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MistressYlwa -> BDSM Community (1/10/2007 9:00:22 AM)
While reading another post, was puzzled at some the the responses. One in particular hit home for me and felt it was something I wished to address. In searching for previous posts, found this particular topic had not been brought out before. So here are my two cents. This statement is the statement I took issue with: quote: The idea of lumping us all together based on this one trait is kind of "creepy." There is no doubt in my mind that if you could look through this screen and stare into the eyes and minds of all the people reading these posts...You might not want sign those citizenship papers so quickly.... First a definition of community: 1 : a unified body of individuals: as a : STATE, COMMONWEALTH b : the people with common interests living in a particular area; broadly : the area itself <the problems of a large community> c : an interacting population of various kinds of individuals (as species) in a common location d : a group of people with a common characteristic or interest living together within a larger society <a community of retired persons> e : a group linked by a common policy f : a body of persons or nations having a common history or common social, economic, and political interests <the international community> g : a body of persons of common and especially professional interests scattered through a larger society <the academic community> Merriam-Webster Dictionary Personally, I see myself as part of several communities. The one I live in, the people I chose to associate with, my family, etc. So to say that community is not an appropriate term for those involved in BDSM is infelicitous. While I am a part of the community of white femaies, I do not consider all white females to be the same. From Elene Warnous to Barbara Bush, I am a part of that community. Yet have no desire to kill men or be a Republican. Those are different communities. I am a domme, who practices aspects of BDSM. This makes me a member of the BDSM community. I do not participate in all activities of the community. But this does not make me less of a member. I have chosen to place a profile on CollarMe and participate in the message boards. By my choice, I have made myself a member of the CollarMe community. Personally, I am very happy to be a member of a number of communities. For they are communities. These, of course, are my own opinions and beliefs. I would be interested in hearing the opinion of others. Mistress Ylwa

MsOpal -> RE: BDSM Community (1/10/2007 9:35:37 AM)
Good Morning, I think you stated it pretty well. I am part of the greater community of people who enjoy the practice of bdsm and of those who identify as part of a D/s couple or family. Those are sort of large catchall community names. Then there are the subset communities under that bigger one. I am sub to my husband. We have a Daddy-babygirl relationship. I love pain. I love to be of service. I love 'edgeplay' and subset to that i particularly love knives, fire, electricity, and singletial whips. Then there is the other side of me who is "D" to everyone else. Subset to that D is sensual play and edge play and service. I think of it like a big "tree chart or flow chart" with my lines going all sorts of directions. Then we add the poly part and the lines can become quite woven around! I do not have to identify exactly with everyone in a community to be a part of it, just as you described. Some of my neighbors cut down all their trees and we leave as many of ours as we can, some let their dogs run loose to crap in my yard and I have no dogs. I disapprove of denuding the earth of trees and of letting pets run amok, but I am still part of this small community. Even though I disapprove of some of my neighbors practices, I would help them if there was a disaster of some sort or even if they just needed some help. In the same way the larger bdsm community we are a part of often comes to the aid of others in our community in a time of need. MsOpal

domiguy -> RE: BDSM Community (1/10/2007 9:47:54 AM)
Since you are quoting me let me be the first to clarify my statement...When I look at the definition of the word "community" I still don't see myself represented very well within that meaning in pertaining to BDSM. 1) I am not part of a unified body of individuals nor in this case would I want to be. 2) Yes I have interests(I suppose this would be considered a "common interests I share with some others) in BDSM if this makes me a part of your community than I'm in...so what? 3) I will probably never see any of you at a common place...No munches, no clubs, no scenes. 4) We don't live together...don't pack your bags and head to Chicago looking for refuge...You probably won't make the cut. 5) We have no common policy. Our interests are vast and diverse...politics,religion, economically or socially there is no common thread that ties us together. 6) Common and especially professional interests....common interests...Knife play, beastiality,scat,fire,prostitution,objectification,oxygen deprivation,scarring,puppy and pony play,fisting,fart domination.latex. And don't get me started on the Gorean stuff. Where are my interests where are yours? maybe they are there maybe they are not...Like I said this is paramount to me of joining the "community" of guys who dicks hang to the left...beyond this "small" aspect of our design we have very little in common. I consider this no different...it's fun to come out and read posts and participate but beyond that here is not a whole lot of connection (Speaking for myself only). This is just one aspect of who I am...I cannot afford to give it more time because it is just a small part of my being...it does not define me as a man. I too belong to to other communities...which I have sought out...we share a common belief, practice, policies on how other's are to be treated,ethics,knowledge that is gleaned is passed down and there are rules that are strictly followed...All of which seem to be missing here. My beliefs are not everyone's (thank god) some people are going to view this as an important aspect of their lives personally and socially...for me it is private...not something for a "community" but a chosen few. out. D.G. p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers.

SATANMAN -> RE: BDSM Community (2/15/2007 8:25:15 PM)
to each his own, free speech and all that but lumping people together isnt right

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: BDSM Community (2/15/2007 8:49:32 PM)
Some people hate "lifestyle" some people hate "wiitwd" some people hate "scene" and some people hate "sub culture" There's always going to be some people who really don't like a label. Use what works best for you.

OedipusRexIt -> RE: BDSM Community (2/15/2007 10:36:59 PM)
....so, is this merely your homage to being part of a community? If so, good for you, I suppose. If community is what you seek, then it looks like you found it. I'm one of those people who find the whole bdsm "community" concept a bit overworked, and a strained use of the term. Still, enjoy whatever works for you. Myself, I'm good with being a community of one.

azzmaster -> RE: BDSM Community (2/16/2007 5:42:15 AM)
ONLY INSECURE PEEPS IS THREATENED BY WHATCHA CALLS SUMPIN. HOWEVER I MEET SLAVES IS GOOD. YOU CAN CALL IT A SUNDAY SKOOL PIKNIK FOR ALL I CARE

Celeste43 -> RE: BDSM Community (2/16/2007 5:58:35 AM)
Assuming that because we all enjoy one or more of the various items covered by BDSM means we will all be fast friends is ingenuous at the best. I went to the grocery store Tuesday morning before the storm. Just because almost all of us were buying bread and milk doesn't mean we have anything else in common. Coincidence is not community.

SirDominic -> RE: BDSM Community (2/16/2007 6:21:29 AM)
Interesting that the majority of responses so far are from people who have an issue with BDSM being a community. Not quite sure what to make of that, except as LA said, some people get really hung up on particular words. And I have never been involved with a community like BDSM that has such a large percentage of people who are REALLY hung up about labels. Considering we are already a counter-culture, this strikes me as particularly odd..... Namaste, Sir Dominic

beltainefaerie -> RE: BDSM Community (2/16/2007 7:37:02 AM)
Midori had an interesting point when I listened to her some time last year. She said basically that there is not "community" until you make it one. Yes we may like the same things, or different things in the world of kink, but merely being kinky does not link us together. Going out, participating in your local groups, munches, play spaces and interacting with others does make a commnity. If you just vaguely know some people that are into kink, and you don't actually build relationships with them, then you aren't really a community. And so, I would consider these message boards the same way. if you actively seek friendship and kinship, participate in forums and emails and whatnot, you can build relationships and thereby create a community. There are many people creating a community here and others that aren't. I personally like the idea of a community, but I get that it doesn't inherently exist. We need to build it if we want it.

SimplyMichael -> RE: BDSM Community (2/16/2007 8:18:47 AM)
In general, those whom most desire BDSM to be a community are those I least desire to be in communion with.

OedipusRexIt -> RE: BDSM Community (2/16/2007 8:46:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Celeste43 Assuming that because we all enjoy one or more of the various items covered by BDSM means we will all be fast friends is ingenuous at the best. I went to the grocery store Tuesday morning before the storm. Just because almost all of us were buying bread and milk doesn't mean we have anything else in common. Coincidence is not community. This was concise, and well-put. It expresses the "community" myth better than I could have. Well said.

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