RE: attending munches alone

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defiantbadgirl -> RE: attending munches alone (1/3/2007 7:32:20 PM)
I didn't mean at the restaraunt. The munch starts there and then goes on to the dungeon.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: attending munches alone (1/3/2007 7:34:07 PM)
You're likely safer going to a munch than you are to a nightclub. Wear what's appropriate- most of the time they are at casual eating restaurants, so casual eating attire works best.

LadyHugs -> RE: attending munches alone (1/3/2007 7:40:52 PM)
Dear defiantbadgirl, Ladies and Gentlemen; In my mind's eyes I see, until you have a committed relationship with another--you are totally in charge of your personal affairs, to include submitting to others. That said, respectful exchanges are always met with delight and appreciation. Just don't be surprised if some others act like a rear area of an lower extreme regions where the Sun doesn't shine. Munch gatherings have usually been in public places where vanillas meet also. So, it isn't a place to be in your fetish attire. Casual is appreciated. Scene uniforms are not required. So, this is the time you can wear loud colors and Crocs shoes and enjoy conversation and food. Play parties are just that. Usually held in private homes and or locations that are BDSM friendly. The host/hostess should be known or identified and their rules are to obeyed. I have yet known in my area where a person was forced to play. You're not expected to play. But, if you don't play--please stay off the dungeon furniture as to permit others to do scenes. There is often an area where people sit and just talk up a storm and just enjoy talking and or networking. If you're nervous, just ask the host/hostess for advice. Usually when there are play parties, it is requested that you come in street attire and not fetish. You're also requested to keep toys under wraps, such as in a gym bag or containers and not crack whips and make a circus out of things outside. In short--being mindful of neighbors and their property. Once inside, there are rooms usually designated to change into fetish attire. Once the party is over, most change clothes and leave really as quiet as possible and go home. Respectfully submitted for consideration, Lady Hugs

junecleaver -> RE: attending munches alone (1/3/2007 7:45:32 PM)
I've never been to one. I've thought about it, but I'm painfully shy. And yada yada.

thetammyjo -> RE: attending munches alone (1/3/2007 7:53:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl I have received invitations to 2 munches/play parties in my area from local online bdsm groups. Although I am interested in attending, I'm not sure if it's safe to go alone. Is an unattached sub or switch fair game to any dom to drag off and torture? Has anyone had a bad experience going to a play party alone or am I just being paranoid? No, that's called kidnapping and is illegal in every nation and state I've ever been in. You might get unwanted attention but you can counter that by contacting the host or hostess and especially if it is a woman or the co-host is a woman, you can tell her about your concerns. Hopefully she'll have enough hosting skills to ask you to sit by her -- usually the host's near presence is enough to deter impolite attention but not all attention or sincere attention.

thetammyjo -> RE: attending munches alone (1/3/2007 7:57:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl How does one dress for a munch? I don't have much in the way of revealing clothes. Munches tend to be held in restaurants that would not appreciate revealing clothes or even fancy clothes. Sloshes are held in bars and the clothes can be more sexy or fashion fetish depending on the type of bar environment. Again, all your questions are best answered by the host/hostess or co-hosts. If it's going to a play party later you can always change once you are at the party -- any decent party will have space for each sex/gender to change in and to store clothes. Personally I'd recommend going to the munch a few times before you go to the play party. If you are concerned about safety you definitely need to get a to know a few people before you go to a play party. I, personally, wouldn't go to a munch or play party where there wasn't a listed host you could email or phone.

LeMis -> RE: attending munches alone (1/3/2007 8:21:59 PM)
I have been invited to attend local munches near me, Tampa & near Ocala (I think). I haven't gone (yet) as I am terrified of going alone, fear of the unknown I guess, lol. Well anyways, when I checked on the website of both munches, I saw that both stated that the munches where held in public places and to wear regular street clothes so as not to draw attention. Maybe some time I will go to a munch, but not at this time. Good luck and enjoy.

mystiquenz -> RE: attending munches alone (1/3/2007 9:25:51 PM)
If you are skeptical about going alone, you could ask if you could meet a nominated greeter of the munch group. That way, you meet, someone before the day of the munch, and when you arrive, they generally meet you outside and then invite you in, and introduce you to the others. As the others have said, there is always a first time, and all of us who attend local groups, will remember our first time, if we care to dust the memories. One of the groups I go to, meet at a pub, and play trivia over a meal and the other one, is a tad busier, and bigger in the city centre. Regardless of the people whoever they are, will make a new person welcome. Like so many other things, you get back from these organisations what you put in ... smiles so just turn up in normal wear ... it would be a bit out of character for you to wear a corset to a munch ... lol ... The other thing you may notice, is sometimes group members are "reserved" just like you are likely to be, it takes a while to get to know people. In our local groups, you are not allowed to go to a play party, unless you have been to a munch or something similar and that is a way for the members to protect their own, to a certain extent. I wish you well, exciting days ahead of you.

onestandingstill -> RE: attending munches alone (1/4/2007 4:33:42 AM)
I also went to munches by myself before and never had any problems. I guess it would depend on who else came to the munch as they're open to all lifestyle people. If you're nervious about returning to your car after it's done ask one of the event organizers to have someone walk you to your car. I'm sure they'd accomodate you. suzanne

swtnsparkling -> RE: attending munches alone (1/4/2007 6:19:50 AM)
Paranoid- I dont really think any Dom is going to drag you off and torture you. I have gone too 3 different munches and 1play party all by my lonesome and not once was anyone ever disrepectful/pushy/or an ass. Every one was very polite and welcoming.

eyesopened -> RE: attending munches alone (1/4/2007 9:51:52 AM)
The way it works where i'm from, the munch is just dinner and socializing and the play party is totally seperate and one wears what they wish to either. Ask the DM if there is a social area apart from the play areas, (usually there are) and even at a dungeon no one is expected to play, many just like to watch, others just socialize away from the play areas. It would not be acceptable to be abducted and raped unless that was negotiated ahead of time.

xonemasterx -> RE: attending munches alone (1/4/2007 11:17:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail Don't get drunk. Don't drool. Don't poke dominants in the eye with a fork. Pretend it is a family reunion with cousins you have never seen. Don't go looking to play or to be cajoled into it right away. Just because your cousins from Gumshoe, North Dakota eat their own boogers don't mean you have to. When you are absolutely sure that your cousins can be separated into booger pickers and other hideous sections, then you may start slowly, say just pick your nose. This made me snort. Now my coworkers are curious.

TPEOwner -> RE: attending munches alone (1/4/2007 12:37:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl I have received invitations to 2 munches/play parties in my area from local online bdsm groups. Although I am interested in attending, I'm not sure if it's safe to go alone. Is an unattached sub or switch fair game to any dom to drag off and torture? Has anyone had a bad experience going to a play party alone or am I just being paranoid? You are being paranoid, but it may not be your fault. The safety nazis do their best to terrorize all submissives, especially the beginners, about how dangerous the bdsm community is. It's no more dangerous than any other community, and probably less so. Yes, you will encounter your share of idiots and losers, but the only danger from them is being annoyed. The bdsm community is not a haven for rapists and murderers. Believe me, the media loves nothing more than kinky sex crimes, and if they were happening all over, we would be reading about it. If you are assertive enough to tell a creep at a bar or the office holiday party to get lost, then you will be fine at a munch or a play party. And if someone refuses to take the hint, there will always be someone more than happy to assist you. Munches have organisers, and play parties have hosts and usually posted rules. If anything, munches are probably one of the safest places a single female could go to meet people.

PsyVamp -> RE: attending munches alone (1/4/2007 5:12:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xonemasterx quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail Don't get drunk. Don't drool. Don't poke dominants in the eye with a fork. Pretend it is a family reunion with cousins you have never seen. Don't go looking to play or to be cajoled into it right away. Just because your cousins from Gumshoe, North Dakota eat their own boogers don't mean you have to. When you are absolutely sure that your cousins can be separated into booger pickers and other hideous sections, then you may start slowly, say just pick your nose. This made me snort. Now my coworkers are curious. You're reading it at work? LOL My coworkers have been curious since I wore my fangs to work... And thanks for pointing out the obvious, a fork would really ruin my day. To the OP. I'm going to my first munch and dungeon this weekend. I posted to the groups to ask specifically about that particular club and got a few good responses back from both sides of the spectrum. Damn Vampyre

subsidize -> RE: attending munches alone (1/10/2007 11:58:10 AM)
munches are a very safe place to meet real people...they are always in a public place and generally vanilla...

dawntreader -> RE: attending munches alone (1/10/2007 12:15:59 PM)
i am still laughing as well - what a visual! lol quote: ORIGINAL: unownedredhead quote: ORIGINAL: agorwarrior kidnapping and torture are not allowed at the parties. I just had a great laugh. Thank you Sir. I enjoyed that. Could you imagine? Right there at the restaurant? still gigging, dina

DominicsJoy -> RE: attending munches alone (1/10/2007 2:17:07 PM)
Munches are safe and secure places to meet and get to know others. If you feel threatened make sure you ask a group to escort you to your car when you are ready to leave. I attended many munches alone before meeting Master and only at the first was I ever worried. Take the plunge!! The fear of it is your worst enemy.

godiva26 -> RE: attending munches alone (1/13/2007 11:29:28 PM)
Ok stupid question time. How would I go about finding out about munches in my area? Or anything on my local bdsm community?

slavesrs -> RE: attending munches alone (1/13/2007 11:38:01 PM)
*To the Op* *I have never attended a munch alone for reasons of being " paranoid". however, once I got to know the group I attend then and only then do I feel I can attened alone.*

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