What and why?

What and why? (Full Version)

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MasDom -> What and why? (12/31/2006 2:48:54 AM)
I,ve come to realize something. You either want to really submit, Or your one of those people who just wanted kink in a relationship. But when I go looking for some one who truly wants to submit. Woman think I just want another whole to F#^k. But just as well, when I go after the girl that wants kink in a relationship, She never treats it with any respect. Tries to conform me to her needs, and tosses me if she feels like it. Now first of all to me a relationship means a few things. You meet and at first you feel it out. Then she leaves if its not going to work. However if she stays, it means your trying to make it work out. After awhile you pass the Grey zone. You know, that spot were you were still digging deeper. And I,d assume by that moment people are supposed to try and fight threw the bad times. The problem is so many people here are bothered by fakes and ignorant people. So by the point I get introduced, their already pulling in reverse. Come to think of it. Their not what I really want, unless they calm down. So no skin off my back. But were do we choose which we really want? The woman who will kneel and mean it. Know it as her passion and choice. Or the woman who just adds that into the bedroom. All I know is what ever I choose to find. Its my firm choice, and the world can just handle that fact. I,m just annoyed by it all. All the posts on fake people. Maybe their not really fake. Isn't it possible were all just rushing in?

bandit25 -> RE: What and why? (12/31/2006 3:03:22 AM)
Sorry if this sounds a bit, um, odd, but are you writing in verse? It's a bit hard to read and I'm not quite sure what your point is.

crouchingtigress -> RE: What and why? (12/31/2006 3:04:54 AM)
aloha masdom, i dont see it as that simple personally, fakes or not fakes.....submission is something one cultivates like a bonsai tree, an intimate and intricate relationship that takes care and skill. you cant simply cut off the branches of a tree to the size you want and call it a miniature , well you can but it would die, you have to make a series of little cuts, over time,, making sure that between each cut sufficient time is allowed for adjustment for the plant, and all its needs are cared for during the process. so i agree with your last sentance...i dont see a whole bunch of fakers and posers as much as i see more unskilled cultivation and husbandry skills and a lot of folks that were prematurely mangled during the pruning process, and are pissed about it.

nephandi -> RE: What and why? (12/31/2006 3:32:42 AM)
Pepole would like to submit to different degrees, that dont make them fake, it simply means the need to subit waries from submissive to submissive, it is easy to judge that if somone dont meet your standard they are fake, but usualy they are going by their own standareds and can be quite serious by those. Think of it this way, i bellydance, it is a hobby that will get me in better shape, i try to get aboute 20 min of it done eatch day. i feel i am serious aboute this hobby, i want to be good enough to dance for my Dom, to dance to loose wieght and to get somthing new and interesting to do, ofcourse to a profesional dancer that dance for houers and houers eatch day to train to be the best, i am not serious. It all depend on the intent, i wish to be a amatur whit a fun hobby, the profesinal wish to be good enough to life of their dance. Just as some submissives will want to submit deeper than others, but the depth of submissions do not determine how serious they are, it only determine their intent. What is unserious however is not matching intent whit depth, if a submissive that claim to be a TPE slave just want to lie on slik maths on the floor and get a bit of spanking now and then and be the love pet of somone that will tend her, her wishes is not unserious, but calling it TPE is. It is all aboute effort matching intent.

eyesopened -> RE: What and why? (12/31/2006 4:29:29 AM)
Shoot, i've just been criticized in another thread for my belief that service and submission should not be limited to defined D/s or M/s relationships. Now i don't know wtf i am.

RedSavageSlave -> RE: What and why? (12/31/2006 4:44:20 AM)
I understand where you are coming from but let me offer something as well. As much as I am sure you DONT want to hear this..you are still somewhat young. I am not sure "how experienced" the ones you are searching for are in this lifestyle are, but if they are around the same age as you, it could just as easily be that they have not grown to the point of their submission that you would like them to be. This is a very difficult thing for people who are very self aware and have been through some life experiences to help them shape and define who and what they are. For someone who has not gone through those "tests of fire" I would imagine it is even more difficult. Not impossible mind you..but difficult. I dont know how long you have been looking...but keep the faith. If you are diligent in your search and keep your focus..I am sure someone will come along who will be just who and what you are wanting as a partner. However, understand that for many people..this search could be years in the making. That is just reality and beating up on either yourself or the submissives you come in contact with is really just counter productive to your goal. Good luck to you~

adaddysgirl -> RE: What and why? (12/31/2006 5:13:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eyesopened Shoot, i've just been criticized in another thread for my belief that service and submission should not be limited to defined D/s or M/s relationships. Now i don't know wtf i am. eyes, i saw that other thread and here is my take on it. For me to really 'feel' my submission.....to really feel 'fulfilled' in that position....i have to have a dominant partner. i know there are at least 2 things i need: 1) a dominant, authoritarian type of disciplinarian and 2) the bdsm kink. Now....going out right now and finding a vanilla guy to clean up after is not my idea of submission, particularly if he is not a dom in any way. Know how many guys right now would love a maid for a wife...or a partner they could just fuck whenever they wanted....or a partner who just says 'yes, dear'.....without any effort on their part....or without their being dominant in any way? Hell, that's most vanilla guys i know. There was just another thread about could someone stay in a relationship where one partner, for some reason, was no longer sub or dom. i for one said no. For me, i need to sub to a dom....not to some guy who's just a slob and because i'm submissive, i feel this need to be cleaning up after him. my submissive need involves more than that. But i can appreciate that perhaps for you (and others), your 'service need could be satisfied in this manner...with no other domination on your partner's part....just because it fills some need for you. i personally don't see that as less submissive but really, then who needs a dom? Overall, this is pretty interesting to me and might make a great thread to see how many others, due to their need for service, could feel submissive in a vanilla relationship with no other qualifiers than they feel submissive by being of service. Interesting... DG

eyesopened -> RE: What and why? (12/31/2006 5:39:34 AM)
laughs if i waited until i had a Dominant in order to serve i would be one frustrated woman! i find service in the type of work i do, how i conduct my daily life and maybe i'm a throw-back or something but i really don't see how that is so bad. Most things people talk about being D/s or M/s i've done as part of my "vanilla" life and can't find the switch that turns one on and the other off. i had hoped finding this lifestyle would put me in contact with men who are able to accept me this way but it's been a very difficult and frustrating experience because so many want me to have a list of specifics that "make" me submissive and so many find it difficult to understand that i just am. What's worse, is that because i am strong and capable, i'm still not seen as i am. Most days i just feel like a freak that doesn't belong to either world.

crouchingtigress -> RE: What and why? (12/31/2006 5:45:03 AM)
cool conversation daddys and eyes....

adaddysgirl -> RE: What and why? (12/31/2006 6:21:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eyesopened laughs if i waited until i had a Dominant in order to serve i would be one frustrated woman! eyes, i have not been in a D/s relationship since 1/05....and i have not had a date since then....nor have i had sex. This of course has been my choice. Why? Because although i know i could go out and get a vanilla partner any time, i know that i need a partner who can dominate and take the lead....which i see now is what was always missing in my prior vanilla relationships. Do i get frustrated? Well, let's put it this way....some of those vanilla guys look pretty dang good after almost 2 years of no intimate contact....lol. i find service in the type of work i do, how i conduct my daily life and maybe i'm a throw-back or something but i really don't see how that is so bad. i really don't see this as a bad thing either. Most things people talk about being D/s or M/s i've done as part of my "vanilla" life and can't find the switch that turns one on and the other off. i don't know if it's a matter of switching it on and off so much as finding a partner who can be the other half of the D/s. i guess i would ask how a sub can find fulfillment without having a 'D' but you are saying that even without a 'D' type, you could still find fulfillment through service. i really do find that very interesting. Since i have an interest in the 1950's household thing, i often think of June Cleaver. Now while she may pick up after Ward, for me, if Ward wasn't dominant in the ways i need as well, then there would be no June as we know her today....lol. For me, there's a certain 'balance' that needs to be attained for me to feel fulfilled....and that is where the vanilla is lacking. i had hoped finding this lifestyle would put me in contact with men who are able to accept me this way but it's been a very difficult and frustrating experience because so many want me to have a list of specifics that "make" me submissive and so many find it difficult to understand that i just am. What's worse, is that because i am strong and capable, i'm still not seen as i am. Most days i just feel like a freak that doesn't belong to either world. Well, trust me, you're not a freak. Regardless of what we need, a suitable partner can take very long to find. i personally don't see that as a bad thing though. i guess i just have faith that someday, perhaps when i least expect it, what i desire will come to fruition. Trust me, you're not alone [&:] DG

adaddysgirl -> RE: What and why? (12/31/2006 6:26:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress cool conversation daddys and eyes.... It is interesting, isn't it crouch? i like to know more about this so as not to risk hijacking this thread (too much...lol)....i just might have to start a new one [:)] DG

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: What and why? (12/31/2006 8:17:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eyesopened Shoot, i've just been criticized in another thread for my belief that service and submission should not be limited to defined D/s or M/s relationships. Now i don't know wtf i am. Chica you were so not. I was TEASING (hence the winking face) about the idea that we can expect vanillas to do mundane things like picking up laundry, but somehow doms get a free pass. It was a self-referential ironic statement of humor. Had NOTHING to do with you or your beliefs in service. Yeesh.

MsKatHouston -> RE: What and why? (12/31/2006 8:30:40 AM)
(quick reply) You can't change other people, only work on yourself. It often takes some time to find the perfect person for you and you might have to go through kissing a lot of frogs before you get to your princess. Don't settle. But, have some fun getting involved in your community, networking and meeting people. It will come eventually and when it does, you'll be glad you didn't settle for one who did not meet all your needs (or you theirs)

Celeste43 -> RE: What and why? (12/31/2006 8:37:13 AM)
I'm a submissive, I'm just not your submissive. And sometimes it really is that simple. You don't inspire her to submit, and not feeling any connection between you doesn't make her a fake, it makes her a human who needs a relationship that fulfills her needs. If you keep getting shot down repeatedly, and being told the same reason why, then I suggest the answer to your relationship woes lies in you.

justheather -> RE: What and why? (12/31/2006 8:43:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress submission is something one cultivates like a bonsai tree, an intimate and intricate relationship that takes care and skill. you cant simply cut off the branches of a tree to the size you want and call it a miniature , well you can but it would die, you have to make a series of little cuts, over time,, making sure that between each cut sufficient time is allowed for adjustment for the plant, and all its needs are cared for during the process. This is a lovely analogy. Thank you so much for sharing it.

eyesopened -> RE: What and why? (1/1/2007 4:21:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: ORIGINAL: eyesopened Shoot, i've just been criticized in another thread for my belief that service and submission should not be limited to defined D/s or M/s relationships. Now i don't know wtf i am. Chica you were so not. I was TEASING (hence the winking face) about the idea that we can expect vanillas to do mundane things like picking up laundry, but somehow doms get a free pass. It was a self-referential ironic statement of humor. Had NOTHING to do with you or your beliefs in service. Yeesh. Sorry if i misunderstood, LA but i was thinking more of the other posts. However, water under the bridge and all that. Happy New Year

WorldofSilence -> RE: What and why? (1/1/2007 5:01:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress you cant simply cut off the branches of a tree to the size you want and call it a miniature , well you can but it would die, you have to make a series of little cuts, over time,, making sure that between each cut sufficient time is allowed for adjustment for the plant, and all its needs are cared for during the process. I Have to admit this is a beautiful way of thinking so I'm gonna steal it :D I'm not 100% sure how to add to this post, I've misplaced My dictionary and Thesaurus at the current moment and I'm not in the mood to communicate "hearing" style :P However wonderful post that much I will say, free cookie to anyone who finds My ruddy Dictionary... (Drives Me potty when things are misplaced) WoS

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