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living in a vanilla relationship - 2/23/2005 9:12:04 AM   
SirKenin


Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline 		Can A/anybody see any reason why a Dom/me can not find Theirselves living in a vanilla relationship? Maybe They can't find a sub and want to settle down in a normal life. Or maybe Their partner shows an interest in it and only wants to play P/t.

Any thoughts?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: living in a vanilla relationship - 2/23/2005 9:48:45 AM   
sweetpleaser


Posts: 689
Joined: 8/5/2004
From: Florida
Status: offline 		There is nothing wrong with that as long as you are happy and satisfied. Most folks in this lifestyle, however, are not satisfied in a vanilla relationship but that doesn't mean you can't. If your partner will play p/t with you and understands your needs, it could work.

_____________________________

~ann~

It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.--Mae West

(in reply to SirKenin)
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RE: living in a vanilla relationship - 2/23/2005 12:57:25 PM   
celestia


Posts: 46
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		I can only speak from my experience of course but maybe it can be applied to a Dom/me as well. I personally live in a vanilla relationship, but my vanilla partner knows my needs and my desires to serve and knows it is a great part of me I can not set aside, although he has no desire to be apart of it whatsoever. This does not hinder our relationship at all and in all honesty when I am with a Dom/me it intesifies my vanilla relationship as well. Unfortunately I have been told that it rare to find a vanilla partner that can live with this situation so I do wish you all the best luck in your search for this, but know it does exisit and can be apart of this lifestyle.

celestia

(in reply to sweetpleaser)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: living in a vanilla relationship - 2/23/2005 3:12:15 PM   
Voltare


Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline 		The lifestyle and the myrid of aspects involved are far too complicated to just say 'with or without.' It isn't like if you buy vanilla or chocolate ice cream. Instead, it's like deciding what parts are enough to give you satisfaction. I will probably never meet a 'dream woman' but I can sure enjoy the hell out of the woman who is 'pretty close'.

Some people need 24/7, some need once a week, and some don't really need it - it's just a nice touch. Whatever you decide is fine, as long as you can live with it!

Stephan

_____________________________

http://www.vv3b.com/

"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

(in reply to celestia)
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RE: living in a vanilla relationship - 2/23/2005 5:31:14 PM   
Gideon147


Posts: 25
Joined: 1/7/2005
Status: offline 		What's most important is that you pursue a relationship that makes you happy. Whatever qualifies that, is what is right.

So what if You're not the 24/7 Super-Zen-Ultra-Dom. Don't sweat it. People change, needs change. Nine years ago I thought I was happy enough in a "normal" relationship. Eight years ago is when I took an assessment of Myself, and decided that wasn't for Me. I have had two vanilla relationships since. Both failed, but neither had anything to do with My being a Dom. I simply chose the wrong women with which to share My life.

Whatever floats Your boat, I doubt You'll find too many here that will judge. And for those that would, don't sweat it. It is, in fact, Your life to live as You see fit.

Gideon

(in reply to Voltare)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: living in a vanilla relationship - 2/23/2005 6:42:44 PM   
SirKenin


Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline 		Well here's the problem. I was married for 10 years in a vanilla relationship. At that time I didn't know I was a natural Dom. she just called me a control freak and thought of Me as dominating and controlling. It wasn't until years later that I found out that I was normal. There was a term for it. I finally fit in. I was no longer an outcast and a jerk. I settled into a 24/7 D/s relationship, which is what I found I wanted.

However, pet is now departed and although I have agreed to allow her to remain as My pet as long as she behaves this time, it's not in the 24/7 sense I became accustomed to (although that had it's problems, which I shared in another thread).

I have another interest that is curious in the lifestyle, and certainly likes many of the aspects of My personality and My kink, enough to pursue a relationship and W/who knows what else. The reason I started this thread is what happens if she decides that D/s is not for her, or My being Dominant causes power struggles? I'm concerned because I like her very much and given some time to heal I would like to pursue a relationship too.

Help is appreciated. I think I could do it, but it is a wise Man that takes the council of those that have walked in His shoes.

(in reply to Gideon147)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: living in a vanilla relationship - 2/24/2005 5:19:02 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Relationships have very little to do with how much people like or love eachother.

(in reply to SirKenin)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: living in a vanilla relationship - 2/24/2005 11:56:02 AM   
SirKenin


Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

Relationships have very little to do with how much people like or love eachother.


Would you mind expanding on this? you have piqued My curiousity and I would like to hear more.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 8
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