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ownedgirlie -> RE: Limits (1/11/2007 8:45:02 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub
quote:
ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
First, why are those "obvious limits?"
Second, how do you differentiate "extreme" no limits? Aren't a lack of limits simply a lack of limits? That question does not make sense to me.
I gave my limits up to my Master. He may have limits, and he rules me in the confines of his limits. But I did not match mine to his...I simply gave mine to him.
OG, i hope it is all right, but i would really like to ask you about the portion of your response that i have highlighted. my question is was this something that was done over time, or at a specific time, either at the start of the relationship or further into the relationship. Also would like to know if you would like to tell me, how much, if any fear or fearful thinking was involved in giving them up. Sorry i realize that both are very personal questions and i won't be offended in the least if you do not wish to answer either. Thank you in advance.
heartfelt
No worries as to the question.
I was full of limits in my mind when I met him. He would ask me things like, "What is the most extreme thing you can think of me doing to you?" Some of my responses back then seem really mild to me now. But he would listen and we would talk about it, and he would slowly work on expanding my mind so that those things no longer scared me. He would have me think and write about each thing, and do visualization work until the "unknown" about such a situation no longer seemed so foreign...and then he would DO it. I knew from the outset I could not tell him No to anything. And I agreed to that. I trusted that he would not have me do anything he had not properly prepared me to do. Yet I also knew he could do whatever he wanted at any time. We talked about that a lot, too - that it was his right to do such n such (whatever it was), but that doesn't mean he WILL do it. I had to trust that A) He would not do it if I couldn't handle it; or B) That I would manage to give him what he wanted if he DID decide to do it.
Because of such communication, fears were alleviated. I was afraid every time I grew deeper in my submission. There were often emotional episodes that I had to work through before delving deeper. It has been scary and wonderful and amazing. It took a delicate finesse to manage me just right - to push at exactly the right level, and to hold back just short of sending me over an emotional edge. Hell yes it was scary! But I trusted, and he led me to where I am now. He was able to do so by always knowing my thoughts and feelings about everything. I must have written thousands of pages to him by now, of everything that goes through my heart and mind. He knows me so intimately, he can predict how I will respond to whatever he says, does, instructs, etc. He counts on these predictive measures to run me, and to know when to push and when to hold back.
I think I'm taking the scenic route to get to the answer to your question. In short, yes, this was done over time, beginning when he first began to dominate me...and it continues to this day. There was lots of fear in slowly giving them up, and at the same time, he helped remove the fear.
Thank you for asking such an interesting question. Usually threads like this are used by opposers to talk about how much they think they know people like me [;)]
Edited to add - this does not mean some things I am sometimes required to do or endure are not extremely difficult. I did not intend to put out there that Oh sure, he prepares me and then it's a piece of cake. Some things have required a lot of "work" to be done afterwards, sometimes for days...week...months. But the idea, in my situation, is to have an open mind, and to know that humans are capable of amazing feats, and are quite resilient, too. There is also an important factor to consider, which is I did not give myself to someone with a jackhammer fetish or the like. He made it clear from the start that he likes his slaves WITH their body parts. One would do well to choose wisely.
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