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ORIGINAL: Fawne

hi whisperedsighs

You now have many excellent answers.

Now you need to find out your own answer. Weird, obtuse statement?

Nope. You do know the answer. It is "I don't know".

Please choose someone who can respect that you are not looking to find out allinonenight, because you need to be able to trust, be and feel safe and have time to process all of your feelings.    There is nothing wrong with not knowing all the answers and inner riddles inside you. That's why they say "it is a journey".

Good luck and have fun!

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ORIGINAL: whisperedsighs

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ORIGINAL: Amaros

Pain triggers endomorphins, which are also released during sexual activity - not hard to see how pain can become addictive, and/or associated with sex - endomorphin receptors are the same receptors that are keyed by heroin, and the reason heroin is so addictive. It's conjectured that a lot of athletes are endomorphin junkies, weightlifters, long distance runners, etc.

In any case, the distinction between endomorphin release through extreme stimulus or everstimulus, and crossing the line into trauma needs to be understood by the dominant party.

I believe there is a psychological aspect to the administration of pain, that may be related, or may be an entirely seperate thing: something similar to Stockholm syndrome for instance may well be at work on some level in the power exchange relationship, bondage, etc., and that may involve seretonin levels and operate on another level entirely.

One or both of these reactions may also be at work in objectification/humiliation play, or even another process entirely, but what does seem clear is that there is some psycho/physiological "reward" involved for the bottom, and it's not necesarily indicative of "low self esteem" or some other psychological issue.

In any case, it might be easy to mistake these hormonal responses for a purely psychological "need" for abuse in a less discerning individual, and thus a diminished ability to "read" the responses of the bottom and go too far, i.e., overindulging sadistic compulsions over the line and into abuse - it certainly happens pretty frequently in Vanilla power exchange relationships that cross into dysfuntion, although I think it probobly something more experienced doms develop a more finely tuned "feel" for.

I hope this helps you guide your inquiries more effectively.

You mean endorphins don't you?

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i've always considered pain sluts to be the ones who need to have nails hammered through their breasts, and other such  extreme measures in order for them to feel release or content...