RE: Online Doms, are they really in control?

RE: Online Doms, are they really in control? (Full Version)

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Fawne -> RE: Online Doms, are they really in control? (12/31/2006 8:45:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessGreed nothing to do with cucumbers then?! Oh! I wish I were a Domme! I'd make him eat the used vegetable as cuke and cress tea sandwiches with a touch of butter and he will cut the crusts off - or else! One can dream, can't she (me)? Please continue, lovely [;)] <giggles> All respect, fawne

Stephann -> RE: Online Doms, are they really in control? (12/31/2006 8:51:12 AM)
No. Stephan

GoddessGreed -> RE: Online Doms, are they really in control? (12/31/2006 8:59:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Fawne [ Oh! I wish I were a Domme! I'd make him eat the used vegetable as cuke and cress tea sandwiches with a touch of butter and he will cut the crusts off - or else! All respect, fawne Isnt that what the Queen eats...altho Im guessing her cucumber would be slightly more 'fresh'! Who knows tho...Philip may like it rough!

BalletBob -> RE: Online Doms, are they really in control? (1/1/2007 7:02:51 PM)
Hi GoddessGreed, and Welcome to the group. Cucumber? OUCH ! I am glad your where you are, and I am where I am......LMCLAO I think the sub is in control, in this post, but feel as the Mistress should jut make the sub wait. Absence makes the Groin grow fonder. ha ha ha I also read yourprofile, and is it for real? If it is, I am sure you will get a couple thousand e-mails from male subs. I haven't written my e-mail to you yet, though. I figured I would be too late, and you would go blind from reading all the other e-mails first, and would never get to mine. I hate rejection.....Boo Hoo Hoo As for Fawn ! Cress Tea Sandwiches? And you say your from Joisey? The "STATE OF CONFUSION"? Well I am, and don't have that la de da upper crust background, though I do have some "CLASS" being into "BALLET" and all. blushes Welcome to the group too. Waiting for Mistress to use CB&T on me, with a Magnifying Glass and Tweezers, BalletBob

catfood -> RE: Online Doms, are they really in control? (1/1/2007 7:14:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 If you turn down the money and say no...then you are in control. very true Aileen. i am going to take a wild leap of faith and guess that there aren't any onlines dommes who won't take the money. rationalize it all you want, but if you are doing online domination for $, you are what used to be 900 numbers before the great age of the internet. as for the OP, i don't understand the online dom thing, probably never will. i'm curious what needs, other than deposits in your bank acct, are being met? fair enough, more power to you. but that renders your question "navel pondering." the guy paying is running the show. money stops, relationship ends. be well.

FatDomDaddy -> RE: Online Doms, are they really in control? (1/1/2007 8:21:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 If you turn down the money and say no...then you are in control. Brilliant point! It reminds of the scene in Schindler's List. Oskar Schindler: Power is when we have every justification to kill, and we don't. Amon Goeth: You think that's power? Oskar Schindler: That's what the Emperor said. A man steals something, he's brought in before the Emperor, he throws himself down on the ground. He begs for his life, he knows he's going to die. And the Emperor... pardons him. This worthless man, he lets him go. Amon Goeth: I think you are drunk. Oskar Schindler: That's power, Amon. That is power.

DominaSmartass -> RE: Online Doms, are they really in control? (1/1/2007 8:31:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rover there are even Dominants that maintain the control in their relationship, but occasionally choose to bottom (for the sensation, not to give up control).[/font] Damn! Why doesn't anyone ever believe me when I tell them this? All I hear is how I must not really be a dom if I enjoy bottoming once in a while. Don't bother writing back to tell me to ignore those comments, I do. I just appreciate it when this comes up and like to "ditto" the sentiment. Anyway, like I tell people all the time, "Oh, you like your slave to give you blowjobs? Well then, you like to bottom."

junecleaver -> RE: Online Doms, are they really in control? (1/1/2007 8:51:00 PM)
What's wrong with a submissive getting what he wants? If the agreement is 'I'll pay you to humiliate me', then the Dominant has control within the parameters of that agreement and the responsibilty to live up to their end. Who knows what all of 'these people' are doing? But if it makes them happy, kudos.

GoddessGreed -> RE: Online Doms, are they really in control? (1/2/2007 1:36:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BalletBob I also read yourprofile, and is it for real? If it is, I am sure you will get a couple thousand e-mails from male subs. of course its real! :-)

DevilsVendetta -> RE: Online Doms, are they really in control? (1/2/2007 1:48:52 AM)
My question is, if she's getting paid for it, and is therefore benefitting and happy from it, does she really care if she is in control?

Focus50 -> RE: Online Doms, are they really in control? (1/2/2007 3:03:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessGreed male sub messages his 'Mistress' She knows he wants to be humiliated, but she is tired, really cant be bothered to watch him shove a cucumber up his ass! She really isnt in the mood to think about new ideas for her sub..but she does it anyway, coz hes goin to pay her. She takes his money, thinks up a new idea to humiliate him (work work work yawn) She smiles to herself thinking she is in control coughs This 'sub' has just got exactly what he wants! he has paid money to his 'mistress' to get her to do as he needs! Who is in control?! Now I am very willing to take anything I can..I am also very willing to humiliate etc...but ONLY when I want to be amused, ONLY when I feel like it.....in My opinion there are far too many online doms out there, with totally the wrong end of the stick ( or cucumber!) Of course this male sub is in control if he's both instigated this scenario and is paying for it. Obviously this particular "Mistress" would have been doing something else (like sleeping) if it weren't for the money.... Money changes everything here! Your average hooker isn't out whoring because of a love for sex or intimacy, and neither is "Mistress" here.... Ick! Focus.

angharad -> RE: Online Doms, are they really in control? (1/2/2007 4:06:11 AM)
Fast Reply Online Doms, in control - until you switch the monitor off. But that wasn't really the question, it was a who's the winner in a financial transaction question from what I could see [:)]. Perhaps there isn't one, its just a transaction, simular to buying sweeties, perhaps you persuaded the shopkeeper to not shut up shop and sell you that bag of penny sherbets, you get the sherbets, they get the $/£. angharad

LadyJulieAnn -> RE: Online Doms, are they really in control? (1/2/2007 5:58:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: catfood quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen68 If you turn down the money and say no...then you are in control. very true Aileen. i am going to take a wild leap of faith and guess that there aren't any onlines dommes who won't take the money. rationalize it all you want, but if you are doing online domination for $, you are what used to be 900 numbers before the great age of the internet. as for the OP, i don't understand the online dom thing, probably never will. i'm curious what needs, other than deposits in your bank acct, are being met? fair enough, more power to you. but that renders your question "navel pondering." the guy paying is running the show. money stops, relationship ends. be well. There are plenty of online Dommes who don't involve money in their interactions. They actually do it because they enjoy it and may not be able to enjoy real time interactions (for a variety of reasons). Some have developed long-term relationships as well. There should be a distinction made between those who charge money and those who don't.. Be well, Julie

Hercuckslave -> RE: Online Doms, are they really in control? (1/3/2007 3:12:47 AM)
the one who is paying is ALWAYS the one in control. deny it if you will, but that is the fact of the matter. by defnition. yes, the one taking the money can choose not to, and choose not to engage in the services desired, but the bottom line is, the one paying is the one who sets the time and type of service. its no different than retaining an attorny for example. I present my case to an attorney, he/she can choose whether or not to take my case. but if he/she does, the nature of our relationship is that of client (the one who is paying) and service professional (the one taking the money and providing the service). who works for whom? who is in control? i think we know. now take this to the nth degree and we have the on line money domme. she is providing a service to one who is paying. if he doesn't like what he is getting, he won't be comin' back for more. who is in control??? no brainer there. M's m

Hercuckslave -> RE: Online Doms, are they really in control? (1/3/2007 3:19:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessGreed exactly..So the Dom that takes money for making her 'slave' perform tasks on cam, is not in control at all....he is! Where as a financial Dom, who takes money for absolutely nothing in return, and does exactly as she pleases, is very much in control, in my opinion.... there is no such thing. noone out there is giving money to some disembodied on line money domme for "absolutely nothing in return". nope, i can't believe that for a second. he is getting something in return or he isn't comin' back for more. and the same thing applies...the one who is paying is the one in control. there is nothing wrong with that. there are many fine Prodommes who do a great service to the community. but the key word is "service". they are providing a service to a paying customer. the customer is ultimately the one in control. the on line money dommes, not nearly as honest about it, but very similar situation. they are providing a service in exchange for money. the diff is most prodommes are trained and have knowledge about d/s and bdsm. most on line money dommes are clueless about it, but have heard they can get a buck out of desperate submissive men out there. they are for the most part, pretty faces with opportunistic motives. but again, not in control. they will dance where the payer tells them to dance. period. M's m

domiguy -> RE: Online Doms, are they really in control? (1/3/2007 6:18:22 AM)
In charge probably not...all of these dommes out here for the most part are nothing but manipulators who see this "lifestyle" as a meal ticket because they have so few skills appreciated outside of this "world." Obviously this is not true for all.(for instance if living together bills must be paid) but I do believe the exceptions are rare. So how often does someone with limited skills and education get to control the aspects of their life? If you haven't, then you should read the pathetic profiles of these dommes...the majority are blatantly begging for cash....I really don.t know who is more pathetic...the dommes or these weak ass pathetic subs paying these bottom feeders for their limited efforts and "talents"....Either way when money is exchanged both of you really become inconsequential for your relationship borders on that of "prostitute and john" and who really gives a damn about these types of people. out. D,G, p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers.

justheather -> RE: Online Doms, are they really in control? (1/3/2007 6:39:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DevilsVendetta My question is, if she's getting paid for it, and is therefore benefitting and happy from it, does she really care if she is in control? Exactly. Some distinction should be made between what she is doing for her income and what she is doing for her personal gratification. He who holds the cash in that sort of transaction is most certainly the one with the ultimate control. If she doesnt like having to jump up and be "on" when the customer rings the bell, she should maybe consider a different position and keep the BDSM stuff limited to her time off. They call it "work" for a reason.

MzTlaz -> RE: Online Doms, are they really in control? (1/3/2007 7:08:02 AM)
I think it's all a matter of the relationship....if there is one. I met a guy online once and we exchanged e-mails for a while then I agreed to a phone call. The phone call turned into a scene which basically was me improving a scenario that was his fantasy. Afterwards he had gotten off and asked me if I had too...HA! I was too busy writing and playing the scene to get off on it.....it takes a lot of imagination, verbal and acting skills to create a realistic phone scene. I pretty much thought after that that if I were ever to do that again I'd want to be paid for it. And no...I haven't done it again even though I have been offered money to. As for the control part....it's debateable who's in control in real life and personally I think control is an illusion anyway. It's much truer to call it "power exchange" in my opinion, and maybe that is just a transaction when there is no intimate relationship involved.

GoddessGreed -> RE: Online Doms, are they really in control? (1/3/2007 7:17:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Hercuckslave there is no such thing. noone out there is giving money to some disembodied on line money domme for "absolutely nothing in return". nope, i can't believe that for a second. Oh yes there is! There are plenty of 'financial slaves' out there, that just want to give gifts or money to a beautiful woman, just because he wants to spoil her and nothing more...he gets nothing out of it, apart from the satisfaction that hes keeping her happy.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Online Doms, are they really in control? (1/3/2007 7:20:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 Money changes everything here! Your average hooker isn't out whoring because of a love for sex or intimacy, and neither is "Mistress" here.... Ick! Focus. That doesn't necessarily mean the whore isn't doing it because they have no other choice or are ONLY doing it for the money. A pro-dom and a whore is just a profession like any other. I understand why some get confused over the complexities when taking about money vs authority transfer relationships, but I've never seen a serious issue with it. Obviously pro's have been around a long time, as have their client and it's a good system for them. If it wasn't, it wouldn't last.

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