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RE: Extreme punishment? - 2/27/2005 1:08:00 PM

willing2serve

Posts: 385
Joined: 4/6/2004
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quote:

perverseangelic

Four days without an orgasm...well...it isn't that many. You may be asked to do a lot more. I know that I went, at one point, two months without an orgasm. It sucks, but if you're told to do it, you do it.

quote:

EmeraldSlave2
I'm very sexual too, I tend to orgasm at least once a day and many other sexual things. I have found that I become distracted at work, unable to focus and very moody if I don't orgasm for a few days. But, it's hardly the worst thing in the world and can be an effective method of behavior modification.

I don’t want to hijack this thread but I really wish you two would discuss orgasm control and denial from a submissive perspective. Perhaps start another thread “under ask a submissive”

With perverse going two months without orgasm, what effects did you feel from it? What did you learn?

With Emerald, I am curious for myself am very sexual and tend to de-stress on orgasms. Would love for you to explain more from the perspective of it being an effective method of behavior modification.

I went through a brief orgasm denial for about 2 weeks, I turned into the submissive bitch (NOT my normal demeanor at all...but just as the denial was breaking, I could start to feel a more thankfulness for the privilege of orgasm and knowing who controlled them...so ever since then I have been curious about being in the state of being uncomfortable and adapting to it until it becomes to your benefit..... Would truly love your thoughts and others on this......

Respectfully,
Willing2serve1

< Message edited by willing2serve -- 2/27/2005 1:11:27 PM >

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Post #: 21

RE: Extreme punishment? - 2/27/2005 2:07:32 PM

velvetvixen

Posts: 378
Joined: 1/19/2004
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Four days without orgasm is hardly "extreme". If you are collared, or "within a week" of being collared and you can't keep your hands to yourself or in this case from yourself, I would ask if you have really thought this through.

You gave up your freedom to masturbate and subsequently orgasm at your will when you accepted the rule.

You knowingly, willingly masturbated against your Dominant's wishes. Blatant in your face breaking of the rules like that deserves a memorable punishment. Take your smacks, stop playing with yourself, get yourself under control and learn something from this.

(in reply to BBWinOhio)

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Post #: 22

RE: Extreme punishment? - 2/28/2005 11:32:29 AM

ruffnecksbabygir

Posts: 412
Joined: 1/4/2005
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here's my take on this, if you trust this man enough to give him your submission then trust that he knows what he is doing.... having said that, i'd think that the consistency factor could be a problem, i mean how does one go from 10 to 100? as a Master he should always follow through with what he has said, and if he said it was 10 it should be 10....on the other hand i definately do not think spankings and orgasm denial are "extreme punishments" i get a lot worse than that!! and i got pics to prove it! *grins* let's just say if you think a spanking is bad, have you ever experienced the steel cane? you'd be begging for the spankings instead! lol /color]

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:Disclaimer: The above is only this slave's opinion:

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Post #: 23

RE: Extreme punishment? - 2/28/2005 11:59:48 AM

BBWinOhio

Posts: 7
Joined: 2/26/2005
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After thinking of this the entire weekend, I have decided that I am not really a submissive person. Although I'm sure I'd like to play submissive for a weekend or so, I don't believe I could tolerate more than a couple days of it. Doing the research, I understood everything intellectually, but I'm not quite sure I understood the practicalities.

Thank you all for your replies. It was your replies that led me to giving the whole situation more thought. I appreciate your taking the time to respond.

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Post #: 24

RE: Extreme punishment? - 2/28/2005 12:09:13 PM

MidnightWriter

Posts: 131
Joined: 2/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BBWinOhio

I an new to the submissive lifestyle, with no real experience. I've met a man and although I have not yet formally been collared, we had planned to do so in the coming week.

I masturbated and had an orgasm without his permission.

That would be real experience in disobedience. While planning a formal collaring, this would be Not Good.

quote:

For that, he has ordered four days without an orgasm and 100 spanks, even though he had told me that 10 spanks would be given for a first offense. He has said that he will spank me until I cry.

Am I wrong to think that this is insane? Extreme? One hundred spanks is bad enough, but four days without an orgasm? I'm being set up to fail.

You are not "wrong" - you are inexperienced. This "punishment" is much less than I'd be handing out. (OTOH, most subs I have known well enough to punish would consider 100 spanks a treat, a reward - I tend toward painsluts.)

If your level of self-discipline is such that 4 days without orgasm seems impossible, perhaps you do need to rethink your role here. Many people do scene-based BDSM - for this hour/evening, they're doing d/s, but tomorrow, it's back to 'nilla until they feel like another shot of d/s. This is entirely appropriate, and suited to lots of folks - not everybody wants 24/7, and even those who do want 24/7 tend to build up to it slowly, rather than leaping into the deep end right away - especially if it's their first time at the pool.

I strongly suggest that you discuss this option with the man you've met, and renegotiate to something that you can both be happy with. Better to adjust before you've committed than to endanger his trust and your self-image by committing to something you don't really want.

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Post #: 25

RE: Extreme punishment? - 2/28/2005 2:59:19 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BBWinOhio

After thinking of this the entire weekend, I have decided that I am not really a submissive person. Although I'm sure I'd like to play submissive for a weekend or so, I don't believe I could tolerate more than a couple days of it. Doing the research, I understood everything intellectually, but I'm not quite sure I understood the practicalities.

Thank you all for your replies. It was your replies that led me to giving the whole situation more thought. I appreciate your taking the time to respond.

Let me be the first to say GO YOU!

It takes a lot of guts to say "this is what I am not." Especially publically on a board that's been politely slamming you for not being submissive to your partner.

It is FUN to be submissive to your partner for short periods of time. It's fun to just play at all this. Sometimes in taking everything so seriously, we forget that the -play- is fun too.

So. Enjoy this part of yourself and indulge it.

Go you.

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Post #: 26

RE: Extreme punishment? - 2/28/2005 7:58:10 PM

Tangwystal

Posts: 121
Joined: 8/18/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BBWinOhio

After thinking of this the entire weekend, I have decided that I am not really a submissive person. Although I'm sure I'd like to play submissive for a weekend or so, I don't believe I could tolerate more than a couple days of it. Doing the research, I understood everything intellectually, but I'm not quite sure I understood the practicalities.

Thank you all for your replies. It was your replies that led me to giving the whole situation more thought. I appreciate your taking the time to respond.

Bravo! and don't let anyone tell you that what you want is wrong. Have fun with what you want to do. There is something out there for all of us.

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Tangwystal

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Post #: 27

RE: Extreme punishment? - 2/28/2005 8:46:20 PM

onceburned

Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BBWinOhio
After thinking of this the entire weekend, I have decided that I am not really a submissive person. Although I'm sure I'd like to play submissive for a weekend or so, I don't believe I could tolerate more than a couple days of it.

Then you have made some self-discoveries - this is always a good thing. You know you enjoy submissive play but not a submissive lifestyle. Wonderful!