afeathr
Posts: 248
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Southern California
Status: offline
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Well over a year ago, I met a man of whom I was completely smitten. We had a strange relationship from the beginning because not long after we met (literally 2 or 3 days after), he was diagnosed with a severe brain aneurysm and was told he might not survive the required surgery. In his attempts to protect me, he forbade me to visit (he lived in Chicago) and would not give me any contact information to reach him. We talked strictly online and by phone (he had my number), which was quite often (though not enough for my taste). There were several times when he was in dispair and wanted me with him, and other times when he would completely push me away. I had to go with whatever he desired (and would have anyway), though I desperately wanted to be there with him and for him. Not long after (about 2 weeks or so), he had his surgery and died 2 days later from complications. Though I was crushed, I was thankful that he kept me at a distance to protect me. I still think of him, even though I have found a wonderfully exciting and perfect mate. Though now, after more than a year, I found that I really only thought of him on the anniversary of his death -- otherwise, I have been able to overcome the sorrow that I felt at his passing and was able to move on to a fruitful and exciting relationship with which I am very pleased.
I say all of this to underline the fact that we cannot always know what is in store for us and sometimes must be patient. I have always been a firm believer in the concept of: "if it's meant to be, it will happen". In my case, I was meant to find someone else -- and did, happily. In your case, who knows what the future holds? Be happy that you knew him, had a chance to care for him, and try to live day to day until you see the light at the end of the tunnel. Remember, you never know what tomorrow will bring.
Good luck to you --
_____________________________
afeathr
-Going where the wind blows me...
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RE: I MISS HIM! - 
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