Depression

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DeLust241 -> Depression (1/12/2007 12:53:52 PM)
I have fallen into a depression and I dont want to talk about it with anyone or my Master. For no reason that I can think of have made me depressed. The joys of bi-polar. My Master knows I have this and is aware that depression falls easy with no reason. But at these times I need more Dominance from him to keep me in the right head space. I havent been able to get this becasue he doesnt want to take advantage of my depression. Has anyone had this happen? Is there any ways I can dominant over my own mind during these falls? Any advice would help me. Thanks DeLust241 Collared Sub.

toservez -> RE: Depression (1/12/2007 1:06:41 PM)
Whenever I hear depression my first comment is see a doctor but it appears that you know your situation and it is controlled? First he probably knows that you are in a depressed state so what you need to do is to communicate your need/desire for him to step up his dominance of you as a way that helps you deal with it in a positive way. There should be nothing wrong with asking for him to recognize when you are in this state for him to step it up a little bit. I just do not believe this to be selfish or un-slave like. I do not think at all that him doing this to you is taking advantage of you or your disease but helping you out. I think open communication on that level would hopefully have him overcome his feelings in this area.

missturbation -> RE: Depression (1/12/2007 1:33:08 PM)
I'm not bi polar (i dont have the manic highs) but i do suffer from bouts of depression. Whilst depressed i do not feel that is is possible to have a right head space, your mind is too off balance. I credit your master with not wanting to push issues whilst you are like this. I think you just need to do whatever works for you and get yourself out of the depression. I'm sure from what you have said that your master will be patient and wait until things are right for you again. Good luck [:D]

obis -> RE: Depression (1/12/2007 1:35:36 PM)
As long as you're getting treatment for the bipolar disorder, you should be somewhat stabilized in terms of not having irrational moods. So you may need to talk to your doctor if there's no particular reason for your depression but you're heading that way. I suffer from depression and my father is bipolar, so I'm familiar with the temptation to wean yourself off the meds when things seem to be going well (or for financial reasons, which happened to me last year). As long as your master knows what is happening, that it the most important part, so he doesn't take it personally if you're low energy while working things out. I lost Riv, a slave I loved VERY much because depression snuck up on me and I didn't treat it, but she didn't know what was happening so she thought I had lost my passion for her. This is one of those situations where having a master can be quite useful -- he can and should use his authority to make sure you keep on top of your meds, stay active, do whatever things you need to do to stay afloat. This is a way he can genuinely take care of you and help you fight, by continuing to maintain the dynamic and not allowing you to slack off, which can be a real downward spiral.

onestandingstill -> RE: Depression (1/12/2007 1:50:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DeLust241 I have fallen into a depression But at these times I need more Dominance from him to keep me in the right head space. I haven't been able to get this because he doesn't want to take advantage of my depression. You have to trust his judgment if you think he's a good Master and has your beast interest at heart. I am also in the camp of I would personally think you Master would be the one to help you from what you mention here, but being I don't know the details I really have no other suggestions other than to take good care of yourself physically, recognize the depression for what it is and hang on till it passes. suzanne *edited as I forgot to spell check and I type terribly.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Depression (1/12/2007 1:57:07 PM)
From a fellow bipolar person (who is battling mania this week)...you need to talk. You know you do. I know that it's hard because you simply lack the desire to interact. But, you know that you have to. If you can't do it directly, write something to your Master, then print it out. Explain that you are feeling depressed and don't feel like talking, so you're writing. Make a request, politely, of what you think would be beneficial to you, even if it's something you won't like, such as him forcing you to have a conversation or making you get out of the house. Tell him you'll react negatively to it, if you know you will. Then, give him the note and wait. Sometimes, passive aggressive is all we've got. Master Fire

junecleaver -> RE: Depression (1/12/2007 2:43:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DeLust241 I have fallen into a depression and I dont want to talk about it with anyone or my Master. For no reason that I can think of have made me depressed. The joys of bi-polar. My Master knows I have this and is aware that depression falls easy with no reason. But at these times I need more Dominance from him to keep me in the right head space. I havent been able to get this becasue he doesnt want to take advantage of my depression. I'm not sure how giving you extra guidance/structure/dominance in a difficult time for you is taking advantage of your depression. I would think this would be more of a 'going out of his way to support you and build you up as a partner' thing. If this is a misunderstanding, maybe taking the time to communicate this to him would help. Not necessarily through talking, but through written letters or instant messenger. (What works, works.) quote: Has anyone had this happen? Is there any ways I can dominant over my own mind during these falls? Any advice would help me. Thanks DeLust241 Collared Sub. I'm not 'bi-polar' but I do have severe moodswings. During the down swings, I find it absolutely critical to somehow express my feelings or my thoughts. If I don't get out what I feel then I start to disappear and avoid everyone in my life. This ends up hurting the people that care about me. So also, allowing the people I love to love me back has been a huge step in controlling the swings. It's hard for me to 'dominate' my own mind, but it's not impossible. It takes focus and commitment to yourself. The thing that helped me most was putting myself on a schedule and sticking to it--regular sleeping patterns, eating, allowing myself to express my thoughts and feelings through different mediums, working out, and setting aside a specific time to concentrate on school work actually did wonders as well. Easier said than done, I know. I hope your condition evens out soon. <3

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Depression (1/12/2007 2:48:32 PM)
Bi-polars tend to be the most tedious to help because it's so much a chemical component that you can't really control and a complex interweaving on psychological drama and issues that causes them to spiral down. The mere act of trying to help a bi-polar can either incite them to become very aggressive or defensive about not NEEDING the help, or become even more depressed about needing the help. I find it helped me most to view bipolars as if they had just another sort of chemical imbalance which needs to be managed on a daily basis- and only they can really do that for themselves. I'll be a good person to them as always, but I refuse to change my behavior or what I consider a reasonable response to suit any of their particular moods at the time. http://www.collarchat.com/m_300695/mpage_1/key_bipolar/tm.htm#300695 bipolar again http://www.collarchat.com/m_211689/mpage_1/key_bipolar/tm.htm#211689 the bipolar sub http://www.collarchat.com/m_43341/mpage_1/key_bipolar/tm.htm#43341 mental health, self esteem and the doms responsibility http://www.collarchat.com/m_652730/mpage_1/key_depression/tm.htm#652730 severe depression in subs http://www.collarchat.com/m_530004/mpage_1/key_depression/tm.htm#530004 depression http://www.collarchat.com/m_514787/mpage_1/key_depression/tm.htm#514787 bdsm and bipolar (depression) issues - compatibility? http://www.collarchat.com/m_507289/mpage_1/key_depression/tm.htm#507289 depression in your life and play http://www.collarchat.com/m_391455/mpage_1/key_depression/tm.htm#391455 Depression (2) http://www.collarchat.com/m_257934/mpage_1/key_depression/tm.htm#257934 submissives with issues http://www.collarchat.com/m_190987/mpage_1/key_depression/tm.htm#190987 depression in the lifestyle http://www.collarchat.com/m_161175/mpage_1/key_depression/tm.htm#161175 depression and dominance

subsa -> RE: Depression (1/12/2007 2:55:21 PM)
i'm not bipolar but i do go through periods of depressions. Master and i have discussed this in depth. it's a very thin line your Master must walk. His dominatation can, at times, give me the structure i need to move past the depression. but it can also have the opposite effect (btdt). as others have said communication is vital. especially if you try this approach. you must give him feedback that lets him know if the domination is helping or hurting.

DeLust241 -> RE: Depression (1/12/2007 4:05:17 PM)
Well thank you too all who replied. Having talked to my Master a bit and changing something we normally do on Fridays, I seem a lil more at ease becasue I wont be lefted alone at all these evening. Also thanks to someone saying my meds may be messed up, My Master noticed I have been off with alot of things and I am seeing a doctor Monday. I have never stopped taking my meds all together but I think they need to be changed now. Thanks alot to all, DeLust241 collared sub

SusanofO -> RE: Depression (1/12/2007 4:35:13 PM)
Just take your meds. It's really, really important! If you are already of course, or will start to take new ones soon, then maybe it's part of your need to feel "accepted" by your Dominant, despite being bi-polar, to ask him to be a little more involved and communicative with you (or what ever way you wish he'd become more involved, or show he cares about you) - even in that state? Maybe it will take him some practice, but, besides being authoratative and insisting you do things like take your meds, he could learn how to interact with you if you are leaning more towards mania, for instance, (or feeling very down), as far as bdsm acitivity so it wouldn't harm you, necessarily, probably (although I know when I am really depressed I don't want to do much of anything, so maybe this would only be practical if you were on an even keel, or leaning more towards mania. You know that better than I do, though). And, it's to his credit, I suppose, that he's hesitant, as far as maybe feeling he'd be "taking advantage" of you (but hey - isn't that what he does as a Dominant anyway - isn't that sort of in his "job description"?) Maybe it's a matter of how one interprets terminology. And you didn't go into detail about what he means when he says "I don't want to take advantage of you". I've been on anti-depressants for over 25 years, for uni-polar depression, and have two close friends who are bi-polar. I've been lucky enough to not have many dark, bottom-of-the-pit moods - but had one recently, last last month. I can work myself through it, I've been doing it for 25 years now. I admit, it can be nicer to have a shoulder to lean on, when and if that happens. But, it can also be very draining to the other person, sometimes, so I always hesitate to do that, and that's not necessarily a bad thing (but that's my own situation, of course). Sometimes I do, just not to the degree I want to, for instance (which might be a very good thing, considering how dark those moods can become). I still, every so often (about once a year, usually) will stop taking as many meds as I need (at least cut the dose) without any medical advice whatsoever - just to see if I still "really need" the meds. I know it's stupid, too, as this "experiment" has never once shown me that is true, in 25 years. But I think it might be my ego talking to me when I do stupid stuff like that. At least I do it a whole lot less often than I did, say, 10 years ago. But - I think I understand when people do that. And I know bi-polar meds can be more challenging to take then the one I take. I think maybe my experiments have to do with still feeling some stigmatization for being a "depressive" at all. But - it's not our fault. I was born this way. It is a chemical imbalance, in my case, just like yours. And even if it wasn't, it would probably not eliminate the need for some kind of chemical solution (meds). IMO. If what you say about needing his guidance more in this state is a true "need" (and it could be) and not just a "want", then I'd politley ask if you can discuss further the ways he can help you with these phases, without violating his sense of integrity. Good luck. - Susan

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Depression (1/12/2007 5:15:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DeLust241 I have never stopped taking my meds all together but I think they need to be changed now. This implies that you've either stopped taking most of then or have stopped taking them on a regular basis. You cannot do this and expect to remain balanced. Just because you feel better isn't a reason to stop taking them; you feel better because you ARE taking them. Hopefully, I'm not just spitting into the wind here...although I probably am. This is THE #1 REASON bipolar people have so much trouble. You cannot treat this like a cold where you only take meds when you feel bad. You wouldn't only take birth control when you were feeling fertile, would you? There are some meds that must be taken on a very regular basis in very regulated dosages in order for them to work. Master Fire

Daddysredhead -> RE: Depression (1/12/2007 7:28:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: junecleaver During the down swings, I find it absolutely critical to somehow express my feelings or my thoughts. If I don't get out what I feel then I start to disappear and avoid everyone in my life. You are correct... stifling the hard things that really need to be said is so easy to do. Finding the strength to "say" them - verbally or in writing, can be so hard. I have written some things down in the past few days, now I just need to find the courage to get the message to the people who need to know how I feel... I wish all of you with similar mood/depressive disorders peace in your hearts and minds.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Depression (1/12/2007 7:43:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead You are correct... stifling the hard things that really need to be said is so easy to do. Finding the strength to "say" them - verbally or in writing, can be so hard. I have written some things down in the past few days, now I just need to find the courage to get the message to the people who need to know how I feel... I wish all of you with similar mood/depressive disorders peace in your hearts and minds. I highly recommend setting up a livejournal account when you are feeling better. Invite all those who matter to you when you're depressed. Then, the next time you are and you write some things down, all you have to do it hit the post key once. Yes, it's passive aggressive to not talk directly to the person, but it's better than not communicating at all. Master Fire

Daddysredhead -> RE: Depression (1/12/2007 8:05:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam quote: ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead You are correct... stifling the hard things that really need to be said is so easy to do. Finding the strength to "say" them - verbally or in writing, can be so hard. I have written some things down in the past few days, now I just need to find the courage to get the message to the people who need to know how I feel... I wish all of you with similar mood/depressive disorders peace in your hearts and minds. I highly recommend setting up a livejournal account when you are feeling better. Invite all those who matter to you when you're depressed. Then, the next time you are and you write some things down, all you have to do it hit the post key once. Yes, it's passive aggressive to not talk directly to the person, but it's better than not communicating at all. Master Fire Thank you, MFM... strangely enough, I was thinking of doing livejournal or something similar just this afternoon. smiles

BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: Depression (1/12/2007 8:09:28 PM)
Oh my, I had never really thought of my journal I write and send to Him as having passive aggressive tendancies, but you're right. I suffer from bouts of depression, often due to hormonal mood swings. Even with my journal, I still have a hard time just laying it all out there for Him to see. But I do know this, even though it may be passive aggressive, I would have never been able to share these feelings with Him if I had to do it verbally. A couple of days ago, He called right after I had an emotionally trying run-in with my Dad. He wanted to know what was wrong and I said I didn't want to talk about it, and He said, "You know you have no option." So I started trying to explain and became a blithering, crying idiot. [&o] To His credit, He worked to calm me down, even though He still didn't get the whole story - I ended up journaling about it so He'd understand. It may be passive aggressive sometimes, but it's the only tool in the toolbox that will work for me sometimes. [:o] [&:]

IvyP -> RE: Depression (1/12/2007 8:13:00 PM)
EXACTLY what standingstill said :) Master knows best and should redirect you

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Depression (1/12/2007 8:25:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel Oh my, I had never really thought of my journal I write and send to Him as having passive aggressive tendancies, but you're right. I suffer from bouts of depression, often due to hormonal mood swings. Even with my journal, I still have a hard time just laying it all out there for Him to see. But I do know this, even though it may be passive aggressive, I would have never been able to share these feelings with Him if I had to do it verbally. A couple of days ago, He called right after I had an emotionally trying run-in with my Dad. He wanted to know what was wrong and I said I didn't want to talk about it, and He said, "You know you have no option." So I started trying to explain and became a blithering, crying idiot. [&o] To His credit, He worked to calm me down, even though He still didn't get the whole story - I ended up journaling about it so He'd understand. It may be passive aggressive sometimes, but it's the only tool in the toolbox that will work for me sometimes. [:o] [&:] Hey, if it gets the job done, it's not a bad thing. Believe me, I use it, too. I spend a lot of time alone, sometimes because of circumstance, sometimes because of choice. Therefore, I write much better than I think I speak...although I'm learning to communicate much better face to face. With writing, I can edit, change, reformat, change and edit until I think it says exactly what I want it to say. When speaking, I have to do it with care and slow in response so I don't say things that can sound different than what I intend. The important thing is that you ARE communicating. Master Fire

MaryT -> RE: Depression (1/12/2007 8:30:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DeLust241 I have fallen into a depression and I dont want to talk about it with anyone or my Master. That is depression in a nutshell. Good advice on this thread and I won't add to it except to say I hope you get feeling better fast. MaryT

syreena -> RE: Depression (1/12/2007 8:49:29 PM)
Depression, bi-polar and many other mental illnesses need a comprehensive approach to helping those that suffer from these horrible diseases. Medical services, therapeutic services and community services may need to be accessed to assist you through this very hard time. i will reiterate what Master Fire Ma'am said by saying take your medications that have been prescribed to you by a professional medical person and take them as prescribed. Going off of any medication requires certain protocols so that you do not suffer further complications. If you feel the need to go off of the medication discuss this with your medical provider so that proper procedures can be followed. It is also important to take them even when you are feeling better. i would like to say it sounds that your Master understands mental illness by having you see a medical provider and would highly recommend that even perhaps He go with you if possible. your Master may also want you to have a full physical - check for diabetes, thyroid problems, hormonal levels also you may need to ask for a sleep study to determine if you have sleep problems as this also masks depression. He may also want to have documentation on noted symptoms, written questions to ask the medical provider and help with a follow up appointments if you are not able to do this. There are several things you can do to help relieve some of the symptoms. Make sure you are eating properly, exercising some, getting enough sun light (seasonal affective disorders are very common), and sleeping correctly. Document any new symptoms, sleep times (this includes naps) and any noted side effects from any medication to share with your medical provider (s). Remember to take responsibility for your own care and deal with these feelings now; however, you will feel better as you are not alone but no one can know how long these symptoms may last. When you are feeling better write down things that you enjoy and keep the list so that when your not feeling good you can refer to it. Simple things such as blowing bubbles in the back yard or watching a movie can help in many ways. Part of what we know about depression is that it takes away motivation from people and not talking about it can only make things worse. It is important to deal with these feelings now before they get any worse. Communication is important in any relationship and especially in a power exchange relationship. Talk with your Master about things He can do such as help you remember appointments, help you write questions down to ask your provider (s), look up information on your illness. When starting a new treatment or medication ask what are the benefits and side effects of this are. you may want to ask how long before i can expect some results and how long will i be doing this treatment. Another good question to ask is what are the protocols if this medication or treatment doesn't work and what are the alternatives to this. If you need help finding a medical provider or therapist in your area please feel free (or if preferred have your Master) contact me in e-mail as i would be honored to help.

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