ProtagonistLily -> RE: The Trouble with Words (2/27/2005 7:11:25 AM)
|
quote:
Lionidas said: <SNIP>I haven't been around all that long (16 years), but it seems to me that even in that span the definitions and the distinctions that they are intended to draw have grown a lot murkier. When I started out, just as an example, if someone said "He's Lauren's Master" they meant something very different than if they said "He's a Sadist". Today, someone can say "I'm a Master" and they might mean more or less what someone meant back then if they said "I'm a Sadist". You just don't know. You've got to play 20 questions. "Whose Master Are you?" "I'm not anyone's Master, I'm just a Master" "A Master of something then ?" "Yes, I'm very skilled with a single-tail, wax, and floggers" "Ahhhh... OK, gotcha". "I'm a slave" "Nice to meet you, who is your owner?" "My owner? I'm not owned, I'm just a slave" "So, um, you'd like to have an owner then?" "NO! I'M NOT A DOORMAT! I just enjoy it when someone puts me on a leash and makes me behave like a slave and call them master. What's the matter with you anyway?" "My mistake.... thanks for clearing that up". I totally agree here. I've not been around 16 years, but I too have found the above to have migrated from a more tightly structured set of definitions to more broadly structured meanings, which I too have found myself uncomfortable with. To me, you can't use the term Master the way you use the term Dentist. Master as a concept certainly implies that a man is Dominant and that he practices the D/s component of the ever popular BDSM. However, unlike Dentist, which isn't a concept but a factual representation of a certain studied curriculum, there is no universally accepted measurement in our sub-culture (no pun, really) for what qualifies someone to use the title "Master". In the world of WIIWD, I suppose anyone can call themselves anything and get away with it. I have found, through my own experiences in the scene, there seems to be this idea that because we are 'kinky' we should be hyper accepting of individuals by way of definition. Frankly, (note, YMMV on this next statement) I don't think ease of use with regard to BDSM has necessarily made the scene better, though I do think it's made things a bit more dilute. We have lost a sense of protocol, of structure, because of the influx of so many who seem to believe that how one role plays in a chat room can translate into the real life scene. I find it frustrating at times. What I have found is that often times, people will use terms they have no business using, like those you mentioned above, because they lack the self confidence, personal knowledge, or are simply insecure in their 'chosen' role. I say this because I believe that sometimes when people learn about BDSM through chat rooms, they have a conversation with themselves that goes something like this: "Hey, this is cool, I'm bound to get laid more with all the sluts around. I'll be a Master and woo hoo...more layage." Now, I don't mean to make fun of someone who finds their legitimate role in BDSM through online RP; but there is a dilution of thought when people show up and try to manipulate the underlying norms that are present in our particular culture because they don't really deeply identify with WIIWD other than to get more sex. I think, more than anything, this is where the murkieness of language regarding these titles comes from. quote:
I'm probably just gettin' old, but I don't like it. I know we're all non-conformists, but do we really need to dom the language to the point of linguistic anarchy? If a word can mean anything, it doesn't really mean anything, if you know what I mean. The value of words as an aid to communication and social interaction vanishes in the haze. This is especially unfortunate in a text-only medium, where I can't see if the man I'm addressing is wearing black leather, boots, and chains, or a cardigan and penny loafers. I agree with you on this, but I think that 'we' (those of us who did not do the chat room route, etc.) have to take some responsibility for where the language has drifted as well. My experience has been that folks who had muddied the terms have simply worn many of us down. I frankly don't want to have an argument with someone with very little experience time after time as to why calling themselves a Master when in fact they A) don't have someone in a collar, B) aren't interested in 'owning' someone C) are just here to Top and get laid and D) anything else they can come up with does not jive with what's been somewhat codified by the 'literature' (i.e. Screw The Roses, Differant Loving, etc.) I think part of the problem is that we've simply been worn down by individual's needs to Title themselves in order to legitimize themselves. quote:
I think some folks would say that words, and the distinctions they represent are a bad thing. Nobody should be distinct from anyone else, and so words really should mean what the speaker intends them to mean, no more, no less. The speaker, not the word, should be master, as Humpty Dumpty was saying when he confused the hell out of Alice. What do you all think? Well, Lionidas, I can call myself Madonna, but that doesn't mean I can sing. Lily
|
|
|
|