Letting go

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Letting go - 2/26/2005 9:57:49 PM

teachmetobeg

Posts: 43
Joined: 1/23/2005
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i have grown up always taking care of myself, never even really had many rules. i would say since i was 10, i took care of myself and often times my mom. Even my friends always ran to me for advice or 'healing' when they needed it. i am now 20 and have finally found who i have known i am for a long time. (Yes i knew i was submissive since preteens, just didn't want to admit it)
i am in training with Sir and He has set many (for me that could be more than 3) rules for me to follow. Some are more strict than others, but i know this time i can not just bat my eyes and get rid of an infraction.
i have a fear growing inside of me(partially because i am anally retentive about things--nursing school will do that to ya :) ) that i will not be able to follow the rules, or will forget about one if it does not come up for awhile. i have addressed my concerns with Sir and He has talked with me throughly. i know that He not only cares for me for what i can offer Him in play, but also for who i am (mind and all). i also care deeply for Him.
my question then is: How can i let go of the fear of doing wrong? Will i feel more at ease in time?

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RE: Letting go - 2/26/2005 11:39:59 PM

NoPinkBalloons

Posts: 125
Joined: 2/7/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: teachmetobeg
How can i let go of the fear of doing wrong? Will i feel more at ease in time?

That "fear" or aprehension is there for a reason. It keeps you mindful of those rules. For many people, as soon as you start to feel overly comfortable with things, you begin to let them slide.

Eventually, most "rules" will become 2nd nature to you, if they're in place for long enough (not just in a d/s relationship, but in life in general). Until they do, it's good to be wary about breaking them, and those reminders when you DO get lax will reinforce that need for conscious attention to them until they become engrained.

So, rather than trying to quell the fear, why not embrace it for doing what it's supposed to do?

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-- Sherri

A hard-on does NOT count as personal growth

(in reply to teachmetobeg)

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RE: Letting go - 2/26/2005 11:47:28 PM

teachmetobeg

Posts: 43
Joined: 1/23/2005
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i did not think of it like that. Thanks for the twist in viewpoint.

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RE: Letting go - 2/27/2005 7:22:15 AM

terah