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Sub training - 2/25/2005 5:35:07 AM   
PlayfulRaquel


Posts: 16
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
I understand every relationship is different but for some reason I can't get a straight answer on what exactly is involved in training a sub. Is there someone out there that can give me detailed examples on what this would involve?
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RE: Sub training - 2/25/2005 5:53:54 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Well if you wanted to train your slave how to prepare sushi you could either teach them how, or send them to a class for it.

It just depends on what you want to train them to do. Do you want to train them how to do a new skill? Do you want to instill in them a new set of values? Do you want to train them to look at the world in a different way?

Skills are more direct and take less time. Perspectives and values are far more complex and take a lot more time destructing the old ones and constructing new ones.

But it just means teaching them to do/be the way you want them to be. Most people don't take it seriously in terms of day to day interaction and usually mean things like "learn the rules and do them well" or "be prepared for whatever I want" but it's just a learning process.

(in reply to PlayfulRaquel)
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RE: Sub training - 2/25/2005 6:42:30 AM   
MidnightWriter


Posts: 131
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		There's no "One True" style of sub / slave training - it tends to vary, or not appear at all.

For me, it involves training in technique - how to make *my* version of a perfect martini, how to unobtrousively serve my guests, how to remember all of their preferences, how to take a hat/coat, how I like coffee prepared, the position I prefer when you kneel, how to approach me with what you percieve as a problem, massage technique, fellatio technique, ballroom dance, polite address, posture, leather care, how to endure more pain than you enjoy, how to heel, what I want to see in your journal, how I like my toybag organized, how the cleaning supplies should be organized, when to back off and let me do it myself, bloody mary preparation, and like that.

The little things.

_____________________________

Power corrupts. Absolute power ... is really pretty nifty.

TIES - pansexual BDSM social group in MN, USA - http://www.ties-bdsm.org

(in reply to PlayfulRaquel)
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RE: Sub training - 2/25/2005 7:21:04 AM   
TallDarkAndWitty


Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PlayfulRaquel
Is there someone out there that can give me detailed examples on what this would involve?


Training is one of my core enjoyments in owning a slave. I am a very formal trainer and train my slave in very detailed and specific positions, rituals, and dances, which I generically call services.

In my style, the details of any service is negotiated with the slave to make sure it is both comfortable for the slave and pleasing to me. (Comfort is a relative term, as not all services will be what most would consider comfortable.) In addition, during the intial training period, the service might be modified slightly as I saw how the slave wore the details.

For example, in my last training session with Celestia, we worked on two positions. One of the positions, the "formal standing position", was intially described as so:

Stand (formal)
Verbal signal: Stand
Hand signal: Open hand, palm up, lifting slowly away from the floor.
Position: Slave stands, feet together. Arms are crossed behind back. Back is straight, rib cage closed, shoulders down. Head is held straight; chin parallel to the floor, eyes cast down. Feet are parallel.

After our session, the position description was modified to the following:

Position: Feet shoulder width apart parallel with one another, arms crossed
behind the back with left hand on the inner side between the back and right
elbow and right hand beneath the left elbow, wrist straight and firm,
fingers together, rib cage closed chin parallel to the floor, eyes down,
shoulders back and down accentuating collar bone.

During the training, my slave performed the position again and again, each time I corrected her posture and position. I used both the verbal command and hand signal to make sure she responded properly to either.

My slave will be trained on many positions, rituals and dances as part of her formal slave training. The rest of her service to me (what I like, how I expect her to behave, etc) will be imparted in a much less formal manner, and not what I would consider training.

Hope that helped.

Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.


My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to PlayfulRaquel)
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RE: Sub training - 2/25/2005 7:46:51 AM   
Leonidas


Posts: 2078
Joined: 2/16/2004
Status: offline 		It really depends on the scope of the interaction, and the proclivities of the owner or dominant. For a sadist, training probably entails some form of conditioning the masochist to accept more intense sensation (commonly called "pushing limits"). For a fetishist (latex fetish, for example) it might involve exposing the submissive or slave to more intense forms of the fetish (going from latex panties to a latex vaccum bed where the slave is encased and cannot move, for example). If the dominant party is socializing the slave or submissive into a high-protocol culture (Leather and Gorean are examples), the slave is probably going to get some training in the protocol that is expected of a well socialized slave or submissive within that culture.

If the nature of the relationship is D/s or M/s, a lot depends on whether the nature of the relationship is episodic (the slave or submissive is only controlled by the dominant at certain times, and operates outside their control much of the time) or all encompasing. If it's episodic, the training the slave or submissive receives will probably focus narrowly on the behavior that is expected within the D/s episode. Positions, postures, manners of address, service skills, etc. that the dominant party finds pleasing or interesting. In an all encompasing (sometimes called 24/7 or TPE) D/s or M/s situation, the submissive or slave may also be trained in postures, manner of address, behaviors, service skills, etc., but in these situations, just about anything is fair game for training, because the submissive or slave is expected to serve their dominant or master in everything that they do.

Of course none of these are the most common form of "training". The most common form is where some character convices you that you need training and slaps a "training collar" on you so that he or she may proceed to spank/flog/crop/cane/plug/fig/wax/shock/fuck you for a while, before declaring you trained and moving on to his or her next "trainee".

Hope that helps.

< Message edited by Leonidas -- 2/25/2005 7:51:04 AM >

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Take care of yourself

Leonidas

(in reply to PlayfulRaquel)
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RE: Sub training - 2/25/2005 7:50:11 AM   
Knewitallalong


Posts: 7
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		Playful,

I'm new to the formal scene as well, although I have had three relationships that, now, I would define as D/s, but this was before I really knew what D/s or M/s was about.

Anyhow, I had kind of the same question in my mind so I'm glad you posted this, in my search for knowledge and information I have come across this:

http:

I don't know what the reputation of this person is with those that have been in the scene for a while but I found it interesting. I think for someone who is new to trying to find out how to be a good Dom, the verbiage and terms can get confusing as they seem, to me at least, to be somewhat interchangeable. So you hear things like "discipline training" but then you hear "discipline" and they seem almost the same (a bit too specialized to google). So I am still reading until my eyes sting and trying to find stable definitions but also examples of such or at least techniques. For example in the site above he mentions "Discipline Training" and says that he has his slave hold a ping-pong ball against the wall with her nose- but it's not defined as a correction or punishment, which I would guess it could be used for as well.

So maybe some of the veterans here might have some links to information on different techniques that that can be used for training, discipline or correction. I know it would certainly help me to have some examples of the mechanics and such to start to develop my own philosophy and training techiniques. I much prefer to learn from those who have gone before and then refine it to suit my personality.

And hopefully at some point I may find a mentor to teach me all the subtleties of being a good and well versed Dom.


K


(in reply to MidnightWriter)
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RE: Sub training - 2/25/2005 12:15:25 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
You can't get a straight answer because there is no one answer. The answer varies from person to person. I do understand your frustration. This is one of those concepts that bothers some people. It seems like there should be a constant. You may want to have a look at Training With Miss Abernathy: A Workbook for Erotic Slaves and Their Owners by Christina Abernathy. I'm currently reading it and it has some good ideas in it. Pretty much, it is all stuff I'm familiar with, but for someone who is asking your level of question, it will be perfect!

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to PlayfulRaquel)
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RE: Sub training - 2/25/2005 7:46:14 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		These threads might be helpful:

training

D/s training

techniques on training



_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to PlayfulRaquel)
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RE: Sub training - 2/25/2005 8:10:27 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		How do you train a dog?
How do you raise a child?
How do you give a piano lesson or teach someone to cook?

However you want to train a sub you just do what you have to do and find what works for you and with the sub you are with. Spanking is always good as well as positive reinforcment of "Good Boy".

Take your time and keep the belt well oiled.






Attachment (1)

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I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to PlayfulRaquel)
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RE: Sub training - 2/25/2005 8:45:09 PM   
Overlord218


Posts: 53
Joined: 1/26/2005
Status: offline 		How long is a piece of string? There are SO many variables here, it really is impossible to know where to even begin.

It depends on what you want of her.... What you think<<< she needs to be able to give you that, and oh a thousand other incidentals on the way.

Bottom line? Trust your instincts.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
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RE: Sub training - 2/27/2005 8:40:59 PM   
PlayfulRaquel


Posts: 16
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline 		Thank you so much for your posts. This really did help because atleast I now have some idea of what training involves.

(in reply to Overlord218)
Profile   Post #: 11
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