Safety & First Meetings

Safety & First Meetings (Full Version)

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unownedredhead -> Safety & First Meetings (12/31/2006 1:01:46 PM)
Was wondering what everyones opinions and advise is on first meets between a potential Master and slave. Lets say they live about 5 hours away so a drive there and back in one day is not advisable. An overnight visit is needed. Flying in the same thing. To really spend some quality time walking and talking and having a meal and just getting to know someone in real time. Trying to fuse months of talking and what you already know to the person right in front of you takes a few hours. So, if things are not going well, biting the bullet and confessing your feelings and then running off to a hotel by yourself is an easy choice. Though, terribly dissapointing and hurtful for both parties. But...what if it is going well. What if everything you hoped for is living up to expectations? What if all you really want to do is throw yourself in their arms? You know you may not get to see them again for a few weeks and if everything keeps going well, it will be months of planning with maybe only monthly visits. So the potential regret of missing out on that first night with them would be playing about in your head. But, they are still technically a stranger. This just can't be safe. What does everbody else think? Has anyone had this experience? Should there be a hard rule no touching on the first meet no matter the circumstances? Hoping never to be on one of those "missing posters", dina

windchymes -> RE: Safety & First Meetings (12/31/2006 7:03:07 PM)
Find a halfway point between your two cities and meet there. That way it's a 2-1/2 hour drive for each of you, spend a few hours, then drive home. Very doable in a day. After that meeting, you can see if the other party is interested in continuing the relationship and not going to disappear. If the relationship continues, you can continue to get to know one another and plan additional meetings, and work your way up to an overnighter...or long weekend.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Safety & First Meetings (12/31/2006 7:52:13 PM)
Well Wind has come up with the most practical and reasonable choice to go on already. But like all decisions, we have to decide what will work for us. I'd take a guess that about 50% of the people on these boards who met someone they were interested in a relationship with have scened and had sex with that person on the first day they met. But better to regret a single night apart, than to go against what you feel is right for yourself. If you think this could be a long term endeavor, one night isn't so bad. And my standard advice- look closely to how a first visit is planned, goes and follows-up- it will likely be a rubric for the part of the relationship that requires you to be distanced.

unownedredhead -> RE: Safety & First Meetings (1/1/2007 3:14:25 AM)
Very solid advise from both of you. He has suggested driving half way. I will look at the what you said LuckyAlbatross about the planning and follow up. Your right it could make for signs of the future. Thank you both of you for responding. dina

bandit25 -> RE: Safety & First Meetings (1/1/2007 3:28:11 AM)
Absolutely...2 1/2 hours is nothing. Do what you think is best. If you have safety concerns, then better to miss one night than regret it.

julietsierra -> RE: Safety & First Meetings (1/1/2007 4:58:45 AM)
lol... I'm not a good one to ask. While he was local, all it took was dinner - half way through dinner to be precise..ok ok...He walked in the door and I was hoping we wouldn't have to eat dinner.(see? I read that thread about lying.) Yep...color me irresponsible. We left that restaurant after finishing dinner (damn him, he eats so darn slowly!!) and went straight to a hotel. About 5 or more hours later, we left.... and yep... it included sex as well. Mind you, I'd never had even 5 minutes online with this man to get to know him, never spent hours on the telephone sharing intimacies. I knew what he did for a living, but didn't know where he did it. I didn't have his home phone, driver's license, social security number, mother's maiden name, lineage of his father or anything. I just had him. And he had me - over and over and over again. Oh yea.. and with no safe words. Must've done SOMETHING right. He's STILL doing me over and over and over again, and it's been more than three years now. All I'm saying is that the best you can hope for is that things will work out - whereever you meet and that you'll want to see him again. And then... let the day decide for you what you want. The only hard and fast rule I had for myself was that I wasn't going to do anything I didn't want to do, and that the only person that I was going to allow to influence my decision was me. After that, I was open to whatever possibilities the meet provided. (ok, it was kind of a given since two years prior, I'd had to fight myself not to immediately - like within the first 10 seconds of meeting him - tell him I'd be his if he'd have me) juliet

unownedredhead -> RE: Safety & First Meetings (1/1/2007 3:42:49 PM)
Bandit you give very good advise. It is only 2 1/2 hours. that is nothing to drive there and back from. juliet you are evil I love you! LOL. what you did is what I am afraid I am going to do. We talk on line for hours and we talk on the phone and even his voice makes me weak. I hope I can keep some perspective in my head and not just be overwhelmed by his presence. I was thinking that I should tell him my fears. Ask him to put the brakes on if he sees I am going to fast. He has kept me steady through lots of things in my, life long distance. I will not set up room reservatons before I leave the house. That would be a good start! LOL. I had been serously considering flying down and having a reservation near his place so I could go there at night and then we could spend the next day together as well before I flew home. But, juliet I am thinking after your wonderful sexy story that would be a bad plan. Espcially since he has horses and puppies at his house. It would be hard to stay away. dina dina

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