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*Please* Need Fast Advice on Daddy/Lil' Girl(ism) - 1/10/2007 1:30:56 PM   
MissMeggie


Posts: 1
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		Hello Everyone~

Let me start by thanking you in advance for your time and consideration on this matter.

Those of you with Daddy/Little Girl (ism) experience and/or knowledge... "please help." 

I am having a serious crisis that I cannot even imagine calling a therapist or anyone else for. I have seen some past threads on this subject and I am hoping for some of those same members and/or others to offer their counsel to me now.

About 5 months ago during a sexual encounter with my lover of 4 years I had, what has now become, a life changing incident.  During a moment of intense connection he asked me, “Are you my little girl? Am I your Daddy?”  Even now, I can still feel the ‘shift’ that changed my carefully guarded and managed inner world when I responded, “yes, Daddy.”   

Even looking back now, I have no language that could truly describe what that brief exchange meant to me.  Relief, Release…the beginning of meaningful Trust.  And even though I didn’t see it coming - it brought about complete shift in my carefully constructed emotional paradigm that was my safety net. I did not know that this little ‘acknowledgment’ would end up being my undoing, my Achilles heel!

We have had a rocky relationship off and on mostly because of trust and anger issues on my part, and detachment and selfishness on his part.  Both of us know, can admit, and agree upon these points now.  Even as of last night we talked for almost four hours and we both know and can tell each other that we love each other immensely.  He says he knows that I need someone to take care of me.  I have acknowledged him in my heart and verbally as my Master, my soul-mate and now even as my Daddy.

I have been a successful and well-respected sales professional.  However, I now feel as if I am losing myself – my very identity as my interest wanes for my ‘adult world.’  I am finding that I no longer possess the skills to put my defenses back on.  I feel like a little girl and in feeling that way I am almost overwhelmed by some unknowable, unthinkable, debilitating fear.  My monsters are crawling out from under the bed and I stand defenseless against them.

I want his help.  I need his help.  Now I feel that for whatever reason, this part of me, the little girl has surfaced and she is somehow melding my consciousness.  While there are sweet, timid and innocent parts to her that he finds very appealing – there is also this obstinate, scared, bratty part of her that is angry and defensive.  He likes the sweet, but has no clue how to deal with the angry and defensive.   

Does any of this make sense to anyone out there?  It feels strange to post something so personal in a public forum.  However, keeping all of this a secret inside myself while others around me have no clue what is going on has made me a prisoner in my own head.  It’s not a pretty prison right now.

I cannot sleep, focus well or function normally - this is really taking an unexpected toll on me.  Can anyone offer advice that will either
a.) help Him to really understand my needs and what I am asking from him or
b.) advise me if there is perhaps some sort of trick to getting this under control on my own or
c.) ??? insert your own here.

Oh, one other thing that is important.  I really don’t think he understands how debilitating this has become for me.  I have been the primary ‘teacher’ in our business/professional life as I brought him into my established business.  How can I explain to him that I simply have ‘no will’ or even confidence to get back out there and close the sales when I feel so damned uncertain about everything?

MissMeggie
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: *Please* Need Fast Advice on Daddy/Lil' Girl(ism) - 1/10/2007 1:47:18 PM   
shadevarr


Posts: 360
Joined: 7/2/2006
Status: offline 		Well, daddy should be very firm with his girl and show that he loves her at the same time. Example, girl is to be in bed at a certain time. Brattiness might kick in and say " I don't wanna" or rational mind goes "I am an adult, I can go to bed when I want to". Myself, I just have to state that I want to snuggle with my girl and she might pout and mope for a few minutes but comes to bed.  Daddy/girl relationships, at least to me, seem to be really intimate with a lot of physical closeness and silliness. When you release that little girl, it most very comforting and the feeling of safety around daddy is really high but it almost crashes when he is away or busy. Little girls are quite high maintenence and Daddy needs to make sure they get enough together time. My preferred way to spend time is to watch a movie, snuggled on the couch sharing a blanket and a bowl of pop-corn. As far as overcoming your work related issues, he has to tell you that you are not only allowed to be assertive at work but that it makes him happy when you close a sale. There really isn't any trick to get it under control but it will stabilize itself with daddy's help.

(in reply to MissMeggie)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: *Please* Need Fast Advice on Daddy/Lil' Girl(ism) - 1/10/2007 1:52:36 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		In real life, I have a daughter who is 10 and is going to be a black belt shortly, other than that she is artsy fartsy but poppie requires that she be very adult and introspective and proud and proficient when she goes to the Dojo, that is a time for work, (and for play) but the result is of consequence.

Even little girls cannot hide behind the couch, or do the pretty thing all day long day after day.

Into every life a little rain must fall.   Doesn't have to be a downpour, or a Tsunami coming at you.

Think about that.

Ron 
 

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to MissMeggie)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: *Please* Need Fast Advice on Daddy/Lil' Girl(ism) - 1/10/2007 1:54:31 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Well for quick and dirty advice, I'd suggest that you create rituals which bring you into and take you out of your little girl headspace to bring you to the level you need to be to function at any particular time.

While it might be very difficult, when you're not in little girl headspace, you need to use that time to communicate what IS going on in little girl headspace. 

If he wants, there are plenty of ways you can maintain your little girlness at work- take lunch in a backpack and lunchbox, wear little girl panties, have a stuffed animal in your desk, etc. 

The key here is balance and security.  If you are both open and let time and closeness work for you, I think you'll be fine.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MissMeggie)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: *Please* Need Fast Advice on Daddy/Lil' Girl(ism) - 1/10/2007 2:01:37 PM   
Stunning


Posts: 76
Joined: 7/16/2004
Status: offline 		You should relax and know that he is there for you. If you trust him he will guide you. Consider your work to be chores. If you tell him that he needs to regulate your chores, I'll be he will. Segment your work into parts. There is what you need to learn; your schoolwork. There is what you need to accomplish; your chores. There is a report card on all this; your paycheck. If you know that you have to make your Daddy proud, I'll bet you will. Just know that you are doing it for your Daddy.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: *Please* Need Fast Advice on Daddy/Lil' Girl(ism) - 1/10/2007 2:10:15 PM   
DominicsJoy


Posts: 53
Joined: 8/28/2004
Status: offline 		Don't know how much this will help, but it is from experience. Master and I use hypnosis in play and life. (Helps with migraines and relaxation, etc.) In hypnosis he has created alternate girls to play with, no reason for a man to cheat if he can make a whole new girlfriend, eh? One of these is a youngster, age approx. 15-17 yrs who calls him "Daddy". She is taught and disciplined by him and him alone. Her existance is totally dependant upon pleasing him when together.

I know that this may raise eyebrows, but the arrangement has been fine with us both. He is extremely happy, because he can have as many girls as he wants with no health or financial issues. I am content because I have time with him, and when allowed memory of the event (which is most of the time) I know that we both get a lot of satisfaction from the experience. I am never forced into the situation, but instead I find it very desirable. I love the time with Daddy as his little girl. He is able to learn more about me from an earlier and less guarded time in my life, and I have also learned a lot about myself. I would not suggest it for everyone though. This does drain you emotionally at times, and the emotions it can raise are sometimes hard to turn off. If you truly want this, be honest and forthright with your feelings and struggles, and make sure where you stand with him. If he does not want to accept the extra burden of a child, even part time, then you need to search your soul and make a decision. If he does support this, both of you need to sit down and discuss schedules and some ground rules. Once you know your direction, and have made your decision, sleep should come. Right now you are just worried and your mind is overtaxed by it.

Good luck to you both. Let me know if I can help.

Master's girl- joy

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: *Please* Need Fast Advice on Daddy/Lil' Girl(ism) - 1/10/2007 2:16:14 PM   
Fitznicely


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		It sounds to me as if what you're losing is the facade you've been using to protect yourself from the big bad world, in favour of the vulnerable, protected, loved, REAL you that came out that night five months ago.

Your fears are understandable and surmountable. Embrace them and recognise them for what they are - a natural reaction to your mental and emotional barriers coming down.

Trust your Daddy, share everything with him and keep letting Him know what you need.

This change is good. Love it.


_____________________________

I tell you this: No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn
Proud Owner of Darkmoonkat. Such a good girl!

(in reply to shadevarr)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: *Please* Need Fast Advice on Daddy/Lil' Girl(ism) - 1/10/2007 2:57:11 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		i come from a healing back round, and in my world i would see your experience as totally normal. There is a philosophy that your brain only gives you what it knows you can handle.
 
i think you are safe for the first time in a really long time, and you spent so long being defensive and self protected that you did not realize that you felt unsafe at all, because your walls gave you a false feeling of feeling safe...
 
but who feels a feeling of safety more: the guy who sleeps behind giant walls and a gun under his pillow, or the guy that leaves his doors unlocked?
 
feeling safe is a new feeling for you a little uncomfortable yet it is so darn yummy too...and you crave it and have craved it for a long time.
 
but Ron makes a good point, you can be a very capable lil girl, in fact often times the draw to being a little girl is to "go back" and do things differently, ie: better....you have a rare opportunity to raise yourself again....what might be helpful is to make a list of quality's of the woman you want to become....and milestones and crossroads of your youth you want a "do over" on.
 
invite your daddy in on the process, have him be a part of raising you, this time it does not need to take 18 years...you can give it a time frame say 3 months....and then when you are the woman you want to be...you can always go back to playing any age you enjoyed playing along the way.
 
be careful not to regress too much with out a plan though....you need some sort of map, because with out it you and your daddy can get very lost.
 

 

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to Fitznicely)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: *Please* Need Fast Advice on Daddy/Lil' Girl(ism) - 1/10/2007 3:15:20 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		oops i forgot to address
quote:

there is also this obstinate, scared, bratty part of her that is angry and defensive.  He likes the sweet, but has no clue how to deal with the angry and defensive

 
when a real little girl acts out this way what do you think is the right approach to shifting her behavior? when you were a little girl how did you want to be "handled" ?

he may have no clue, but you do, so sit down and talk to him and let him know what you need....
 
and one last thing bratty behavior is not very pleasant to be around, so remember the experience should be rewarding for both people....or it becomes dysfunctional.

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: *Please* Need Fast Advice on Daddy/Lil' Girl(ism) - 1/10/2007 3:44:39 PM   
BDSM05478


Posts: 417
Joined: 10/27/2006
Status: offline 		some really great advice by everyone so far I just want to stress something. Now is the time for communication, if both sides want to deepen this remember it involves ALOT of vulnerability. Open your minds and hearts and talk about everything, somethings might feel taboo because of our conditioning by society that doesn't condone alot of our thoughts, dreams and fantasies. Share, laugh, cry and maybe even rebuild...... It's like mental and emotional legos when we truly let someone in and you can either build something great or you can end up with alot of little pieces scattered on the floor.

_____________________________

"It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart" U.E. McGill

"Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." - Marcus Aurelius

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: *Please* Need Fast Advice on Daddy/Lil' Girl(ism) - 1/10/2007 4:08:14 PM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		I am impressed with the great advice I see being offered in these forums. I have no experience with this topic, but have enjoyed reading the wonderful advice given by everyone.

_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to BDSM05478)
Profile   Post #: 11
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