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long distance health issue with sub - 2/25/2005 2:34:43 PM

MistressMiss

Posts: 24
Joined: 2/24/2005
Status: offline

My husband an I have both taken on a sub, she is long distance and has health related issues that keeps her from flying here. She has a Dom that is not her Dom but her friend, that is telling her that he loves her and wants her for his. He knows about Us but still continues to confuse her with this whole mess. She is in bad medical condition and cannot speak but through emails at this time. I am not sure what to do about reinforcing the fact that We are here for her when she gets better and not to listen to Him. We are unable to go to her as she is out of the country, but he is is there with her, which confuses the situation. She sends emails with some words of encouragement, and finishes with Your and her name, but still speaks to me with confusion. She cannot handle alot of information at this point, and it is hard to Dom her when she is in an emotional state, and I do not think it is right with him knowing about Us that he is trying to Dom her in the emotional state she is in. Please help with information
Any suggestions?

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RE: long distance health issue with sub - 2/25/2005 8:38:44 PM

MsSilvie

Posts: 248
Joined: 2/4/2005
Status: offline

Long distance relationships are never easy. There has to be more dedication and trust on both sides than in a relationship where there is no physical distance.

You keep talking about "confusion" on the part of your submissive. Why is that? Subs aren't prone to being mislead and confused about things any more than the rest of us. If she is having divided loyalties, that's not confusion, that's divided loyalty.

If she is dealing with a lot of health related issues, I don't think I would try to dominate her at this time. I really would avoid trying to get her to "not listen" to her dom friend. By setting up the opposition, you are forcing her to pick sides. If she suggests she is getting bad advice from him, listen to what she says, offer your imput. Make it your goal to build a closer relationship with her. Don't make it your goal to build a confrontation with this other dominant.

(in reply to MistressMiss)

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RE: long distance health issue with sub - 2/26/2005 1:16:53 AM

MistressMiss

Posts: 24
Joined: 2/24/2005
Status: offline

I agree with that, and if that is one thing to do is to not alienate her by putting down her friend. Yes it is a hard thing, but I will just reinforce the fact that we are still here. Thank you for your input very helpful.

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RE: long distance health issue with sub - 2/26/2005 6:57:06 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

I am not surprised that he isn't willing to respect the long distance/ online relationship. A local Dominant is much better for a submissive than one who is in another country. Perhaps you should start thinking about what is best for this submissive and find one closer to home.
I also agree that if she is ill and fragile emotionally, you should not be attempting to manipulate or Dom/me her. If I were you, I'd turn this relationship into a friendship and quit stressing the poor girl out. While I know it is hard to let a cherished sub go, sometimes you give in to the inevitable. He is there. You are not. Most likely, he is going to win her in the end just because he can see her, talk to her, take her to dinner, bring her soup when she feels worst and touch her.

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Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
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