huh... women beaters..disgusting# (Full Version)

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letmecollaryou -> huh... women beaters..disgusting# (12/30/2006 7:08:29 PM)

Just a minute before i read a profile of a female submissive wherein she has recorded these words," dont bother to write me if you are a women beater" For me this is something disgusting & disgraceful.She could have used soft words if she was not into torture or pain.Being a sadist i have seen subs begging for torture...Will you call me a women beater?I would like to know opinion of learned people regarding the matter.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# (12/30/2006 7:14:23 PM)

"Beat" is a word that carries a lot of stigma in the scene.  Flog/bite/pinch/kick/slap/whip and such can get people all fuzzy and warm but the minute you say "beat" we get visions of abusive dumbasses and unhealthy relationships.

And the fact is that plenty of doms really are unhealthy and abusive dumbasses who will use their authority to use physical violence as an excuse for "beating" someone.

I can't tell from what you posted whether this persons profile meant "Not interested in anyone who is into impact play" or "Not interested in any abusers."



crouchingtigress -> RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# (12/30/2006 7:15:08 PM)

its sounds to me as though there is a language barrier, she is not taking the time to differentiate an accomplished sadist with a violent abuser.
 
to me it seems she does not want to be with a man that does not have the resources mentally and emotionally to solve his problems as a mature adult and instead takes out his anger pain and mental health issues on his female companion. 



Quivver -> RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# (12/30/2006 7:15:58 PM)

Keep reading ... you'll find lot's of individuals who are closed minded in an open minded community. My profile (now that i've rewritten it) must also make some take offence (as the complaints roll in), yet I tried for Honesty in it.  Finding ~soft~ words is a talent that comes with time, or at least has for me.  I would like to think that many of the profiles that seem to be complaining have just been written without forthought.  but who knows... it takes all kinds.  shrug................ 



missturbation -> RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# (12/30/2006 7:17:21 PM)

Without the womans consent yes - with it no.
There is then though the debate on whether you are a 'true' sadist lol.
After all logically speaking a sadist relies on the lack of pleasure their 'victim' takes from pain and humiliation.



theRose4U -> RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# (12/30/2006 8:13:07 PM)

quote:

And the fact is that plenty of doms really are unhealthy and abusive dumbasses who will use their authority to use physical violence as an excuse for "beating" someone.


AMEN, how is it that these same individuals always seem to be the ones that the media circles around and tries to paint us all with that same brush?  Kind of like after a tornado they always seem to find the toothless, un-educated trailer dweller in a house coat and rollers to put on the news and go weeeellll goooooley this nader comes and the wind she was just a blowen and the roof came off our trailer cause we ain't got one of them shelters. [sm=banghead.gif]



HatesParisHilton -> RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# (12/30/2006 8:53:26 PM)

LOL, reminds me of a woman who was horrified at the raised stripes I left on her roomie's asscheeks, calling the woman with the stripes a "feminist uncle tom" and abuse victim.

Turned out later the woman making the accusation on her roomie only got off by being slapped on the face and being called terrible names.

This is another area where women into spanking differ from women into what I call "theatre play".



mnottertail -> RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# (12/30/2006 9:16:18 PM)

We used to just go out when I was young and get drunk, fuck, whatever........

Now people make up profiles...

How the world has changed.

Ron



Noah -> RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# (12/30/2006 9:23:59 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation
...
After all logically speaking a sadist relies on the lack of pleasure their 'victim' takes from pain and humiliation.

Patently false.

(this has been a public service announcement)



julietsierra -> RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# (12/30/2006 9:35:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

After all logically speaking a sadist relies on the lack of pleasure their 'victim' takes from pain and humiliation.


WOW! Whose logic  - and WHAT logic are you using? Cause my wonderful sadist absolutely refuses to play with people who merely endure what he hands out. He wants them there, actively participating, enthusiastically enjoying his sadistic ideas and oh yea...getting off on them ain't half bad either.

And if what I am is a "victim," well, color me victimized!!!

By the way, it occurs to me, can someone actually willingly and enthusiastically BE a victim? And does "omg, that hurts so good! PLEASE PLEASE Sir, don't stop!!" constitute a victim's cries?

Just wondering,,,

logically speaking and all...

juliet



Noah -> RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# (12/30/2006 9:55:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra

WOW! Whose logic  - and WHAT logic are you using? Cause my wonderful sadist absolutely refuses to play with people who merely endure what he hands out. He wants them there, actively participating, enthusiastically enjoying his sadistic ideas and oh yea...getting off on them ain't half bad either.

And if what I am is a "victim," well, color me victimized!!!

By the way, it occurs to me, can someone actually willingly and enthusiastically BE a victim? And does "omg, that hurts so good! PLEASE PLEASE Sir, don't stop!!" constitute a victim's cries?

Just wondering,,,

logically speaking and all...

juliet


You say victim like it's a bad thing.



julietsierra -> RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# (12/30/2006 10:11:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah

You say victim like it's a bad thing.



Yea, I know...strange huh?
I just got home, and am feeling oh-so "victimized" in a lovely lovely fashion

juliet 



juliaoceania -> RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# (12/30/2006 10:16:00 PM)

I term what my Daddy does as "beating" me. I have done so recently on my journal. So perhaps she did not mean it in a bad way.



marieToo -> RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# (12/30/2006 10:17:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: letmecollaryou

Just a minute before i read a profile of a female submissive wherein she has recorded these words," dont bother to write me if you are a women beater" For me this is something disgusting & disgraceful.She could have used soft words if she was not into torture or pain.Being a sadist i have seen subs begging for torture...Will you call me a women beater?I would like to know opinion of learned people regarding the matter.




I guess the chick in question doesnt dig laying herself out for a sadist.  I dont see the word 'beat' neccesarily as a bad thing if the situation is consentual.  But obviously this person sees sadists as 'woman beaters'.  Why would or should she use soft words where she feels that strongly about something?   

So you have seen submissives "begging for torture", now you've seen those who abhor it. 

Different strokes....



AquaticSub -> RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# (12/30/2006 10:25:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: letmecollaryou

Just a minute before i read a profile of a female submissive wherein she has recorded these words," dont bother to write me if you are a women beater" For me this is something disgusting & disgraceful.She could have used soft words if she was not into torture or pain.Being a sadist i have seen subs begging for torture...Will you call me a women beater?I would like to know opinion of learned people regarding the matter.


Sounds fine to me. Sure she could have used softer words like "Pardon me, if you are going to be hitting me in anger and outside of my consent, please don't bother me." But frankly, my concern is to why you are so bothered with it? The dominants in our lifestyle are not all good people and owning a flogger doesn't magically erase a violent and dangerous temper. She's on a BDSM site and the scant information you've provided us doesn't tell us if she is talking about impact play or actual abuse. I'm voting actual abuse because that seems most likely to me. Did you check her likes/dislikes list to see if she enjoyed flogging or other impact play?



HatesParisHilton -> RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# (12/30/2006 10:31:05 PM)

"Did you check her likes/dislikes list to see if she enjoyed flogging or other impact play?"
 
That makes little difference sometimes, as some men's definition of a real spanking could mean 100 HARD strokes of a wooden spoon, whereas most women would define 50 MODERATE (by male standards) handspanks to be a "severe" spanking (which it is NOT).

So the profile modifiers reall do not offer the elucidation which you suggest.




velvetears -> RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# (12/30/2006 10:38:03 PM)

i think she may just be using the term "woman beater" to mean a man who only wants to indulge in SM play with no real D/s outside of the scene.  She could also mean she doesn't want any misogynists using SM as a way to vent their hatred on her. 

As far as sadists go i think there are some, who i term "clinical sadists", who truly enjoy inflicting pain on their partners and causing them true distress and misery, with or without their consent.  Maybe there's a little of that in all sadists??  i know 2 sadists who are with non masochistic slaves and admit they prefer them over masochists, in fact they would not be with a masochist as it would take the enjoyment out of it for them.  The slaves say their enjoyment is in suffering for their Master, they claim to really not enjoy the pain at all. 

As a masochist i want to enjoy my pain lol..... but i also like it when they go that little bit too far and take something for themselves, it keeps the exchange alive and interesting [;)]



juliaoceania -> RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# (12/30/2006 10:41:01 PM)

quote:

The slaves say their enjoyment is in suffering for their Master, they claim to really not enjoy the pain at all. 



The thing is that technically this is a form of masochism according to a strict definition. Deriving pleasure, enjoyment, or satisfaction whether it be emotional or physical, from pain is masochism



AquaticSub -> RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# (12/30/2006 10:43:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HatesParisHilton


That makes little difference sometimes, as some men's definition of a real spanking could mean 100 HARD strokes of a wooden spoon, whereas most women would define 50 MODERATE (by male standards) handspanks to be a "severe" spanking (which it is NOT).

So the profile modifiers reall do not offer the elucidation which you suggest.




And then there are the women who liked to have their ass nicely tanned, enough to be red, bruised and have heat radiating off it.



I suggested no certainity but reasonable point. If she says "no women beaters" and marks that she lives for floggings and spankings, that would certainly imply that she is talking about domestic violence.



mbes -> RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# (12/30/2006 10:49:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HatesParisHilton

"Did you check her likes/dislikes list to see if she enjoyed flogging or other impact play?"

That makes little difference sometimes, as some men's definition of a real spanking could mean 100 HARD strokes of a wooden spoon, whereas most women would define 50 MODERATE (by male standards) handspanks to be a "severe" spanking (which it is NOT).

So the profile modifiers reall do not offer the elucidation which you suggest.



Forgive me, as I am still fairly new to this all, but---
why is what the women would classify as "severe" not, but what men would classify as "real" true?



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