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RE: Youth and Offline groups - 2/25/2005 9:22:59 AM   
Alexander


Posts: 159
Joined: 12/10/2004
Status: offline 		Welcome all new people. Teach them everything you know. Tell them all of your struggles and make sure they know they are completely normal. Don't wave a flogger in their face. Teach them about what's in your gut.

Advise to the void. -2005

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Youth and Offline groups - 2/25/2005 9:48:54 AM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Paulnz

The oldies try to run off the youngsters to avoid having to compete.


This is what we ran into in the first munch that we went to... and we were 25 & 23 at the time. Of course, I think part of the problem was also that we were looking to actually learn about the lifestyle and not just go to play parties, which is all the older fem bottom who ran the group wanted ... but whatever.

Not all groups are like that though, you just have to find one that isn't. The one that we attend now is run by a guy younger than us ... and since no one else wants to do it, they have to be nice to the younger members or adam will quit LOL

(in reply to Paulnz)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Youth and Offline groups - 2/25/2005 10:24:36 AM   
DarkQuin


Posts: 46
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hermit

Hello all, got a question that popped up of late.

I've been taking an 18 year old sub to local munches and some people have been twitchy because of her youth.

I was also told that 'anyone under 35 likely hasn't thought it through'

And we had a new girl who felt out of place because she was 23, s10 years younger than the next closest person in age.

Anyone else run into this problem?



What do the people who think that 'anyone under 35 likely hasnt thought it through' fear? That are going to go to a club and see their kid trussed up on a cross naked and getting the ass beating she's been needing for 10 years?

They need to get a life, if a person is 18 or older they are an adult and should be granted the right to do adult activities. If somebody doesnt want to be around kinksters under 35, then they can start an organization that is just for 35 and older.

My hat is off to those under 25 that find their niche in this lifestyle and haven't spent years in failed relationships wondering what is 'wrong' with them or waiting till the day they are free to explore their own kink.

Quin

(in reply to Hermit)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Youth and Offline groups - 2/25/2005 10:30:50 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

Anyone else run into this problem?


We've run into the problem and we're not even young!

Basically Hermit, the status quo wants to maintain the status quo. Most are afraid of anything new. Chronological age is a GREAT rationalization for prejudice. But if it's not only youth, it's newness to the area, or body type, or point of origination.

There's a great example of this at a lifestyle club in LA. Sure they'll take your dues, and volunteer time, but go to any of their events and try to interact and you run into a wall. Once at a Thanksgiving pot luck that beth and I attended the "group" was all huddled into a corner. Trust me, I am not a person who just sits there at a party. But the only people who wanted to mingle, where like beth & I, relatively new - the common theme of the discussion? Why are people in this group so stuck up?

The biggest hypocrisy in the US today concerning youth is that at 18 you can die for your country, but you can't toast the passing of a fallen comrade with a beer.

(in reply to Hermit)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Youth and Offline groups - 2/25/2005 10:34:26 AM   
quietkitten


Posts: 1082
Joined: 2/5/2005
From: Alberta, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkQuin



My hat is off to those under 25 that find their niche in this lifestyle and haven't spent years in failed relationships wondering what is 'wrong' with them or waiting till the day they are free to explore their own kink.

Quin



You have no idea how much I agree with this. I just wish I had been younger when I realized who I was... it would have made life a lot less painful.

(in reply to DarkQuin)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Youth and Offline groups - 2/25/2005 1:52:18 PM   
MrThorns


Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		We have a TNG (The Next Generation) group in Phoenix and I know of quite a few that have popped up around the country. I can understand the idea that many younger people don't want to scene around people far older than themselves because it brings up images of their parents.

What I cannot understand, are groups like this that ride the coattails of other organizations, then turn around and discriminate against the very people who are providing them with educational opportunities, play space, reduced membership fees, etc.

What I also have problems understanding, is what happens when their membership ages to the point where long term members exceed the maximum age restriction? Is there some "Children of the Corn" sacrifice to the "Blue Man"? No. They simply make an exception in certain cases. The exception is based on if you fit in or not. Wonderful! Another organization that claims to be open-minded, progressive and non-judgemental...as long as you don't do anything that they may consider ucky...or uncool. How is this any different than Junior High?

I have been solicited by these TNG organizations for membership in the past and even though I still fufill the age requirements to become a member, I think I would rather learn and practice my craft from people who are more concerned with knowledge and less concerned with how the other members look.

~Thorns

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

(in reply to Hermit)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Youth and Offline groups - 2/25/2005 4:07:32 PM   
Hermit


Posts: 9
Joined: 2/24/2004
Status: offline 		Thank you very much for all the replies and insights. Now to start contacting locals for the 'youth and skill' group and see who's interested.

(in reply to MrThorns)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Youth and Offline groups - 2/25/2005 4:19:49 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Lets face it, I've also met plenty of young people who are uncomfortable being around a majority older crowd.

I think the purpose of TNG is a good one and provides a good space. I use them like I use any other group, I take the good and leave the rest.

(in reply to Hermit)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Youth and Offline groups - 2/25/2005 6:49:56 PM   
Paulnz


Posts: 411
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress

quote:

ORIGINAL: Paulnz

The oldies try to run off the youngsters to avoid having to compete.


I think that is the least of the reasons that younger people aren't accepted. I'm sorry to hear that you feel challenged or unable to compete in a D/s setting. The BDSM lifestyle is about so much more than the outer shell, that to most, the youth doesn't matter. The person inside matters. My subs have ranged in age from 18 (last year for a few months) to 65. I personally prefer the older men. My general age used to be between 40 and 50. My current sub is 35. My preferring older men has nothing more to do with age than the fact that we have more in common because we grew up around the same time. I don't have much in common with today's average 18 year old. Does this mean I feel like I can't compete with them? Um.. no. I'm very secure in my worth in both the BDSM and Vanilla worlds.


You missed the point entirely. You're not competing with your partners, but with other women for the available stock. Most women try to chase off younger more attractive women. This can be observed in any social setting. It is called cattiness.

You make a huge assumption about what I feel challenged by. Your preferences meanwhile simply translated said ' lowering sights to what is practicable.'




< Message edited by Paulnz -- 2/26/2005 3:32:58 AM >

(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Youth and Offline groups - 2/25/2005 7:00:32 PM   
Paulnz


Posts: 411
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darthbetta


quote:

ORIGINAL: Paulnz

The oldies try to run off the youngsters to avoid having to compete.



So why is it that 39 - 55 year olds are constantly sending the "18-25" year olds the bulk of the mail that they get online ?


They are not competing with the people they write to, they are trying to attract those people. The ones they compete with are also contacting those same people. In a social setting they will size up who the competition are and try to drive them off.



(in reply to Darthbetta)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Youth and Offline groups - 2/25/2005 7:05:55 PM   
willful


Posts: 13
Joined: 1/29/2005
Status: offline 		I started going to local munch meetings when I was 18 and continued to do so until I moved to finish my degree (now 21). Although most didn't want me to feel unwelcome I was certainly treated differently. Like it or lump it there was a fairly reasonable age gap between the next youngest member and myself (7 - 9 years).

It was usually hard to be accepted and I had to goto extra lengths to "prove myself"

Thats life I guess :)

(in reply to perverseangelic)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Youth and Offline groups - 2/25/2005 9:44:55 PM   
Darthbetta


Posts: 314
Joined: 12/16/2004
Status: offline 		Just show them old fucks that you can take it and give it lust like the rest of them, and if they still are "poo poo " then tell them to shove it up their stuffy white arses in MOTLEY CREW FASHION !!!!!!



Make a big scene, then spray the crowd with seltzer........................... hoze them (non-fuckers) fuddy duddy's off and make them come to their sober senses.


HELOOO !!!!!!! BDSM IS BDSM! you OLD BAGS !


(in reply to willful)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Youth and Offline groups - 2/25/2005 10:46:24 PM   
NoPinkBalloons


Posts: 125
Joined: 2/7/2005
Status: offline 		I guess I was lucky. When I ventured out into the "public" scene/community I was young (mid 20's maybe) but never experienced any of this negativity about it. In fact, I probably experienced the opposite - people where glad to have me there, and while they were protective, I certainly didn't ever get looked down on or discouraged from participating. I wasn't the only one in my age group though, so perhaps that was why. Hell, being young and enthusiastic made me a hot commodity.

One of the munches in CT was started by a student at Yale, becasue she was too young to attend any of the groups or clubs. It's still going strong many years later.

_____________________________

-- Sherri

A hard-on does NOT count as personal growth

(in reply to Hermit)
Profile   Post #: 33
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