Do I belong here?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Do I belong here?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Do I belong here?

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Do I belong here? - 2/27/2005 8:59:56 AM

Phillyboy

Posts: 2
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline

Hello, I am new to this website and can best be described as a truly "vanilla" person. I'm a 56 year old, truly "nice" guy. In recent eyars my relationships have not been fullfilling and the root cause lies from a medical problem. I did have serious surgery and in an emergency procedure my male organ was badly mutilated and later most of it was removed.

A successful relationship is about much more than sex, but without the sexual foundation the relationships sooner or later will fail. Though affectionate and remonatic, I cannot fulfill the traditional male role and have made it clear to partners that I would fully understand their finding physical satisfction outside of our relationship. Emotional devotion and companionship is what I want and desire, and what I can return in kind. Not one has ever agreed, saying theat they could not "cheat" but the frustration and lack ofsatisfaction have eventually served to undermine our own relationships.

I do truly enjoy strong and powerful women. I never thought of myself as wanting to be dominated, but cannot enjoy a woman who I can dominate. I want a powerful woman. Perhaps this is the type of relationship that I ahve heard is called Ds. I understand the term "cuckold" but this seems to imply some sort of humiliation, and that does not interest me. I just want to be with a woman and be sure she is totally ahppy and fulfilled.

Do I live with terrible frustration? Yes. And handling that is something I am open to discussing with a woman with whom I expect to share a long term and committed relationship.

Am I looking in the right place?

Phillyboy

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Do I belong here? - 2/27/2005 9:11:39 AM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

There is so much more to a relationship than just sex. Sex is a wonderful thing, but I'd rather go without having sex with my submissive than to go without his touch. You still have fingers and a tongue. You are capable of pleasing a woman. While you no longer get the physical thrill of ejaculation, you can get the emotional satisfaction of making someone happy. You also, if not able to be fitted for a prosthetic, can use a strap on. I've often used that with a male in chastity, as an extra little zing. They fit men as well as women and you just have to find one that fits WELL.

I don't know if this is the proper place for you or not. You might as well try it as it can't hurt. Be very upfront in your ad. Say you're not interested in any type of humiliation, but would be open for her having other partners. If you are looking for a tender, loving type of relationship, make sure you mention that.

There are women out there who do not find sex pleasurable and "put up with it" to please the husband. Considering that fact, you should be able to find someone who would enjoy a primarily romantic emotional relationship. Don't give up.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to Phillyboy)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Do I belong here? - 2/27/2005 9:13:45 AM

MsSilvie

Posts: 248
Joined: 2/4/2005
Status: offline

I couldn't tell you if this is the place where you will find what you are seeking or not. That doesn't mean you can't be here and enjoy whatever interactions you get from the site.

I'm sure you do live with a lot of frustrations. Not everyone (vanilla or kinky) feels compelled to live a "traditional life". There are relationships that are loving and long term that don't always involve intercourse. People can also have a completely satisfying sexual element without penile/vaginal intercourse. My suggestion would be to not apply what you think is required in a relationship to everyone elses requirements.

Good luck, and hope you find positive experiences here.

(in reply to Phillyboy)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Do I belong here? - 2/28/2005 6:43:15 AM

Phillyboy

Posts: 2
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline

Der Beach Mystress:

You have hit the nail on the head. For my part, the "mental" stimulation had replaced the physcial act of ejaculation. I do love to perform orally and manually with my partner.

The common thread in all of my relationships is that my not having an ejaculation is VERY troubling to my partners. They do not seem to believe that I am enjoying having relations with them since the "proof" is not present.

I have brought up the subject of use of "strap-on" (both my wearing one for them, and vice-versa) but no one has ever been willing.

AJ

(in reply to BeachMystress)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Do I belong here? - 2/28/2005 8:23:35 AM

craftywulf

Posts: 35
Joined: 2/15/2005
Status: offline

Very interesting and as i am a eunuch i understand what you are saying but yes we can perform we just cant have intercourse as many would like it.But we can give love and yes we do have hands and a mouth to satisfy our partner and we are always ready to please otherwise no orgasam to slow us down.Keep looking i know their is a partner out their who will be glad to have you just the way you are

(in reply to Phillyboy)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Do I belong here? - 2/28/2005 8:40:03 AM

WulfMan

Posts: 115
Status: offline

Dear Phillyboy,

You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. The kind of relationship that you seek is out there I assure you. For example, I am not technically in the BDSM lifestlye, mine is more of the loving submission, I too just wish to please a woman to the utmost.
Although your loss is a tough one, it does rule you out of the ball park for being a sex fiend, which many Woman are sick of these days. The right woman is out there trust me.

(in reply to craftywulf)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Do I belong here? - 3/19/2005 3:13:13 PM

MistressMiss

Posts: 24
Joined: 2/24/2005
Status: offline

Phil
Coming from a Mistress that does not look for the sexual fulfillment of intercourse as I am married, I do understand your feelings about needing to find someone that will like you and have a relationship with you without intercourse. I for one get so tired of the normal " do me" attitude that some men have, and it is very nice to have someone to just dote and pleasure me without the stipulations of actual intercourse.

My opinion for what it's worth. I can't say as you will find what you want here, but there are some Mistresses that will enjoy that type of play and be willing to talk to you. As Beach Mystress said just be very up front about what you want and need in your add, and be patient.

Hope this helped a little and good luck to you

_____________________________

Miss

Opinions are like assholes, everybody has them and most of them stink
Life goes on you can bury your head in the sand or face it head on

(in reply to Phillyboy)

Profile

Post #: 7