Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: attending munches alone


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: attending munches alone Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: attending munches alone - 1/3/2007 7:32:20 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		I didn't mean at the restaraunt. The munch starts there and then goes on to the dungeon.

(in reply to unownedredhead)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: attending munches alone - 1/3/2007 7:34:07 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		You're likely safer going to a munch than you are to a nightclub.

Wear what's appropriate- most of the time they are at casual eating restaurants, so casual eating attire works best.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to unownedredhead)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: attending munches alone - 1/3/2007 7:40:52 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear defiantbadgirl, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
In my mind's eyes I see, until you have a committed relationship with another--you are totally in charge of your personal affairs, to include submitting to others.
 
That said, respectful exchanges are always met with delight and appreciation.  Just don't be surprised if some others act like a rear area of an lower extreme regions where the Sun doesn't shine.
 
Munch gatherings have usually been in public places where vanillas meet also.  So, it isn't a place to be in your fetish attire.  Casual is appreciated.  Scene uniforms are not required.  So, this is the time you can wear loud colors and Crocs shoes and enjoy conversation and food.
 
Play parties are just that.  Usually held in private homes and or locations that are BDSM friendly.  The host/hostess should be known or identified and their rules are to obeyed.  I have yet known in my area where a person was forced to play.  You're not expected to play.
But, if you don't play--please stay off the dungeon furniture as to permit others to do scenes.  There is often an area where people sit and just talk up a storm and just enjoy talking and or networking.  If you're nervous, just ask the host/hostess for advice. 
 
Usually when there are play parties, it is requested that you come in street attire and not fetish.  You're also requested to keep toys under wraps, such as in a gym bag or containers and not crack whips and make a circus out of things outside.  In short--being mindful of neighbors and their property.  Once inside, there are rooms usually designated to change into fetish attire.  Once the party is over, most change clothes and leave really as quiet as possible and go home.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: attending munches alone - 1/3/2007 7:45:32 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		I've never been to one.  I've thought about it, but I'm painfully shy.  And yada yada.

_____________________________


"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to unownedredhead)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: attending munches alone - 1/3/2007 7:53:56 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

I have received invitations to 2 munches/play parties in my area from local online bdsm groups. Although I am interested in attending, I'm not sure if it's safe to go alone. Is an unattached sub or switch fair game to any dom to drag off and torture? Has anyone had a bad experience going to a play party alone or am I just being paranoid?


No, that's called kidnapping and is illegal in every nation and state I've ever been in.

You might get unwanted attention but you can counter that by contacting the host or hostess and especially if it is a woman or the co-host is a woman, you can tell her about your concerns. Hopefully she'll have enough hosting skills to ask you to sit by her -- usually the host's near presence is enough to deter impolite attention but not all attention or sincere attention.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: attending munches alone - 1/3/2007 7:57:45 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

How does one dress for a munch? I don't have much in the way of revealing clothes.


Munches tend to be held in restaurants that would not appreciate revealing clothes or even fancy clothes. Sloshes are held in bars and the clothes can be more sexy or fashion fetish depending on the type of bar environment.

Again, all your questions are best answered by the host/hostess or co-hosts.

If it's going to a play party later you can always change once you are at the party -- any decent party will have space for each sex/gender to change in and to store clothes.

Personally I'd recommend going to the munch a few times before you go to the play party. If you are concerned about safety you definitely need to get a to know a few people before you go to a play party.

I, personally, wouldn't go to a munch or play party where there wasn't a listed host you could email or phone.

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 1/3/2007 8:02:51 PM >

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: attending munches alone - 1/3/2007 8:21:59 PM   
LeMis


Posts: 9255
Joined: 9/24/2005
From: Florida
Status: offline 		I have been invited to attend local munches near me, Tampa & near Ocala (I think).  I haven't gone (yet) as I am terrified of going alone, fear of the unknown I guess, lol. 

Well anyways, when I checked on the website of both munches, I saw that both stated that the munches where held in public places and to wear regular street clothes so as not to draw attention.

Maybe some time I will go to a munch, but not at this time.

Good luck and enjoy.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: attending munches alone - 1/3/2007 9:25:51 PM   
mystiquenz


Posts: 330
Joined: 8/13/2004
Status: offline 		If you are skeptical about going alone, you could ask if you could meet a nominated greeter of the munch group. 

That way, you meet, someone before the day of the munch, and when you arrive, they generally meet you outside and then invite you in, and introduce you to the others.  As the others have said, there is always a first time, and all of us who attend  local groups, will remember our first time, if we care to dust the memories.  One of the groups I go to, meet at a pub, and play trivia over a meal and the other one, is a tad busier, and bigger in the city centre.  Regardless of the people whoever they are, will make a new person welcome. 

Like so many other things, you get back from these organisations what you put in ... *smiles* so just turn up in normal wear ... it would be a bit out of character for you to wear a corset to a munch ... lol ... The other thing you may notice, is sometimes group members are "reserved" just like you are likely to be, it takes a while to get to know people.  In our local groups, you are not allowed to go to a play party, unless you have been to a munch or something similar and that is a way for the members to protect their own, to a certain extent. 

I wish you well, exciting days ahead of you. 



_____________________________

blessings
~mystique~

(in reply to unownedredhead)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: attending munches alone - 1/4/2007 4:33:42 AM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline



I also went to munches by myself before and never had any problems.
I guess it would depend on who else came to the munch as they're open to all lifestyle people.
If you're nervious about returning to your car after it's done ask one of the event organizers to have someone walk you to your car. I'm sure they'd accomodate you.
suzanne



(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: attending munches alone - 1/4/2007 6:19:50 AM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Paranoid- I dont really think any Dom is going to drag you off and torture you.

I have gone too 3 different munches and 1play party  all by my lonesome and not once was anyone ever disrepectful/pushy/or an ass. Every one was very polite
and welcoming.

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: attending munches alone - 1/4/2007 9:51:52 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		The way it works where i'm from, the munch is just dinner and socializing and the play party is totally seperate and one wears what they wish to either.  Ask the DM if there is a social area apart from the play areas, (usually there are) and even at a dungeon no one is expected to play, many just like to watch, others just socialize away from the play areas.  It would not be acceptable to be abducted and raped unless that was negotiated ahead of time.  

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: attending munches alone - 1/4/2007 11:17:44 AM   
xonemasterx


Posts: 59
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Boston, Massachusetts, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail
Don't get drunk.  Don't drool.  Don't poke dominants in the eye with a fork.

Pretend it is a family reunion with cousins you have never seen.  Don't go looking to play or to be cajoled into it right away.  Just because your cousins from Gumshoe, North Dakota eat their own boogers don't mean you have to.  When you are absolutely sure that your cousins can be separated into booger pickers and other hideous sections, then you may start slowly, say just pick your nose.


This made me snort.  Now my coworkers are curious.  

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: attending munches alone - 1/4/2007 12:37:10 PM   
TPEOwner


Posts: 73
Joined: 9/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

I have received invitations to 2 munches/play parties in my area from local online bdsm groups. Although I am interested in attending, I'm not sure if it's safe to go alone. Is an unattached sub or switch fair game to any dom to drag off and torture? Has anyone had a bad experience going to a play party alone or am I just being paranoid?


You are being paranoid, but it may not be your fault.  The safety nazis do their best to terrorize all submissives, especially the beginners, about how dangerous the bdsm community is.  It's no more dangerous than any other community, and probably less so.  Yes, you will encounter your share of idiots and losers, but the only danger from them is being annoyed.  The bdsm community is not a haven for rapists and murderers.  Believe me, the media loves nothing more than kinky sex crimes, and if they were happening all over, we would be reading about it.  If you are assertive enough to tell a creep at a bar or the office holiday party to get lost, then you will be fine at a munch or a play party.  And if someone refuses to take the hint, there will always be someone more than happy to assist you.  Munches have organisers, and play parties have hosts and usually posted rules.  If anything, munches are probably one of the safest places a single female could go to meet people.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: attending munches alone - 1/4/2007 5:12:52 PM   
PsyVamp


Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xonemasterx

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail
Don't get drunk.  Don't drool.  Don't poke dominants in the eye with a fork.

Pretend it is a family reunion with cousins you have never seen.  Don't go looking to play or to be cajoled into it right away.  Just because your cousins from Gumshoe, North Dakota eat their own boogers don't mean you have to.  When you are absolutely sure that your cousins can be separated into booger pickers and other hideous sections, then you may start slowly, say just pick your nose.


This made me snort.  Now my coworkers are curious.  


You're reading it at work? LOL  My coworkers have been curious since I wore my fangs to work...

And thanks for pointing out the obvious, a fork would really ruin my day.

To the OP.  I'm going to my first munch and dungeon this weekend.  I posted to the groups to ask specifically about that particular club and got a few good responses back from both sides of the spectrum.

Damn Vampyre

_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to xonemasterx)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: attending munches alone - 1/10/2007 11:58:10 AM   
subsidize


Posts: 85
Joined: 1/2/2007
Status: offline 		munches are a very safe place to meet real people...they are always in a public place and generally vanilla...

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: attending munches alone - 1/10/2007 12:15:59 PM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline 		i am still laughing as well - what a visual! lol

quote:

ORIGINAL: unownedredhead

quote:

ORIGINAL: agorwarrior       kidnapping and torture are not allowed at the parties.


I just had a great laugh.  Thank you Sir.  I enjoyed that.  Could you imagine?  Right there at the restaurant?

still gigging,

dina




_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to unownedredhead)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: attending munches alone - 1/10/2007 2:17:07 PM   
DominicsJoy


Posts: 53
Joined: 8/28/2004
Status: offline 		Munches are safe and secure places to meet and get to know others. If you feel threatened make sure you ask a group to escort you to your car when you are ready to leave. I attended many munches alone before meeting Master and only at the first was I ever worried. Take the plunge!! The fear of it is your worst enemy.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: attending munches alone - 1/13/2007 11:29:28 PM   
godiva26


Posts: 4
Joined: 12/17/2006
Status: offline 		Ok stupid question time.  How would I go about finding out about munches in my area?  Or anything on my local bdsm community?

(in reply to DominicsJoy)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: attending munches alone - 1/13/2007 11:38:01 PM   
slavesrs


Posts: 26
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline
To the Op
 
I have never attended a munch alone for reasons of being " paranoid". however, once I got to know the group I attend then and only then do I feel I can attened alone.


_____________________________



SRS

" The Road To Hell Was Paved With Good Intentions."

(in reply to unownedredhead)
Profile   Post #: 39
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: attending munches alone Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094