A question to stir things up

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SpinnerofTales -> A question to stir things up (1/10/2007 8:12:11 PM)
Here's a question just to spark discussion...aimed at all female slaves and subs: Which would you find more damaging to your relationhip with a Dom...to come home and find him having sex with a submissive man or a dominant woman? (The reason I don't ask men is that we ALL want to see two women making it so it would be a whole different set of responses)

crouchingtigress -> RE: A question to stir things up (1/10/2007 8:14:12 PM)
it would be the exact same for me, i would feel betrayed no matter what.

subsnow -> RE: A question to stir things up (1/10/2007 8:17:52 PM)
i had to sit and think about this for a minute. It didn't take me long to decide that i would be more hurt to find Him having sex with a Dominant female. That would mean to me that everything about Him was a lie unless He had already told me that He was a switch.

Zsuzsanna -> RE: A question to stir things up (1/10/2007 8:18:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SpinnerofTales Here's a question just to spark discussion...aimed at all female slaves and subs: Which would you find more damaging to your relationhip with a Dom...to come home and find him having sex with a submissive man or a dominant woman? (The reason I don't ask men is that we ALL want to see two women making it so it would be a whole different set of responses) Both would suck, but if I HAD to choose, I think I would be less upset if he was getting it on with a Domme. Then at least They could both play with me. :)

subsnow -> RE: A question to stir things up (1/10/2007 8:19:59 PM)
In RL it wouldn't matter to me either because i wouldn't be able to get past the fact that He was sleeping with another woman. Maybe as a Dom He has that right. i don't know. Even so, i would expect Him to tell me since communication is so important. Anything kept secret implies something is wrong about it. Since it isn't RL i am able to step back and make a decision about it though.

ardelle -> RE: A question to stir things up (1/10/2007 8:20:28 PM)
greetings neither. If that is what he wishes to do; it is not my place to tell him he can not

losttreasure -> RE: A question to stir things up (1/10/2007 8:21:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress it would be the exact same for me, i would feel betrayed no matter what. My response as well.

maybemaybenot -> RE: A question to stir things up (1/10/2007 8:22:32 PM)
Since monogamy would be the foundation of my relationship both scenarios would cause me to walk, so it's a U-Pic-Em, for me. mbmbn

Quivver -> RE: A question to stir things up (1/10/2007 8:22:42 PM)
No question about it. The Domme Female wouldnt be an issue, a male sub would leave my jaw on the ground.

kittensmailbox -> RE: A question to stir things up (1/10/2007 8:24:09 PM)
as long as he was honest about it, it his choice, not mine... After all, he is the Master.... right?

najiyyah -> RE: A question to stir things up (1/10/2007 8:30:32 PM)
i would have to beg to be allowed to join ~smiles~

hisannabelle -> RE: A question to stir things up (1/10/2007 8:32:02 PM)
as long as he was honest about it and had discussed it with me beforehand or immediately afterward (with the knowledge that i would be disappointed if we had not discussed it before as he's always maintained that he wants me to be with other people sexually and emotionally but only wants to be with me, except in the context of a threesome/triad), then i would be fine with it. if i found out he had been dishonest, then i would be extremely upset either way - i don't think the sex or dominant/submissive orientation of the other person would really make a difference.

losttreasure -> RE: A question to stir things up (1/10/2007 8:34:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ardelle greetings neither. If that is what he wishes to do; it is not my place to tell him he can not I understand the position you take in this, but for me, it would unravel the very fabric of our relationship... First, because our relationship is monogamous; if he wishes to change that arrangement, I would expect the opportunity to accept that choice before the fact. More importantly, our relationship is based on truthful knowledge of each other. As he has shown himself to be a heterosexual dominant to me, to find him with either of those choices would indicate a deception.

ardelle -> RE: A question to stir things up (1/10/2007 8:37:23 PM)
greetings losttreasure i meant no disrespect by my answer and apologize if it came across in that way. i understand fully that everyone has their own basis for relationships and that works for me, does not work for others.

losttreasure -> RE: A question to stir things up (1/10/2007 8:47:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ardelle greetings losttreasure i meant no disrespect by my answer and apologize if it came across in that way. i understand fully that everyone has their own basis for relationships and that works for me, does not work for others. No disrespect perceived at all, ardelle. And I didn't intend for it to appear as if your values were invalid, either. I fully respect that your relationship works the way it does. [:D]

innatedesire -> RE: A question to stir things up (1/10/2007 9:05:51 PM)
good question.........i would feel devastated , it would totally shatter the foundation in which our dynamic was built upon trust. it would not be the act itself, it would not be the gender, its not Dom/sub.........i can not serve someone i do not trust..............if that is what he wanted to do just let me know, i may not like it and i would have to work through it, but tell me!! Don't turn my world upside down, rip my heart out and stomp on it, that is a hard limit for me..............

xkittenishx -> RE: A question to stir things up (1/10/2007 9:13:12 PM)
Putting aside the feelings of betrayal at having come home to find her Dominant in bed with another person, this girl would find it more damaging by far if it was a Dominant female instead of a submissive male. At least if it were a male she could rationalize the Dominant wanting to have fun with bits that she doesn't possess - if it were a Dominant female, this girl would have the issue of it being another woman and a Dominant on top of that and that would add much more to the sting of things.

Elegant -> RE: A question to stir things up (1/10/2007 9:14:51 PM)
As long as he is having protected sex that there is no damage at all.

desertdancer -> RE: A question to stir things up (1/10/2007 9:16:01 PM)
As we're a married couple I would have to say both would destroy me. i'd be broken if it were a male or female, Dom or sub, it wouldn't matter, both would be equally heart breaking. I do realize that many married couples allow for extra umm playmates, ours does not. So yeah, it would be bad Bad BAD either way ~dancer

juliaoceania -> RE: A question to stir things up (1/10/2007 9:43:17 PM)
Both would be deal breakers for me..... But the submissive man would squick me more than a dominant woman.

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