with what you want. The best advice I can offer is find someone with as much compatibility as you can in your values and interests. He has been very open if he is telling you what to expect, it is up to you to say this is a boundary that you will not cross. I have limits, most people I know have limits (actually everyone I know has limits). You have a right to yours. If this person has desires that he will not forego for you, then it seems like it is a simple matter of incompatibility. He has the right to find someone who is into his kink... if it is not you, at least you know now, and not after the collar was put around your neck Good luck

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind (12/30/2006 7:11:11 PM)
I would say that if he is not willing to discuss what you might or might not also want out of the involvement, then he is not for you. The idea that a slave has no say in things is great... once the slave is SURE they are a slave. For a beginner who has no idea what her limits might be as a submissive, even considering full control and ownership is asking for problems. Since you are new, you arent even sure if the lifestyle, persay, is for you. Maybe you will enjoy the kink, but not the power exchange on a full time basis. Maybe you will like the TPE, but you will have limits. When you have no expeirence, you cant be expected to know what those limits are yet, and if he doesnt want to work with you to find them out, then you arent going to have anything with him. Yes, its a good thing he is open and honest about his intentions upfront, but thats a little too extreme a situation for a newcomer to put themselves into. Especially if at first glance it makes you uncomfortable and your issue isnt addressed... the Master might be very good, but he might just not be able to handle someone new. Not everyone knows how to deal with a from-scratch newcomer. Just my 2 cents, but I think you should cut your losses with him and keep looking for someone with a better fit. Someone who is more willing to lead you into the lifestyle rather than throw you in head first. DV

texancutie -> RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind (12/30/2006 7:18:22 PM)
You are an adult woman of 40 with life experience. It looks like you just joined this site today and met an online Dom, or is he local to you? Have you met him real life yet? I read one of your likes is the local BDSM community where you live. If you wish to learn more about BDSM, and find out what your likes and interests are...and even maybe make lifestyle friends, I suggest you get out there and try to learn as much as you can before getting involved with someone so quickly. You do not have to submit to him if you don't want to, or if your interests do not match his. I mean if he wants things that you don't want to do, what would be the point of getting involved? It is your decision until you decide if you want to serve him or not. And even then, you can still get out of it if you really want to.

hisannabelle -> RE: Weighing Heavily on my mind (12/30/2006 7:20:18 PM)
i would personally loved to be used for money; then again, that's my preference and it's something i've discussed with my dominant, and know he wouldn't do unless i were entirely comfortable with it. if this makes you uncomfy, there's a reason for that (and the "when" rather than "if" he owns you bit caught me, as well). "once you are his?" you being his is YOUR decision, and if you have negotiated particular limits beforehand and this is one of them, then he does not have that right. it seems to me as though he has little respect for you as a person, to so disregard your discomfort about this.

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125