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Therapy helps some heal, it hurts others more, and it all depends on the individual to how helpful it is.

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ORIGINAL: SlyStone


The master slave relationship is a unique one in that power is shifted to one person who may become, among other things, a kind of quasi therapist and I wonder about the implications of such a dynamic.

While I believe that BDSM can be used to work through emotional problems I also think the possibility for causing further damage is just as likely when dealing with amateurs and I would say that most of us here are amateurs, ie not professionals, in the realm of psychosocial behavior.

I am not talking about all BDSM relationships here, just the ones where the dominant and submissive use the dynamic to work through major emotional issues, especially past issues.

And so I wonder, does anyone here feel that they may consciously or unconsciously be acting out, within their BDSM relationship, a therapist patient relationship and if so has this been  a good thing, a negative thing, or of no consequence to them?

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ORIGINAL: topcat

M.Sly-
 
I suppose that it's my belief that any relationship- not just a romantic one- is a chance for resolving issues that result from our past experiances. While it may be a bit more overt in a D/S interaction, I have healed and been healed in many mundane interactions.
 
I have been lucky enough to have two employers that I had very healthy, positive growth experiances in my personal interactions with- I'd like to think that our work together was good for them, too.
 
In any interaction, not matter how brief, we bring behaviors that we have developed over a lifetime. some of these are positive- they are effective at creating situtions where we can both grow, both achieve our more mundane goals, and allow us to learn who we are and how to best express and actualise ourselves.  Some are not, and sometimes result in our becoming attached to 'bad' behavoirs, mindsets that do not lead us to a better self. Hopefully, we discover ways to maximise that first sort of relationships, and avoid, or learn better ways of interacting, in the second.
 
it's a life's work.
 
Stay warm,
Lawrence

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Indeed due to adversity in my life am a person who's become strong as steel. I absolutely have hated being that person since I was about 16.

I get so tired of feeling like I want to have someone to lean on that will be stronger than me.
In that most of my relationships were flawed in my vanilla life as often I found arrogance, and self ego in my partners that ended up crushing me.
My first D/s relationship was toxic and almost crushed me. 

When I awoke to the sub inside me everything in me finally made sense to me. Who I am and who I've been were geared to me being submissive without the knowledge that was it.

I'm not a OK try and make me submit type of sub. What I find is my resistance comes from my fear to relinquish the internal control I have as a safety net due to all my neurosis.
I want to give up my control completely and think in time I may be able to be a full slave as I feel in my heart that's the life I need, not want, but need to be to be whole and home for the first time in my life.
I know I'm so far from who I want to be that it will be like climbing Mt Everest to get there due to my own psychosis and conditioning.

I do my absolute best to be a good submissive. If I totally disagree or don't want to follow my Dom's orders I still do what he requests, but in my heart and self I'm resistant though on the surface I comply.
I desperately desire to comply and trust my Sir with all of me.
That indeed is a tough order to fill in myself.

I find sometimes I do things thinking indeed I'm a good girl only to see it was something tot ally wrong to do and not the behavior of a submissive at all.
At that point I'm so hurt and offended at myself for my actions I carry the weight of that error around a long time even after I've been counseled, punished and forgiven.
It's very very hard to forgive myself as I want to be good with everything in me. I also am disappointed because I'm an intelligent person and I'm frustrated by my disillusioned notions.
I piss myself off deeper and more often than I do any one else.
I indeed feel this is my life and I lay land mines for myself.

I agree till a Master is patient enough, and wise enough to train me in how to achieve being who I want to be with all my heart that I'm indeed too broken and set in my bad ways to change them myself and even sometimes see my errors.

I also see for the most part I am a good submissive. In those times when my real self is firing on all cylinders I can feel I'm serving my higher purpose and living the way I need to to be whole.
So while I do indeed screw up major sometimes and I do indeed hurt myself and sometimes my Dom unintentionally by bad behavior or resistance I will never be able to give up the need to keep trying to get this right.

I absolutely am a control freak of myself. I want to lose that part of me to the point it's not in me. My strength and hard headedness is indeed my biggest weakness.
When I reach the point I can trust my Sir enough to not only comply on the surface, but inside and completely I know then indeed I will be whole.

I feel indeed the opposite. I have sever emotional trauma in my life.  I indeed have unconditional love.
I may not ever want to see those I loved before again due to the trauma, but if they came to me in true need I would help each and every one of them still.
To me love seems more eternal. Once I open that love to someone and feel it, I will love them till the day I die and maybe even in the afterlife.
Love never stops, wanting to associate to to abuse does.
suzanne

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ORIGINAL: domiguy

Unfortunately  people who suffer from the effects of "deep seated" emotional issues are usually incapable of receiving or giving "true unconditional love"...."deep seated emotional Issues"!!!!!!

But go on...don't get the therapy you need...the guy or gal on this site...probably knows better!

Lately I have read extensively on how there have been major advancements in "Piss Therapy" cures everything from the scars of child abuse to abandonment issues...This must be what you all are referring to...I stand corrected.

out.

D.G.

p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers....and dom/sub wannabee therapists.

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ORIGINAL: SlyStone

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Therapy helps some heal, it hurts others more, and it all depends on the individual to how helpful it is.

It also depends on the therapist or lack there of. In any case  my post was regarding dominants becoming quasi therapists, not the merits of therapy.

As to the Oprahwinfreyism that love heals all wounds,sounds great but is to far to simplistic and does not always reflect reality.  For example , children who have been unconditionally loved commit suicide and self love can sometimes lead to self destructive egoism.

You are coming off as insensitive, uneducated and uninformed. Unless that is your goal I suggest you stop.

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But I am asking  if people have taken on , consciously or unconsciously, defined therapist and patient roles and attemped to use BDSM or D/s to get at causation and resolve deep emotional issues.