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Fourteen Things-50 years - 1/6/2007 1:33:52 PM   
mgdartist


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Joined: 5/13/2006
From: irving tx
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Fourteen Things That It Took Me Over 50 Years To Learn—by Dave Barry
  1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
  2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
  3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
  4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
  5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
  6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
  7. Never lick a steak knife.
  8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
  9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
  10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
  11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
  12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.
  13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
  14. Your friends love you anyway.

Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.


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RE: Fourteen Things-50 years - 1/6/2007 2:47:51 PM   
Marc2b


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I learned number ten the hard way (and I don't think she ever forgave me).  Now I never ask a woman if she is pregnant.  If she is pregnant and wants to tell me, she'll tell me. 

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Do you know what the most awesome thing about being an Atheist is? You're not required to hate anybody!

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RE: Fourteen Things-50 years - 1/7/2007 6:29:09 AM   
mastermargarita


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Thanks for the good laugh this morning Mgdartist...I loved reading Dave Barrys column in the paper.   I also got a big chuckle from this bit of wisdom from Lewis Grizzard; "Remember in the sled dog team of life, if you aren't the lead dog, the scenery never changes."
Take care


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Fortune Favors the Foolish

More ramblings from my demented mind.

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