RE: slave vs. submissive

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: slave vs. submissive

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: slave vs. submissive

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: slave vs. submissive - 1/11/2007 12:14:01 PM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

For some odd reason I don't mind getting into the 'labels' argument, if I have something to say that is relevant.

Oftentimes I've said that the difference between a submissive and slave is 'surrender'. I really do believe this to be true. And, I feel that much of that determination comes from within rather than without. You really 'want' to be one thing or another, so you yourself makes that happen.

But I have an analogy that I like as well, if you haven't heard this before.

Submission is like being in a box. The sides of the box are the decisions you make that are part of the definitions of what bits of decisions or control you want to give up or not. You do want to have your clothes dictated. You don't want to have your finances controlled. Call them limits. Call them grey areas. Call them whatever.

But in doing so, in having these boundaries, many things will come up that will get you to expand the size of the box, or at least let you reexamine your own preset 'rules'. For instance, in the example above, you are instructed to obtain a certain item of clothing you do not currently have. Clothes is 'ok', but being instructed to pay for it (part of finances) is not. What to do?

It seems inevitable that 'the box' is going to be repeatedly examined, again and again. It is possible that this might become tiresome. It is also possible that all of this time worrying about 'the box' really means spending time concerning yourself with 'you' (i.e., your identity). More time on 'you', less time on serving the needs of another.

A slave, through hook, crook, or trust (or a combination of all), decides that 'the box' is unneccesary. If you don't have to worry about what is 'in bounds' or 'out of bounds' (because it's ALL 'in bounds) then you can cease focussing your concerns on yourself, and get about the business of serving. Which is what you really wanted to do in the first place.

This contention would follow, then, that the act of giving oneself as a slave is actually a 'freeing' act, rather than a 'confining' one.

Having said all of this, I do not find fault or wish to demean submissives. They can certainly live their life as they need. Maybe they cannot for a variety of reasons 'surrender'.

In either case, taking the selfless road is not necessarily an easy one, but should be respected and applauded.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to deeddlit)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: slave vs. submissive - 1/11/2007 1:11:52 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Alotta times slave and submissive is spelled differently...that is a biggie.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to mstrjx)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: slave vs. submissive - 1/11/2007 1:31:22 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkbigdaddy

There are three things a person can do for a Dom:
Service, Submit or be Owned.

Service: Participate in an action for the Dom.
Submit: Give up control.
Owned: Behave as you are property.

A submissive can serve or submit but this can be only a temporary thing. There is choice here.
My Jane Doe may submit in the bedroom or serve me or a friend - but she would never claim to be my property or be willing to be called my property. Moreover, she defines what she does. I once had a girl who ONLY gave bj's. Nothing else but that.

A slave is the Dom's property. She could be 24/7 or whenever the collar is on but if the switch is turn on, she is totally under my power and protection.
A slave can be told to do anything and is expected to do it -- limits or no limits. A kind Master wouldn't push a limit but at the same point a good slave usually will do it anyway. If you tell a slave to walk out in traffic, better have a butt like a bumper.
Without writing a book on the subject that is it in a nut shell.

Funny, as time passes in my relationship my Daddy often refers to me as his property. I am not collared... yet. I certainly refer to myself as a submissive and not a slave.

I also do what is told to me all the time, not some of the time. If he tells me to do something, I do it. I may have questions, but I do it, 100% of the time, no exceptions.

He has limits, I have limits... we have a pretty good synergy when it comes to our collective limits. We planned it that way

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to darkbigdaddy)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: slave vs. submissive - 1/11/2007 3:52:22 PM

katerzkat

Posts: 27
Joined: 1/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

as LA says every one has thier own definitions here is mine....

you know how you can be a "slave" to your cell phone? or a "slave" to CNN? You cant seemingly live with out it, it now runs your life? somewhere, some how a line gets crossed, and to be with out the thing or person you are a slave to, your life changes in value....and your value changes in life.

thats how i see the differnce in its most simple and broad terms.

wow. & i my initial reaction was to think, "well, i'm going to say 'submissive', because i can't quite handle 'slave'..." but, defined this way, 'slave' it really is for me...

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: slave vs. submissive - 1/12/2007 6:54:33 AM

Wolfspet

Posts: 143
Joined: 1/11/2004
Status: offline

Slaves are the ones who were to stupid to hide a spare key for the morning.

(in reply to katerzkat)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: slave vs. submissive - 1/12/2007 3:59:38 PM

MasterDaddyBredr

Posts: 2
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline

Yes and Yes.

In the relationship, I guess it can be whatever is arranged by the two (or more) in such a relationship.

However..with that said....

There is a basic difference in the 2.

A Submissive - is just that. A person who submits to the authority of another but retaining all personal an basic "rights" as any other human woudl retain. A sub would be able to say "no" to certain things or "not that way but this way."

A slave, on the other hand, is basically understood to to have no rights. Many say this is a Gorean ethic. Maybe it is. I see it as a slave has no rights or posessions of anykind. Her thoughts are to be as her/his Master's. Never seeking her/his own but seeking whatever pleases the Master. The slave is basically and unconditionally owned body, mind and soul. A true slave ( My opinion) would have it no other way.

Again, just My opinion based on experiences and readings...I could be wrong ( Thank You Dennis Miller).

(in reply to deeddlit)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: slave vs. submissive - 1/12/2007 7:00:03 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

Defined in each individual relationship. I retain the rights I as neither able nor willing to give over; specifically my assets and my family are mine to decide about. We're monogamous as we discussed early on because neither of us has the time to go looking, nor am I willing to introduce another to my family plus I couldn't handle it. My emotional triggers exist and I was as honest about them. His decision whether or not to accept me despite these pre-existing conditions. My decision to choose a man who could accept me as I am.

I don't normally go about refusing things for no reason. I do reserve the right to give him info he lacks when he's making a decision I can see will go south. He wants me to as making decisions in the dark isn't a good way to get a positive result.

I'm a sub because I'm a 50 plus Jew and to me a slave indicates someone in a concentration camp. For that same reason body modifications are a hard limit. My emotional needs and background here take precedence over someone else's definition. He doesn't really care what I call myself. We're very low protocol.

(in reply to MzMia)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: slave vs. submissive - 1/13/2007 9:16:34 AM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: deeddlit

Ok folks...what is the difference between a slave and a submissive?? Is this something that is defined for each individual relationship or is there a general definition?

curious

In addition and totally off subject...I am changing origianl signiture...was using MistressGaia and now using Ladydeeddlit...I feel Ladydeeddlit and for whatever reason MistressGaia never gave me that. Who the fuck knows and I largely don't care. :P

Ladydeeddlit

Slaves to Me have some sort of a stronger commitment.Whether its living in/collared(that they wear always).

Submissives dont ever live in with Me.they can be collared but its used only during sessions.

But thats just My take they are no set rules that I know of.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to deeddlit)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: slave vs. submissive - 1/13/2007 9:35:14 AM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

General Reply to Topic:

Theres isn't a difference to me. There are only different levels of potency (sp?) that people seem to enjoy. A "slave" is one who partners up with someone whose limits don't exceed her/his own. They arent giving any more than anyone else or committing anymore than anyone else; they are merely going towards that which they enjoy with someone who enjoys being their counterpart. A "submissive" can be defined the same way.

< Message edited by marieToo -- 1/13/2007 9:36:36 AM >

_____________________________

marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to MistressSassy66)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: slave vs. submissive - 1/13/2007 11:30:31 PM

Totalmaster4you

Posts: 1359
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

To quote peggyO........What about switches? {should I have capitalized that sS?} I'm so confused{should I have capitalized that c}LOL

(in reply to MzMia)

Profile

Post #: 30

RE: slave vs. submissive - 1/14/2007 12:32:13 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Nobody cares about switches, we're just confused players who don't really fit anywhere because they're just trying to be something they aren't.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Totalmaster4you)

Profile

Post #: 31

RE: slave vs. submissive - 1/15/2007 5:03:35 PM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

all a point of view i guess

(in reply to MzMia)

Profile

Post #: 32

RE: slave vs. submissive - 1/16/2007 12:26:09 PM

ShogunSensei

Posts: 38
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline

I have seen this one discussed many times over the years...often times quite heatedly. Depending on personal perspective of where one is at and how the "other" lives. *chuckles*

I have distilled it down for myself into very simple terms. Submissives submit. Slaves surrender.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Profile

Post #: 33

RE: slave vs. submissive - 1/16/2007 1:08:52 PM

LordVelvet

Posts: 311
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline

LA you make Me smile. Thank you.

(in reply to ShogunSensei)

Profile

Post #: 34