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LadyHugs -> RE: When accidents happen (1/18/2007 8:49:42 AM)
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Dear sweetsurrender22, Ladies and Gentlemen;
In my mind's eyes I see; Dominants put on the mantle of responsibilities, duties, compassion, skills and or healer, teacher, guide, coach and such; every time we (in a general sense) interact with another human being.
It is the desire for Dominants to have those in their care, come out unharmed and eager to do more. When there are accidents, to which all humans are prone to by our very nature; we punish ourselves when things go wrong--be it in or out of our control, if we're Dominants who really care. It is crushing when accidents happen.
Pleasing each other, sometimes we try too hard. We may be too eager and let things go faster or out of control. Its normal. It is natural and its often the cause behind accidents. Either a slight miss-matching of timing, communications and or other things.
When you have equipment failure--it is also a problem. Although you can check equipment; behind the paint or the surface; you don't see the flaws or the stress marks which 'warn.' So, even though there is no warning outwardly--things break; especially when they aren't designed for the weight load, stress and or torque load, live weight verses static weight (also known as dead weight).
Sometimes, you (in a general sense) you'll feel guilty to the point of quiting. I see in my mind's eyes, that the majority of those who are in the scene and or lifestyle; wish to do no harm to another. To prevent a table from breaking or such; is just as fruitless as to prevent the weather from coming and creating a disaster. It doesn't make it any easier for the Dominant to experience it.
The major thing slaves/submissives can do, is to make every effort to support their Dominant, looking at lessons learned, prevention of future disasters in that area; to say you're forgiveness to the dominant and allow them their time to forgive themselves. Personally, I feel slaves and Dominants beat each other up far better than being beaten by another person.
Accidents are just that--accidents. Not a willful and or intentional act.
Perhaps together, both of you can inspect prospective equipment and problem solve as far as strengthing that bondage piece.
My personal "Rule of Thumb" is to get something bondage wise, that will handle a big horse's power, big horse's dead weight and or live weight. And, three times more weight capacity as the heaviest person you work with.
Just some thoughts.
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
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